I just realized I'm going to die alone. Cheers then.
I'm going to die old (or young), lonely, and all by myself.
Really, I am.
Why? How have I realized the truth that you probably knew all along?
Blame the song "Sleeping At Last." By Turning Pages. I was (and still am) listening to it. It's a love song, and you can tell the dude singing it is compleatly in love with this girl. It's a really good song.
But while I was listening, a really odd thing happended. I realized that no one's going to love me like that. Correction, no one's going to love me period.Why?
Because I'm a screw up. A major screw up. I've lied to everyone I've ever meet. I'm ugly. I'm a mess, inside and out. My own family hates me. Most of my friends outside of Quibblo laugh at me to my face daily. So what ever made me think anyone's going to even like me? I always knew that I had a weird self image, and people think that I have low self-esteem. But they're wrong. I was infalteing my own head. So what do I have left? Some lies, some truths, and a website that I'm not even supposed to be on. But if I quit, I'll get so overwelemed by how many people hate me I'd kill myself.
And don't say that my family doesn't hate me, and that my friends outside of Quibblo like me. Because if you think that, you don't know shit. They all are super nice to me, and then as soon as I walk away, they laugh at me. I've heard them, I've seen them do that.
And if my own family doens't love me, what makes me think anyone else will?
Really, I am.
Why? How have I realized the truth that you probably knew all along?
Blame the song "Sleeping At Last." By Turning Pages. I was (and still am) listening to it. It's a love song, and you can tell the dude singing it is compleatly in love with this girl. It's a really good song.
But while I was listening, a really odd thing happended. I realized that no one's going to love me like that. Correction, no one's going to love me period.Why?
Because I'm a screw up. A major screw up. I've lied to everyone I've ever meet. I'm ugly. I'm a mess, inside and out. My own family hates me. Most of my friends outside of Quibblo laugh at me to my face daily. So what ever made me think anyone's going to even like me? I always knew that I had a weird self image, and people think that I have low self-esteem. But they're wrong. I was infalteing my own head. So what do I have left? Some lies, some truths, and a website that I'm not even supposed to be on. But if I quit, I'll get so overwelemed by how many people hate me I'd kill myself.
And don't say that my family doesn't hate me, and that my friends outside of Quibblo like me. Because if you think that, you don't know shit. They all are super nice to me, and then as soon as I walk away, they laugh at me. I've heard them, I've seen them do that.
And if my own family doens't love me, what makes me think anyone else will?
21 Comments
Annemarie-
I can't say that's not true. How would I know? If what you say is true, then I'd be a liar.
What I do know, and can say, is that you are beautiful, inside and out. I can't imagine what kind of person wouldn't love you. And girl, I think you need to make some new friends. You are talented, funny, and kind, and you just don't deserve the type of "friends" who laugh at you when they think you're not looking.
Lastly, you need some Starkid rehab. Go watch "Not Alone."
Technically, everyone dies alone, but I know how you feel. Many... not so great things have happened to me, and I'm not going to announce them any time soon. But, well, yeah. I'm done.
Rachel out. (not permanantly)
AnneMarie, I can believe you that your life outside of Quibblo is true. My life is pretty similar to that, actually.
But. One day you will find someone who will love you just for who you are. You might not believe me now, but one day (perhaps not any time soon, perhaps soon) someone will love you.
I'm an example. I love you as my friend for who you are. I don't care about your screw-ups: EVERYONE has those times. I don't care.
You are a new person. Any day you want, you can start again.
Remember: You are an innocent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U91APsRxlug
This song is something that I listen to all the time. It may seem depressing at first, but if you REALLY listen to the lyrics, you'll feel the song and want to start anew.
And it can be done. I've started anew myself. I used to be unsociable, unpopular, but I made an effort to be truthful and friendly. Now it is better.
I'm here if you need to talk. xxx
Okay, AnneMarie. You are beautiful, if people can't see how great you are that's their loss. Dying alone happens to everyone. Why? because when you die it happens when no one knows for awhile... And when they find out they regret it and wish they were there to save you. I have had MAJOR screw ups in my life and I still do but I don't hold that against anyone and I won't hold that against you. I think that you are a strong person for being able to admit it
No you won't. You are a good person. You'll find someone someday if you want to and I'm sure they will love you a lot. :)
AnnieMarie,
You have a great life, with great friends, You are still young so you don't know you will die alone. I bet my life's worth you will not die alone. Of you have friends here that easily then you can find the perfect man in you life. Don't starts putting yourself down about this now. People do care. Don't forget it :) .
Dear Annemarie,
Think of it this way. Well firstly, for me, I don't if what you say is true. But think of this, "One day I will go to a good college faraway if
I keep my grades up. It doesn't sound like much, but trust me. Going to college means you get to start over, because no one knows you there. Dream
Of that one day were YOU get to move on and YOU are the best you think of yourself.
Stay Beatifuk(YOU could never lose your beauty, inside and out.)
S A B R I N A
I personally cant say that I know u and that what (is or) isnt true but you cant please everyone your gonna be horrific to someone and beautiful to someone else but you gotta learn to love yourself first oh and listen to less depressing songs, not to happy though....
Annemarie,
You are awesome! You are NOT a screw up, everyone has lied! Remember, nothing is worth taking your life over. Especially right now, if you're on you period. It's a really sucktastic time- you feel over emotional, you want to punch and or cry if anyone says anything mean to you. Don't forget, high school is a time to start over. You meet lots of new people and make new friends. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. :)
I feel tht same way about my self