Beautiful Hearts

All of the sudden, everything had fallen apart. It had happened so fast, and somehow it didnˇ¦t even make sense. And the worst part? Once that tragedy had happened, many more tragedies, of course, had to happen too. Quickly, everything disappeared.
But I tried not to let it bother me. I decided it'd be best to hide every one thing that went wrong, and I made sure not to tell anyone about it. No one would care anyways. What's the point of fake sympathy? There was only one thing I would allow myself to cry about in public. Only one thing Iwould allow myself to get the sympathy for. As soon as I let the tears flow, all the other horrors that went on triggered in my mind, and for that they made fun of you even more. If there was one thing I never cared about all that much, it was the way people thought of me. I'm are in love with the Beatles! They had taught me to be myself more than anyone in the world! And now he's gone, and I really am being myself, with all the tortures that come with it. But now, when people poke fun...well now it really hurts. It's just like adding the feather onto to the loaded pile, and watching it all fall through.
I didn't go to school April 6th, 2013. Matter of fact, I made it look like I did. I brought my bag out the door that early, chilly morning. I had my parents fooled. Instead,i waited until my parents were gone at work. Once they were gone, I ran back inside, and cried and cried and cried and cried. He meant the world to me. He was my everything. And now...he was gone. The only one thing that ever crossed my mind that day?
R.I.P Paul McCartney. June 18th 1942-April 6th 2013. He was gone.
No, I never got to see him in concert. No I never got to meet him, and tell him how much I appreciated him. No, I never saw it coming. I knew he was going to die sooner or later, it was expected. Everyone expected it! However, somewhere in our minds we all believed he was...immortal or somewhat forever youthful . Then it hits you when you aren't looking.

But Paul's not the only one who dies, not long after, a freak accident occurs, and my (Favorite relative, that's not your sibling or parent) dies as well. This person had not only meant so much to me, but it was a killer for my parents. Especially my dad.
And my best friend, the only really good friend I have? Well, they're gone now. Just moved not too long ago. The only friend I could really ever trust, isn't with me anymore. Phone calls cant fix a thing this time.

And at school, everyone had hissed at me, yelling out all this rubbish.
"Stop caring" He was old and washed out, it was time for him to go, get over it" Not only would that remind me of Paul, but it reminded me of my lost relative. That wasn't ok.
"Why are you so obsessed with a dead man? You're gonna have to get over it soon, his friends gonna go too!"
"Stop being stuck in the past!"
"What do you think about your husband now? Haha."

I can imagine all the horror stories that had went on at school. All the things that made me grudge over. When I wanted to go to my dad for help, he wouldnˇ¦t listen. He had enough on his plate as it is. He travels almost three hours a day to go to and from work. He is never in the mood when he comes home. My mom? Well, she listens, or so she tries, but she never really understands.

