What kind of troll queen are you?

19 Responses | Created by DraikJack

Celestia, eternal monarch of Equestria, has many, many faces. There's the loveable, kind princess that the most naive of people recognise, but deep down there's a relentless tyrant, a sodomising witch and, as we all know, a fun-loving troll.
But which one are you?

1

Your younger sister, Luna, and yourself have beaten the villain Discord and imprisoned him in stone. You know that disharmonious activity around him will break him free. What do you do with him?
- Put him on display in the castle sculpture garden.
- Take full advantage of the long, slender, phallus-like shapes protruding from the stone.
- Take over the neighbouring town of Trottingham and erect him in the town square to remind your citizens of your power.
- Muffins!
- Keep him hidden away from any possible interference and make sure nopony comes anywhere near his body.
2

Your younger sister feels unappreciated because all the ponies sleep during her beautiful night. What do you do to comfort her?
- Rage war on the ponies until they learn to appreciate Luna's hard work.
- Comfort her and remind her of all the pony jobs that require sleep during the day.
- Derp.
- You 'do' her, of course!
- Taunt and ignore her until she becomes so angry that she tranforms into a completely new pony.
3

Nightmare Moon, previously known as Luna, refuses to lower the moon. What do you do to stop her?
- Something dirty.
- Band together to become an unstoppable force, and then ravage the land below to your liking.
- Use the Elements of Harmony, which you know full-well can be used to turn her back into Luna, banish her to the moon for a thousand years and then take control of said moon.
- Herp.
- Use the Elements of Harmony, or even a simple memory spell to remind Nightmare Moon that all the ponies love her.
4

Luna has been banished and you have taken control of the sun and moon. What do you do next?
- Use your best efforts to prepare for Nightmare Moon's impending release, creating a scenario that will free Luna as quickly as possible.
- Throw an orgy in celebration.
- E=mc2
- Create a yearly holiday celebrating her evil.
- Free Discord so you'll have somebody to battle against.
5

You know that the thousand year sentence is about to end and that Nightmare Moon will be free soon. What do you do to prepare?
- Warn the ponies of her impending release and collect the Elements of Harmony together in order to free Luna from her evil.
- Leave a young unicorn a series of cryptic clues, relocate her to Ponyville and disappear, hoping she'll be able to take care of it for you.
- Train your army, wipe out a small town and use its burning grounds to wage war on Nightmare Moon.
- Muffins!
- Something even more dirty.
6

Luna has been freed from her evil incarnate by the power of friendship. What do you do to the sister you haven't seen in a thousand years?
- BUBBLES!
- Force her to apologise to you.
- Banish her again.
- Apologise for what you had done to her and promise that you'll never neglect her again.
- Have a little 'fun' with her.
7

You want to thank Twilight Sparkle for defeating Nightmare Moon without any help needed from you. How do you do this?
- Send her two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, knowing full-well that she has five friends, not counting Spike.
- By whipping her into submission then teaching her the fine art of molestation.
- Destroy her as she has gained far too much power.
- Throw a party in her honour, have her and her friends guests of honour at the Grand Galloping Gala and keep in touch with them regularly.
- Herp!
8

A dragon has decided to roost in Equestria, threatening to blanket the land in smoke from his snoring. How do you get rid of him?
- Go to him yourself, knowing that as ruler of the land you'll be able to convince him to relocate.
- Force Twilight and her random group of friends to go and speak with it.
- Molest him until he goes away.
- Send the sun crashing down onto the mountain in which he sleeps, destroying the lands around you.
- Muffins are fun!
9

Parasprites are threatening Fillydelphia and you won't be able to attend a party Twilight is throwing in your honour. What do you do?
- Burn both Fillydephia and Ponyville to the ground because you don't want to leave the castle today.
- Take Twilight to Fillydelphia with you, using her horn as a place to sit on the ride over there.
- Go to Ponyville anyway just to tell Twilight you're not avaliable. And then assume the hoards of Parasprites Pinkie Pie is corralling away is a parade dedicated to you.
- Send a letter to Twilight via Spike apologising profusely, and then hurry to Fillydelphia to stop the Parasprites as soon as possible.
- Ffr=μFN
10

The time has come to welcome spring, and all things warm and green. As the seasons do not change on their own anymore on account of your meddling with the sun, how do you accomplish this?
- Use your unicorn powers to effortlessly and easily remove the remnants of winter from the land.
- Go north to find the southern birds, silly!
- Something also dirty.
- Create a holiday forcing Earth Ponies and Pegasi to do back-breaking work to remove winter, banning any use of magic.
- Use the raw force of the sun to melt the snow, burning any unfortunate pony along with it in a haze of heat and destruction.
11

