Narnia (Edmund love story)
I've recently re-fallen in love with Edmund and the other Pevensie Kids from Narnia so I decided to make a Fan-made story.
So in this story, Emily Armstrong is just a regular teenager from Canada 2011. She then finds herself trapped is the mysterious world of Narnia with her enemy John Matthews.
In Narnia, Nothing is how it seems, with trees moving and animals talking. While the 4 Kings and Queens take care of her Emily feels like a prisoner and wonders how she will ever get home...
Chapter 1
The Janitor's Closet
I was sitting in Chem doodling aimlessly on the corner of my notes. My friend Naomi tells me I can't have a piece of paper in front of me for more than a minute without me doing something to it. Folding it, twisting it or crumpling it if I don't have a pencil. If I do then I doodle swirls and circles in the corner, practice my signature over headings. If I have a song stuck in my head then I will wright the lyrics of the chorus.
Mrs.Patterson was going on and on about what we needed to remember for our final exams. I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. Chem wasn't really my main focus because Julliards University was offering me a full scholarship for dance. I was mostly worried about the basics like Math and English.
Time was ticking by slower than ever. Everyone was bouncing in their chairs because they were excited for Prom this Friday.
I looked over at my lab partner. this semester, Mrs. Patterson decided she hated me and made me lad partners with the boy I hate, John Matthews. He was an average height guy with light brown hair gelled up. His eyes were hazel and had a couple of freckles. Overall, he was a pretty normal dude. Except for the fact that he's been my enemy since Gr.3 when he put pudding in my hair. I wasn't as mad about my hair than I was that he did it purposely just for laughs.
Ever since then he has been trying to ruin my day every chance he gets. Annoying me, embarrassing me, dissing me. he still calls me train tracks from when I had braces in middle school. You would think that he would mature by 12th grade. Guess not. My theory is that he was dropped on his head as a baby.
A sudden vibration in my back pocket brought me back down to earth. I got out my phone from my jean short shorts that my best friend Lisa cut last weekend. They used to be boot cut but while I went to go get my English essay from the printer downstairs, she found scissors and the jeans. I wore them today because it's one of the hottest days so far in our small town of Sudbury, Canada and I didn't have anything else.
Lisa has been my best friend since kindergarten when I shared my crayons with her at drawing time. We were two peas in a pod, almost joined at the hip. We were both fun-loving, curious, trouble-making girls.
I did envy her effortless beauty. Long blonde curls, clear blue eyes, flawless skin. Compared to my brown hair and eyes, I look dull next to her. And the pink streak in her hair doesn't help me at all.
She was mostly likely to win prom queen. Everyone liked her, she was the head cheerleader. I won't be surprised if her boyfriend-starting quarterback and captain of our schools football team- was prom king.
I looked up to make sure it was clear to check the text. Mrs.Patterson was writing on the board so I went ahead and read it
hope this rings.have fun in detention ;)
We always tried to get each other in detention. She usually always got me when I forget to turn my phone on vibrate but I was glad I didn't today. This day was already bad enough, I didn't want detention to make it worse.
I looked at her and smirked . I was glad she was in most of my classes this semester. That wasn't unlikely though. In our town, You graduate with the people you met in Jk. So in two weeks I will be leaving some of my closest friend like Naomi, Sarah and Gabby.Lisa and I have a plan, we're both moving to New York for school and sharing an apartment there.
But thankfully leaving people like John.
"Stop texting Train-tracks" Speak of the devil.
"Shut up John" I hissed replying to Lisa.
"I know you're texting your friends about how hot you think I am" he said in a sing-y voice
"You're delusional"
"Excuse me. Miss.Armstrong and Mr.Matthews, there is a class going on" said Mrs.Patterson
"He was talking to me" I accused
"But you have not listened for 1 minute in this class, So both of you to Mrs.Harper's office NOW!" She said pointing to the door. Mrs.Harper was our school principal.