One night, I'm sitting outside while my parents are gone. Its warm out, and the humidity Makes me skin sweat. I can't help but cry. It was the perfect time to cry for no one. At this time, everything reminded me of something sad. I wasn't used to it, I was one of the happiest people that could have been. I have my IPod with me, and I'm listening to "You've got a friend,"¨ By James Taylor. One of my recent favorite songs.
"It's so stupid!" I continue to sob. "Everyone always says they're going to run to me when I need them! Well, where the hell are they?" I cry some more and throw my hands on my face, hunched over.
"I'm right here, luv,"¨ a hauntingly, familiar voice hums out to me
Slowly, I look up, expecting to see a face. However, no one is around me. A dream. Your mind is playing tricks on you, I think.
"What's the matter, sweetie?"¨
I smile for the first time in a long time.
"Tell me hun, what's wrong?"
"Everything!" I answer, and once I look back on it all, the tears begin to drip again.
"Everything, eh? That carn't be good, huh? How can I be of help?" The voice asks again.
Wait a minute here...
"Paul? Paul is that you?ˇ" I ask nervously.
"Yes. Yes, it's me," he answers softly. His voice so sweet and light.
"Where are you?"
A finger taps my shoulder lightly, and I jolt around faster then I ever had done before. And it really wasn't a dream. He was there. Who was there? Paul. Paul McCartney.
I rubbed my eyes of all the tears, wondering if this could really be true! I smiled again, and the weirdest thing was, I didn't have the urge to jump on him, like I thought I would have. I didn't freak out like the fan I was. Him being there, with me, on this warm night, had seemed so natural. His being, was just so right.
"I'm so glad you came, Paul. I missed you!"
Instantly, Paul seemed like an old friend. He seemed to be just some guy that I had known for years.
"I missed you too, (your name.) I'm glad I found you."
He knew my name. It made so much sense to know his name, he was Paul McCartney. But he knew my name! And that..was perfectly fine .
"You're young again!"You smile. He was what he looked like in 1964. 21...22.
"Sure am, Babe. Glad you noticed," he winked. "I seemed to have restored my youthful body again, once I died."
My smile had dimmed down. He was right, he was dead.
"But...how is it that you're here? You're.." I choke up, "dead."
"Well, I'm not really here, you know. It's all in the mind, you see," he taps his head.
"I'm Lucid dreaming? What's going on?!" I ask in worry.
"Shh, sh," he whispers into my ear. He tucks his hand in my hair, and lets his fingers tangle in it. "No, no dear. You're completely awake. I promise."
Instantly I cool down, and smile. His hands in my hair make me blush. Suddenly, the Paul McCartney crush hits me.
"Your thoughts have just allowed for you to see and hear me now. That's all."
"I've never done that before," I realize. "Where'd the gift come from? Am I going to be able to see you again?" I freak out.
"Cool down, hun. You know you can see and hear the person you love most when they're gone from the world, right?"
"No, I didn't know that. No one would unless they're true love has died." I look at the grass below me and begin to tear it out. "Im not the only one who loves you, Paul. Millions of girls do."
"I know. But you are the only one that I knew would have faith in such a process. Not every gal can just have me pop in front of them, you see. That would be...different," He crinkles his nose. "I feel like I've known you, (your name). I can just tell you need me the most."
"Somehow it still doesn't make sense," I tell him. I throw the grass back on the ground and look up at him. His warm hazel eyes stare into mine, as I see my future lie within his soul. His shaggy, dark brown mop top hair blows in the wind. His baby face smile heats up my body like no other thing has ever done before. "You're a life saver," I realize after staring at his beauty.
Paul smiles at me, and pulls out a box of ciggies. He fiddles it in his hand and lights it up.
"That's how George died, you know," I mention to him with a smirk. He giggles in response.
"Well I'm already dead, though, aren't I?" He takes a puff, and thankfully I can't smell a thing. Somehow, I can feel the warmth of the cig around me. "So, luv," he starts while pulling out the cig and blowing out the "smoke"¨. "What seems to be the problem?"
His accent is so fresh and he is so irresistible looking. I lean up against him, knowing he wouldn't mind.
"I lost my (that relative). I Lost my best friend. I Lost you. I lost the happiness and the joined togetherness of my family. I keep losing everything that's actually important to me, and the cycle hasn't stopped just yet. Worst of all, I'm basically being made fun at, at school, because of it."
"People poke at you for your losses? What kinda cruel world do we live in?" He questions in shock, and then smirks. "Well, used to live in. Well at least, I don't anymore, you see. But you do, therefore.." Paul tries to fix up his mistake but I just put my hand over his mouth. We both giggle.
"I don't tell them about my losses. You were the only one person I felt safe talking about. But since then, people have been eating me alieve!"
Paul does his cute, curious, suspicious face.
"Don't worry, Babe. I'm ere for you now. I promise I won't let these rats do you any harm."
I smile at him again; almost impossible not to.
"How can such a figment of my imagination be so beautiful?" I daze off.
"Sweetie, it's cause you are beautiful. Beautiful minds see beautiful things, you know?"
"You're right," I agree. "I'm not one to doubt my imagination, but will you always seem so real and familiar?"
"That's up to you, I 'spose. I can be 'ere for you whenever yah need me. I've got all the time in the world, yah see? Matter a factly, call me up all the time. Keep me busy," Paul winks.
"I never got to see you live before you died, Paul. Can you do me the biggest favor ever and sing me a song?"
"Any song you want,"¨ he grins.

Paul and I chat and sing in the grass for a couple of hours or so. I lay against him as he hums and twirls his fingers in my hair. It's a dream come true. The two of us gaze at the stars and admire the beauty of the world, something I've always wished to do.
"Paul?"
"Yes?"
"Did you run into Linda yet?"
"I'm with her right now."
My face turns red and I get really nervous and somehow let down. Confusion hits me faster then the speed of light.
"But...you're with me right now."¨
"Oh (your name)," he chuckles. "How many times must I remind you? I lie within your head. Whenever you need me, I'll already be watching you."
"So you really only are my imagination? Why couldn't I do this before you died?"
"Because my soul still belonged to my body. When I died, my soul shattered into small pieces into the minds of all my fans all over the world. The biggest piece, however, went to you. My heart just chose you, I guess."
"OH! So you can be in heaven with your real self, but you can also be with your fans because pieces of your soul are lingering within us?" It was hard to make sense of, but I went with it.
"Yes. You are the only one in the world who can both see and hear me."
"It's an honor,"I smile. I glance at my watch. It was getting late. "You officially cheered me up, Paul. More than you can imagine. Sadly, I have to get going home. Will I see you soon?"
"In your dreams tonight, you can be assured to see me. I'll be there."
And so Paul disappeared into the night. I grin once more.
"Goodnight."