DONT READ IF YOU LIKE TWILIGHT, READ IF YOU LIKE HARRY POTTER, BUT HATE TWILIGHT!
I got these things off of facebook, some of them make fun of twilight in some way, so if u like twilight, do not read. dont be mad at me if you read and you like twilight, i did warn you after all. these do not belong to me, they belong to whoever came up with them and put them on facebook. Hope you don't mind me commenting on some of them, can't help it though. Sorry, if you don't like it, don't do it to bug you, just do it to let you know how I feel bout certain ones, kk hope you understand!!!
Chapter 1
I dont know what to call the chapter, but you know whats in it, so here goes nothing...
by:
eaglewhisper
eaglewhisper
1) Who's hotter? Edward or Jacob? But where's the button saying "Neither, Draco all the way!"?
2) I want to see the Cullens transfer to Hogwarts. You just know they'll get OWNED in DADA
3) When everyone goes silent at a twilight premiere when they see Robert Patterson, I'll scream "WOO! GO CEDRIC DIGGORY!" and see what kind of response I get. ;)
4) Friend 1: "I'm team Edward!"
Friend 2: "Well, I'm team Jacob!"
Both: "What are you?"
Me: "I'm in Dumbledore's army."
5) HP vs Twilight; Harry;noble,brave,selfless vs. Bella:depressing,only cares about boys,life's dream is to become a bloodthirsty killer which do u like?
6) You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You say Cedric Diggory is Edward Cullen from Twilight, I stab you with a Basilisk Fang repeatedly until you get the idea.
7) What would you rather have your trademark be? a wicked awesome lighting scar or flesh-tearing fangs?
8) Without Harry Potter, the world would be a gloomy, depressing place. ahem FORKS WASHINGTON ahem
9) If a Twilight fan asks a HP fan what's wrong with Twilight they read an hour long list, If a HP fan asks a Twilight fan what's wrong with HP they'll say "Uhhh"
10) Snape: "For your detention today Mr.Potter you will be reading the worst book of all time- Twilight!". Harry: "I'D RATHER USE THE AVADA KEDAVRA CURSE ON MYSELF!" a comment by Cyclops_Scott_Summers: my personal favorite
11) Which would you rather watch? A movie about a selfless wizard or a movie about a girl who is always depressed about her vampire bf? GO HP!!!
12) Hmmm. Edward, a sparkly vampire. Or Harry Potter, the chosen one. Who should I pick?
13) Harry Potter = End of an Era.
Twilight = End of an Error
14) There is a reason avada kedavra is unforgivable it turns men into sparkly vampires! Cedric Digory exhibit A
15) If Edward Cullen and Harry Potter ever meet Edward: you can't kill me I'm a vampire! Harry: Oh yeah Avada Kadavra! Edward: Dead!
16) Harry Potter is a courageous, noble,wizard, and Edward is a sparkling vampire. Who is better. Do the math.
17) When you said, 'Alice should bite Bella', I imagined crazy Alice Longbottom launching herself at Bellatrix Lestrange
18) Roses are red. Violets are blue. Insult harry potter and I'll crucio you.
19) Twilight's main character couldn't last more then one year in Harry Potter. Take that twilight fans
20) Dear JKR, HOW DARE YOU KILL HEDWIG! she never did anything wrong, she can't even speak. The only thing she ever did was be Harry's first friend. That's wrong.
21) Its my birthday, but did Hagrid bring me a cake, give my evil cousin a pig tail, and take me to get an owl? No! :(
22) When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to chilling with Dumbledore
23) I fell off my bike last week and got a little scratched up. When people ask me what happened I am going to tell them Voldemort tried to kill me.
24) People actually ask if I'm obsessed with Harry Potter.
25) OK, I knew about Santa, but what do you mean Hogwarts isn't real!?
26) Umbridge: You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct? Snape: Yes. Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful? Snape: Obviously.
27) "When ever some thing happens why is it always you three?" "believe me professor I've been asking myself the same thing for three years."~ Ron and McGonnagall
28) Voldemort-Why do you live? Harry- Because I have something worth living for.
29) If I had my invisibility cloak and wand I wouldn't be stuck here with all you muggles!