Gaining a cutie mark is an exciting time for young ponies, but for those who haven't found their special talents yet, this time can be embarassing. How do you deal with this?
- Lock the markless in your dungeon and teach them the values of humility via hourly bowel excretion over their cells.
- Derp!
- Throw a compulsory party celebrating cutie marks whenever a pony gets their mark, further ostracising and embarassing the mark-less in the process.
- Eradicate ponies above a certain age without a cutie mark, as they are weak and you want strong genetics for your new generation.
- Empathise with mark-less ponies, explaining to them the process as to how ponies get their marks and host parties for the blank flanks where you do a series of activities that may trigger somepony's mark.
12

The week each of spring and summer are over, and it's time for autumn again. How do you remove the leaves from the trees?
- Hump them vigorously until they fall off.
- Create another annual holiday celebrating cut-throat competitive racing.
- Use your unicorn magic to remove the leaves, collect them together and host a pool party with leaves instead of water.
- Burn the trees, burn them ALL.
- In any right angled triangle, the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares of the sides who meet at a right angle.
13

It's time to Twilight's weekly letter, but you want to surprise her this time. How do you do this?
- Invite her and her friends to Canterlot for the week, where she will be able to talk to you in person instead of sending you a letter.
- MUFFINS.
- Fly straight into Twilight's house, crushing the balcony while you're at it.
- Send her the severed head of Luna, whose absense thus far has started to confuse ponies everywhere.
- Surprise butt fun, of course!
14

You decide to host a Best Young Fliers Competition, celebrating the beauty of flight and competition. You have a list of ponies competing. How do you structure the event?
- Allow enough time for everypony to perform bar one.
- Have your army destroy everypony present, ensuring that you are the only pony left with the gift of flight.
- Force the loser to spend the rest of eternity in your love dungeon. Oh, and also the winner.
- Allow adequite time for everypony for perform, congratulate them all and have no real winner.
- DERP DERP DERP.
15

Rarity is performing in the Best Young Fliers Competition, sporting a beautiful pair of new wings. How do you recognise her new look?
- Use your power over the sun to burn her wings, there are to be no Alicorns except yourself! Oh, and Luna, I guess...
- Destroy her, DESTROY THEM ALL.
- Invite her to the castle after the event to personally congratulate her on her new wings.
- Lock her in the dungeon. She needs to be taught a lesson...
- Mail!
16

Rarity's wings have been burnt to a crisp and she has knocked out the Wonderbolts, her only chance of survival. What do you do?
- Derp.
- Sit back doing nothing. It was her fault for thinking she could have both wings and a horn in the first place.
- Save her. Having another pony forever in your debt will give you one more prisoner to play with.
- Force all the other ponies to go down after her, crush their wings and watch them fall to their deaths.
- Use your wings, the largest and most powerful in the land, to rescue Rarity and the Wonderbolts.
17

Twilight has arranged another party in your honour. What do you bring with you?
- Your sword, trembling eagerly for the taste of pony blood.
- Your dying bird, of course!
- Your collection of pony phalluses. You never know when they might come in handy!
- MUFFINS!!!
- Something nice for Twilight as a thankyou for hosting such a beautiful party.
18

Fluttershy, a well-known animal lover, is enquiring about Philomena, your phoenix. What do you tell her?
- Nothing, you lock her in your love dungeon for talking to you.
- Make up a story about how much you love animals, well-aware of how sick Philomena looks. Also, don't tell Fluttershy that she's a phoenix and it's normal to look that awful.
- Tell her about the time you ate Starswirl the Bearded to teach your minions that knowledge equals death.
- T2∝R3
- Explain to Fluttershy that Philomena is a phoenix, and that she looks bad because she is about to be reborn.
19

Twilight is a filly and has just cracked open a dragon egg using her magic. What do you do with the newly hatched baby dragon?
- DERP DERP DERP.
- Return it to its mother, apologising for taking it in the first place.
- BURN IT.
- Train it to fetch you your latest victims.
- Force Twilight to adopt it as its mother, knowing full-well that a young filly knows nothing about either dragons or motherhood.
20

It's finally time for the Grand Galloping Gala, and Twilight and her friends begin an impromptu musical number. How do you prepare for the night?
- Spend what little time you have to get dressed jumping through the clouds.
- Change into your dress and then double-check the festivities
- Herp?
- Relieve yourself on a lucky prisoner.
- Destroy a neighbouring city for the fun of it.
21

The Gala has begun, the most regal and elegant event of the season. How do you, as the ruler of Equestria, make your debut?
- Put on your dress and greet all the ponies.
- Muffin!
- Show up naked.
- Destroy the castle, crushing the aristocratic class under the rubble.
- With a small pony lodged firmly on your horn, its screams of terror and delight drowning out the crowds.
22

