Pain In The Form Of Love (An Original Story )
Name:Missy Woods
Hair:Dark brown,Wavy
Eyes:One blue the other green
Build:Curvy
Age:15
Family:(Mum)Sarah Harris(38),(little sister) Kiana Woods(9),(Dog)Morten(3).
I hope you like this story please can you give 2 positive things and one thing I can improve on! Frankie :)
"Hi everybody I'm Jeremy I am you're new councillor.Now I understand that someone else is new!"He looked around and saw me.I stood up and sighed."My name is Missy Woods yes I have creepy eyes,I don't have many friends 3 to be precise but that wasn't why I tried to commit suicide 24 hours ago."And so I settled into the story of why I tried to kill myself.
3 Months Before
I woke up on a normal Monday morning except it wasn't normal it was the first day of my new school St Alexander's Academic High School Yeah it was an okay school I guess.I groaned it was 6:00 I never get up that early not even in Juinior school when I was Polly perfect.I knew I was gonna get teased I mean my eyes are the biggest problem they are I guess different colours but why should that change anything I mean I'm normal other than that I guess. Anyways I pulled myself up out of bed and yawned.I opened the door and nearly tripped over my dog Morten who was asleep on the floor outside my room,I lightly stepped over him and ran to the bathroom sighing I took of my Pyjama's and stepped in the shower.After 15 minutes I was out and wrapping myself in a towel I walked down the hall and into my room.All in the space of 25 minutes I had dried my hair,styled it,put on some make up,painted my nails navy and I choose my outfit a black tank-top,a pair of light blue jeans,a white and navy hollister jacket and navy converse.Suddenly there was a patter of feet from outside my room.
"Missy can I come in?Please!"I groaned as I opened the door for my little sister.
"What!"I snarled at her.
"I'm nervous."She whispered to me.My tone lightened.
"Why Kiana?"She shrugged.
"I miss Daddy."I sighed.(My dad had left 4 weeks ago for my Auntie,Linny Harris.)I bent down and gave my sister a hug she cried in my arms.I held her at arms length.
"Pull yourself together Kiana he's gone but you've got me,Mum and Morten."She nodded.
"Your right."She wiped her eyes and left my room.I made up my bed and left my room.I bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen where Kiana and my mum were having breakfast.
"Pancakes sweetie?"I nodded and sat at the breakfast bar next to Kiana.My mum passed me my pancakes."Thanks."She smiled and started to sing.Kiana giggled as my mum boogied in front of the window.I grimaced and poured more Syrup on my pancakes.I gave a weak smile as I noticed the usula sparkle in my mum's eyes were gone...
TBC
3 Months Before
I woke up on a normal Monday morning except it wasn't normal it was the first day of my new school St Alexander's Academic High School Yeah it was an okay school I guess.I groaned it was 6:00 I never get up that early not even in Juinior school when I was Polly perfect.I knew I was gonna get teased I mean my eyes are the biggest problem they are I guess different colours but why should that change anything I mean I'm normal other than that I guess. Anyways I pulled myself up out of bed and yawned.I opened the door and nearly tripped over my dog Morten who was asleep on the floor outside my room,I lightly stepped over him and ran to the bathroom sighing I took of my Pyjama's and stepped in the shower.After 15 minutes I was out and wrapping myself in a towel I walked down the hall and into my room.All in the space of 25 minutes I had dried my hair,styled it,put on some make up,painted my nails navy and I choose my outfit a black tank-top,a pair of light blue jeans,a white and navy hollister jacket and navy converse.Suddenly there was a patter of feet from outside my room.
"Missy can I come in?Please!"I groaned as I opened the door for my little sister.
"What!"I snarled at her.
"I'm nervous."She whispered to me.My tone lightened.
"Why Kiana?"She shrugged.
"I miss Daddy."I sighed.(My dad had left 4 weeks ago for my Auntie,Linny Harris.)I bent down and gave my sister a hug she cried in my arms.I held her at arms length.
"Pull yourself together Kiana he's gone but you've got me,Mum and Morten."She nodded.
"Your right."She wiped her eyes and left my room.I made up my bed and left my room.I bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen where Kiana and my mum were having breakfast.
"Pancakes sweetie?"I nodded and sat at the breakfast bar next to Kiana.My mum passed me my pancakes."Thanks."She smiled and started to sing.Kiana giggled as my mum boogied in front of the window.I grimaced and poured more Syrup on my pancakes.I gave a weak smile as I noticed the usula sparkle in my mum's eyes were gone...
TBC
9 Comments
Wonderful!
Positive: It really drew me in, and the grammar is excellent!
Negative: Period and spaces... :P
Please continue! I love it! Poor girl...
awesome! please write more!!! :D
will do :)
This is great, you are a great writer, please continue. You are so much better at this than I am
No way amI better Im rubbish but i enjoy writing so I'm gonna write :)
Very good!:) I love how you started it off, and i love the main character. The only negative thing i have to say is you should make it easier to read. Like spaces and periods and check the spelling. Other than that it's really good;) Check out my two love storys, if you want and leave a comment!:)
Good I like it the intro is a little striaght forward but it probably just seemed that way I will read it again you really are a awesome writer
Really really good! add more! i will be a regular reader, i swear!
I really like this story=) Next please?