Rules For Writers
**I don't own this, I found it off of a random website. But yeah, I did not make these, I just thought they were funny and that I'd share them with my Quibblonian pals! Enjoy!
1.Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6.Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7.Be more or less specific.
8.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.No sentence fragments.
11.Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14.One should NEVER generalize.
15.Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16.Don't use no double negatives.
17.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26.Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28.If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally ...
34.Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3.And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6.Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7.Be more or less specific.
8.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9.Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10.No sentence fragments.
11.Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13.Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14.One should NEVER generalize.
15.Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16.Don't use no double negatives.
17.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18.One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.The passive voice is to be ignored.
21.Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22.Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23.Kill all exclamation points!!!
24.Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25.Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26.Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28.If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29.Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31.Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32.Who needs rhetorical questions?
33.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally ...
34.Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
20 Comments
You should be my grammar teacher! :P
nice!! I love it! and yes i know i used exclamation points, but they are EXTREMLEY irritating in some stories, you just don't really need them!
I love all of these! After last year when I learned about prepositions, and my amazing language teacher used me in an example of turning the lights off, and turning off the lights--bet you can guess which one's correct--I never use prepositions at the end of a sentence.
These are all so hilarious!! I love how every one of them breaks the rule they're stating. XD XD XD
I hate grammer, but when you put it that way, its kinda fun =P
Soooo funny!!!! My favorite- Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
My best friend really needs to read that one XD
my comment didn't show up, and I'm just noticing it. Anyway, what I said was, "I love this. bahaha ;-)"
You are ever so smooth Hermionita. :D
Why thank you Dumbledurfi, I try to be smooth at all times XD haha
I love this! It's brilliant. I use conjunctions to start sentences, but that's only when I'm writing informally. If I'm writing a story, I'll probably do it, but I won't otherwise. I think more people should see this. What was the website?
Ahh, I'm not sure, I was just browsing around on the Internet for some writing tips, I think. Either that or it was on some listing website. I forget xD
Bahahahaha, this is brilliant! xD
When I read a few ones I though 'But you just did it...' but then my slow brain got it all. :D
Ohhh Durfi. What are going to do with you, child? xD
Go away mom. >:D
This could be a list of ways to use the right grammer as well. It is a brilliant idea though.