30) OMG I got my letter from Hogwarts!! Peace out muggles! Another comment from Cyclops_Scott_Summers: heehee, lovin it
31) I'm not scared to admit that my 7th Harry Potter book is stained with tears from when Fred Weasley died
32) Team Edward? Team Jacob? Team Forks? Screw you all. TEAM HOGWARTS!
33) I waited for ten years, eleven months, thirty days, 12 hours and 26 minutes. then i finally had to admit i wasn't getting an acceptance letter from Hogwarts.
34) Hmm... Team Edward or team Jacob? Screw it I'm joining Dumbledore's Army
35) Just wondering how funny this is : Sirus's middle name is Lee. Sirus Lee Black. say that 3 times fast and try not to laugh ;}
36) Expelliarmous... The death of Voldemort!
37) If the last harry potter and twilight movies come out on the same day, the poor ticket lady will be running for her life.. MAKE WAY FOR THE FAN RIOT!
38) I'm so obsessed with Harry Potter that whenever I turn on a light i mutter "Lumos" under my breath.
39) I cried when Dumbledore died, I cried even harder when Dobby died, and now I am blubbering like a baby because Fred died. :P Why Fred why!?!
40) You know you're obsessed with Harry Potter when you see a White Stag tag at Wal-Mart and think, "Prongs!!"
41) I am a wizard!!! I just can't use underage magic in front of Muggles! Yet another comment from the mind of Cyclops_Scott_Summers: Me! Me! Me!
42) Ever wonder what happened to Fluffy after Book One? How does a giant 3 headed dog just disappear?
43) I wish that I had Hermione's endless bag!
44) Just know... if you see me running head first into a Wall DO NOT B ALARMED! I'm late for the Hogwarts train.
45) Team Jacob? no way! team Edward? ew gross! Dumbledore's Army? Heck yea!
46) I am one of the many people who secretly own a broom, because they believe magic is real and they someday hope to fly off to Hogwarts...
47) I am off to Hogwarts anyone care to join me?
48) As long as there are people loyal to Harry Potter, she will always live on. It's not the end, just a break
49) I AM NOT A MUGGLE!!! Either that or I'm in denial... Yet another comment from Cyclops_Scott_Summers, this one definetly describes me
more to come later, hope you enjoyed these, though because i thought they were hilarious
2) I want to see the Cullens transfer to Hogwarts. You just know they'll get OWNED in DADA
3) When everyone goes silent at a twilight premiere when they see Robert Patterson, I'll scream "WOO! GO CEDRIC DIGGORY!" and see what kind of response I get. ;)
4) Friend 1: "I'm team Edward!"
Friend 2: "Well, I'm team Jacob!"
Both: "What are you?"
Me: "I'm in Dumbledore's army."
5) HP vs Twilight; Harry;noble,brave,selfless vs. Bella:depressing,only cares about boys,life's dream is to become a bloodthirsty killer which do u like?
6) You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You say Cedric Diggory is Edward Cullen from Twilight, I stab you with a Basilisk Fang repeatedly until you get the idea.
7) What would you rather have your trademark be? a wicked awesome lighting scar or flesh-tearing fangs?
8) Without Harry Potter, the world would be a gloomy, depressing place. ahem FORKS WASHINGTON ahem
9) If a Twilight fan asks a HP fan what's wrong with Twilight they read an hour long list, If a HP fan asks a Twilight fan what's wrong with HP they'll say "Uhhh"
10) Snape: "For your detention today Mr.Potter you will be reading the worst book of all time- Twilight!". Harry: "I'D RATHER USE THE AVADA KEDAVRA CURSE ON MYSELF!" a comment by Cyclops_Scott_Summers: my personal favorite
11) Which would you rather watch? A movie about a selfless wizard or a movie about a girl who is always depressed about her vampire bf? GO HP!!!
12) Hmmm. Edward, a sparkly vampire. Or Harry Potter, the chosen one. Who should I pick?
13) Harry Potter = End of an Era.
Twilight = End of an Error
14) There is a reason avada kedavra is unforgivable it turns men into sparkly vampires! Cedric Digory exhibit A
15) If Edward Cullen and Harry Potter ever meet Edward: you can't kill me I'm a vampire! Harry: Oh yeah Avada Kadavra! Edward: Dead!
16) Harry Potter is a courageous, noble,wizard, and Edward is a sparkling vampire. Who is better. Do the math.