So I had detention and it was with John, How could things get worse.
So we were walking down the hallway. I noticed a door that I've never seen before yet I've come down this hall everyday for the past 4 years.
"Why are you stopping?" asked John annoyed
"Have you seen this door before?" I asked. There was a little label that read Janitor's closet. But the Janitor's closet was in the west wing. Not near the main office.
"No, And who cares, it's just a Janitor's closet" he said continuing to walk.
"Com'on, don't you think it's a bit strange that neither of us has seen this door but we've been in this school 4 years. Don't you think we would have noticed it before?" i said "I want to take a look inside" I reached for the door and surprisingly in was unlocked. Inside, it was pitch black.
"You're stupid you know that" he said but I could see the curiosity in his face
"Shut up and help me find the light switch, or are you too scared." I teased. He grumbled something and came in with me and started looking. Suddenly, it wasn't wall that I was feeling, it was rock. There was a light up ahead so we followed that. When we were in the light. I could see now that we weren't in a Janitor's closet, We just came out of a cave and in the middle of some forest. And the door was gone.
"Um Emily, Where are we?" asked John scared
"No idea, but on the bright side, we don't have detention anymore" I said half heartily. He glared at me saying this wasn't the time for jokes. "Ok don't panic, I'm sure we'll get back to school somehow" I said trying to reassure myself "And I'm sure we're not going to die in this forest"
Then I heard the sound of medal on medal. I turned around slowly to see a wolf and a man with goat legs with a sword pointed at me. The wolf was showing his teeth but didn't need to if he wanted to look terrifying.
"You so sure about it now?" asked John scared. I just gulped.
This day just got a whole lot worse.
Mrs.Patterson was going on and on about what we needed to remember for our final exams. I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. Chem wasn't really my main focus because Julliards University was offering me a full scholarship for dance. I was mostly worried about the basics like Math and English.
Time was ticking by slower than ever. Everyone was bouncing in their chairs because they were excited for Prom this Friday.
I looked over at my lab partner. this semester, Mrs. Patterson decided she hated me and made me lad partners with the boy I hate, John Matthews. He was an average height guy with light brown hair gelled up. His eyes were hazel and had a couple of freckles. Overall, he was a pretty normal dude. Except for the fact that he's been my enemy since Gr.3 when he put pudding in my hair. I wasn't as mad about my hair than I was that he did it purposely just for laughs.
Ever since then he has been trying to ruin my day every chance he gets. Annoying me, embarrassing me, dissing me. he still calls me train tracks from when I had braces in middle school. You would think that he would mature by 12th grade. Guess not. My theory is that he was dropped on his head as a baby.
A sudden vibration in my back pocket brought me back down to earth. I got out my phone from my jean short shorts that my best friend Lisa cut last weekend. They used to be boot cut but while I went to go get my English essay from the printer downstairs, she found scissors and the jeans. I wore them today because it's one of the hottest days so far in our small town of Sudbury, Canada and I didn't have anything else.
Lisa has been my best friend since kindergarten when I shared my crayons with her at drawing time. We were two peas in a pod, almost joined at the hip. We were both fun-loving, curious, trouble-making girls.
I did envy her effortless beauty. Long blonde curls, clear blue eyes, flawless skin. Compared to my brown hair and eyes, I look dull next to her. And the pink streak in her hair doesn't help me at all.
She was mostly likely to win prom queen. Everyone liked her, she was the head cheerleader. I won't be surprised if her boyfriend-starting quarterback and captain of our schools football team- was prom king.
I looked up to make sure it was clear to check the text. Mrs.Patterson was writing on the board so I went ahead and read it
hope this rings.have fun in detention ;)
We always tried to get each other in detention. She usually always got me when I forget to turn my phone on vibrate but I was glad I didn't today. This day was already bad enough, I didn't want detention to make it worse.
