Spy Turkey

I’m scared. Why am I scared? Turkeys are disappearing! For the past couple of weeks, the farmers were giving us extra food, and now they are taking us away to who knows where. Heck, there was even a news report with an eye-witness. “He’s climbing in the pens, and snatching your turkeys up. So you better hide your eggs, hide your hens, and hide your toms (a male turkey) ‘cause they’re snatching everybody up in here!” Well, I’ve decided to do something about it.
My name’s Tina Turkey, spy extraordinaire. I was sent on a mission to figure out what’s going on, and I plan to crack this case like an egg. I gathered as much information as I could (which was only that turkeys are mysteriously disappearing) and decided to hitch a ride on a suspicious looking vehicle—a giant hotdog with the words Oscar Mayer printed on the side. If that doesn’t say suspicious, I don’t know what does. I was on my way when—pop! No! A blown tire! Not to mention a rookie with no idea how to change a tire was driving. After a while, we were on our way again.
Eventually, we came to a stop outside a warehouse. I decide to get out and explore. I came across a neighborhood. Time to put my spy skills to work. I looked into a window—and nearly screamed and blew my cover.
They. Were. Eating. Us! Right along with some slimy cranberries! It was horrible! I could smell my fallen brethren from all the way outside. And the worst part is—I heard laughter. They were having a good time! The savages were devouring my fellow turkey with stuffing! My mouth went dry and the cold window I was leaning against seemed to grow colder. I listened in and these murderers apparently called this tragedy “Thanksgiving.” There are so many thing wrong with that word in this situation I won’t even start. I had to do something about this.
I quickly ran to the hotdog with wheels. It was just leaving, but I managed to jump on. It happened to drive through some residential neighborhoods. I checked to make sure the rookie driving had his headphones in his ears with the music blearing. I went to where some of the frozen hotdogs were kept and threw them out of the car yelling, “Get your hotdogs! They’re even better than turkey!” I ducked back inside and sure enough, people came outside to grab some free hotdogs. I think I even planted the seed in their minds that they should eat hotdogs instead of turkeys on what they called “Thanksgiving.” I smiled. All in a day’s work.