17) When you said, 'Alice should bite Bella', I imagined crazy Alice Longbottom launching herself at Bellatrix Lestrange
18) Roses are red. Violets are blue. Insult harry potter and I'll crucio you.
19) Twilight's main character couldn't last more then one year in Harry Potter. Take that twilight fans
20) Dear JKR, HOW DARE YOU KILL HEDWIG! she never did anything wrong, she can't even speak. The only thing she ever did was be Harry's first friend. That's wrong.
21) Its my birthday, but did Hagrid bring me a cake, give my evil cousin a pig tail, and take me to get an owl? No! :(
22) When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to chilling with Dumbledore
23) I fell off my bike last week and got a little scratched up. When people ask me what happened I am going to tell them Voldemort tried to kill me.
24) People actually ask if I'm obsessed with Harry Potter.
25) OK, I knew about Santa, but what do you mean Hogwarts isn't real!?
26) Umbridge: You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct? Snape: Yes. Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful? Snape: Obviously.
27) "When ever some thing happens why is it always you three?" "believe me professor I've been asking myself the same thing for three years."~ Ron and McGonnagall
28) Voldemort-Why do you live? Harry- Because I have something worth living for.
29) If I had my invisibility cloak and wand I wouldn't be stuck here with all you muggles!
30) OMG I got my letter from Hogwarts!! Peace out muggles! Another comment from Cyclops_Scott_Summers: heehee, lovin it
31) I'm not scared to admit that my 7th Harry Potter book is stained with tears from when Fred Weasley died
32) Team Edward? Team Jacob? Team Forks? Screw you all. TEAM HOGWARTS!
33) I waited for ten years, eleven months, thirty days, 12 hours and 26 minutes. then i finally had to admit i wasn't getting an acceptance letter from Hogwarts.
34) Hmm... Team Edward or team Jacob? Screw it I'm joining Dumbledore's Army
35) Just wondering how funny this is : Sirus's middle name is Lee. Sirus Lee Black. say that 3 times fast and try not to laugh ;}
36) Expelliarmous... The death of Voldemort!
37) If the last harry potter and twilight movies come out on the same day, the poor ticket lady will be running for her life.. MAKE WAY FOR THE FAN RIOT!
38) I'm so obsessed with Harry Potter that whenever I turn on a light i mutter "Lumos" under my breath.
39) I cried when Dumbledore died, I cried even harder when Dobby died, and now I am blubbering like a baby because Fred died. :P Why Fred why!?!
40) You know you're obsessed with Harry Potter when you see a White Stag tag at Wal-Mart and think, "Prongs!!"
41) I am a wizard!!! I just can't use underage magic in front of Muggles! Yet another comment from the mind of Cyclops_Scott_Summers: Me! Me! Me!
42) Ever wonder what happened to Fluffy after Book One? How does a giant 3 headed dog just disappear?
43) I wish that I had Hermione's endless bag!
44) Just know... if you see me running head first into a Wall DO NOT B ALARMED! I'm late for the Hogwarts train.
45) Team Jacob? no way! team Edward? ew gross! Dumbledore's Army? Heck yea!
46) I am one of the many people who secretly own a broom, because they believe magic is real and they someday hope to fly off to Hogwarts...
47) I am off to Hogwarts anyone care to join me?
48) As long as there are people loyal to Harry Potter, she will always live on. It's not the end, just a break
49) I AM NOT A MUGGLE!!! Either that or I'm in denial... Yet another comment from Cyclops_Scott_Summers, this one definetly describes me
more to come later, hope you enjoyed these, though because i thought they were hilarious
14 Comments
its pretty funny, i like it
Love it, I'm going to make a list like that now
FUNNY! Yeah Obviously HP!
Hi
hate it!!! lol i know it said dont read if you like twilight but i couldnt help myself. how DARE you!!! hahaha this was against all goodness.... ok it was funny but to tell you the truth, im a vampire im obsessed with twilight and i'd rather have flesh tearing fangs tan a tinny liitle scar on my forehead (but yes i do like harry potter too, but not as much).
nice, thats really funny, i like it alot, its really funny heehee, i like twilight, which i no is weird cuz im a guy and all, but i still like harry potter better
lolz awesome
lolz awesome
these are funny heheh
I like twilight alot But honestly I had to see what you were saying and I couldnt help but laugh at this because I also like harry potter so i needed to see