I looked at her and smirked . I was glad she was in most of my classes this semester. That wasn't unlikely though. In our town, You graduate with the people you met in Jk. So in two weeks I will be leaving some of my closest friend like Naomi, Sarah and Gabby.Lisa and I have a plan, we're both moving to New York for school and sharing an apartment there.
But thankfully leaving people like John.
"Stop texting Train-tracks" Speak of the devil.
"Shut up John" I hissed replying to Lisa.
"I know you're texting your friends about how hot you think I am" he said in a sing-y voice
"You're delusional"
"Excuse me. Miss.Armstrong and Mr.Matthews, there is a class going on" said Mrs.Patterson
"He was talking to me" I accused
"But you have not listened for 1 minute in this class, So both of you to Mrs.Harper's office NOW!" She said pointing to the door. Mrs.Harper was our school principal.
So I had detention and it was with John, How could things get worse.
So we were walking down the hallway. I noticed a door that I've never seen before yet I've come down this hall everyday for the past 4 years.
"Why are you stopping?" asked John annoyed
"Have you seen this door before?" I asked. There was a little label that read Janitor's closet. But the Janitor's closet was in the west wing. Not near the main office.
"No, And who cares, it's just a Janitor's closet" he said continuing to walk.
"Com'on, don't you think it's a bit strange that neither of us has seen this door but we've been in this school 4 years. Don't you think we would have noticed it before?" i said "I want to take a look inside" I reached for the door and surprisingly in was unlocked. Inside, it was pitch black.
"You're stupid you know that" he said but I could see the curiosity in his face
"Shut up and help me find the light switch, or are you too scared." I teased. He grumbled something and came in with me and started looking. Suddenly, it wasn't wall that I was feeling, it was rock. There was a light up ahead so we followed that. When we were in the light. I could see now that we weren't in a Janitor's closet, We just came out of a cave and in the middle of some forest. And the door was gone.
"Um Emily, Where are we?" asked John scared
"No idea, but on the bright side, we don't have detention anymore" I said half heartily. He glared at me saying this wasn't the time for jokes. "Ok don't panic, I'm sure we'll get back to school somehow" I said trying to reassure myself "And I'm sure we're not going to die in this forest"
Then I heard the sound of medal on medal. I turned around slowly to see a wolf and a man with goat legs with a sword pointed at me. The wolf was showing his teeth but didn't need to if he wanted to look terrifying.
"You so sure about it now?" asked John scared. I just gulped.
This day just got a whole lot worse.



13 Comments
I honestly thought this was going to get better than my fanfic, but then I read one thing that countered that thought.
And what was that?
The time thing. It's actually number one in the 'don'ts' in the thelionscall. something I can't remember.
ohh at the beginning. Oh :/ but other than that, how do you like the story?
holy crap!!!! XD i luv it!!!!! u have to mak the nxt 1!!!!! XD
Thanks!
Could be better. In chapter two, by saying, "Anyone in two thousand eleven would be wearing this," you made it really obvious. Would a real life person say that? Plus you should always put a punctuation at the end of each dialogues, like I did when I quoted your sentence. And you should never, I repeat, never type out numbers. You should always spell it. Plus your dialogue is too much. You should cut some conversations and add some kind of verb. And cut it down in parenthesis.
I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the constructive critisime (I know the spelling is wrong) because you know when you ask someone what they think and they say "It's amazing." but you've already heard that from other people and you want the to say something negative so you can change whatever it is.
I really like it :)..I mean you could describe Emily a little better and all but yeah...
Thanks! ya i know, I always have trouble when it comes to describing people (especially the main character) because I see them in my head but then I forget that you have know idea what I'm thinking of
OH MY GOSH!!!!! THAT'S AN AWESOME STORY!!!!!! You should become an author, that's really good...WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!! I want to know the end!!!!! Please write some more!!!!
lovelovelove
Thanks! that really means a lot. I've always wanted to become an author so you saying that is really sweet!
Great!!! I can't wait to hear the next chapter!!!!! :D