You have promised Twilight time to talk all about magic and what she's learned and seen, but guests keep arriving. What do you do?
- Something degrading and embarassing, probably.
- Greet the remainder of the guests and talk with Twilight.
- Use your unicorn magic to somehow move all of the ponies you have previously greeted back into the line of ponies waiting to be greeted. Twilight can wait.
- Herp derp?
- Crush the guests under your mighty hooves, and Twilight as well.
23

Pinkie Pie has dived into Applejack, sending a cake flying into Rarity who knocked Blueblood into a statue that Rainbow Dash catches and uses to destroy the castle. What do you do??
- Use your unicorn magic to calm the animals running rampant and restore the castle to what it was like pre-Gala.
- TO THE LOVE DUNGEON!
- Leave the Gala, aware that your castle is crumbling around you and there are ponies still inside. Go and get donuts with the gals instead.
- Mail?
- Let the crubling walls of the castle crush the ponies around you and laugh in glee at the death and destruction.
24

Twilight and her friends apologise for ruining the Gala. How do you respond?
- "FUS RO DAH!"
- "Oh that's okay, I only invited you country bumpkins because I know that everywhere yo go disaster befalls and I wanted to make the Gala interesting for once!"
- "That's it girls, to the dungeon!"
- "That's perfectly all right girls, I can fix it all completely and with very little effort. Want a donut?"
- "Muffins!"
25

Discord has broken free from his stone prison after a field trip full of primarily young fillies had an argument in front of him. What are the odds of a pre-teen girl fight? Anyway, what do you do?
- Being the only pony whose power exceeds Discords, you help Twilight and her friends find the Elements of Harmony and stop Discord.
- What you should have done YEARS ago. Gotten together with Discord. Physically.
- Kick back in the Castle and let the girls handle it. Again.
- Derp derp derp derp derp?
- Burn stuff with the armies and stuff.
26

Twilight has gone full Cupcakes on everypony and has basically destroyed all of Ponyville on a rampage to find something to write to you about. How do you punish her?
- With a leather mask and a whip.
- Banish her to the moon! Or, better yet, the sun!
- You don't punish her, and instead apologise for misleading her to think that she had to send a letter once a week.
- No more muffins!
- Punish her friends instead, forcing them to also write about their problems to you.
27

has it really been a year since Luna's return? Anyway, how have you educated your sister about this new world she's living in?
- With a leather mask and a whip, of course!
- You haven't! It's much more fun allowing her to think it's still a thousand years ago.
- You've taught her that nopony uses the TRADITIONAL ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE anymore, updated the way she structures her sentences and slowly merged her back into society so the ponies grow accustomed to her.
- With a herp herp here and a derp derp there, here a herp, there a derp, everywhere a herp derp.
- You haven't, you banished her to the moon again. This New Luna Republic cult is getting too powerful.
28

It's Nightmare Night, the one night of the year that could easily confuse and scare your sister into thinking nopony likes her. What do you do with Luna to ensure her feelings aren't hurt?
- Send her to Ponyville in a Gothic chariot, reminding her that it is important for PRINCESSES TO USE THE TRADITIONAL ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE.
- Muffins!
- Lock her in the love dungeon. Her hair's far too pretty not to defecate on.
- Gently tell her that you had started a holiday whereby ponies offer her evil incarnate candy so that they don't get eaten, then go to Ponyville alongside her to explain to the ponies that she is no longer Nightmare Moon.
- BACK TO THE MOON.
29

It is revealed that years ago ponies everywhere were inflicted with a disease called 'cutie pox'. What were you doing to stop this?
- Cutie Pox? Is that some kind of UTI?
- Stop? STOP? I MADE the Cutie Pox to teach those commoners a lesson!
- Using the seeds of truth to help out everypony.
- Nothing! It was fun to watch them juggle monkies while eating ice cream and rollerblading.
- ΔW=FΔx=PAΔx

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What kind of troll queen are you?

Your younger sister, Luna, and yourself have beaten the villain Discord and imprisoned him in stone. You know that disharmonious activity around him will break him free. What do you do with him?

Your younger sister feels unappreciated because all the ponies sleep during her beautiful night. What do you do to comfort her?

Nightmare Moon, previously known as Luna, refuses to lower the moon. What do you do to stop her?

Luna has been banished and you have taken control of the sun and moon. What do you do next?

You know that the thousand year sentence is about to end and that Nightmare Moon will be free soon. What do you do to prepare?

Luna has been freed from her evil incarnate by the power of friendship. What do you do to the sister you haven't seen in a thousand years?

You want to thank Twilight Sparkle for defeating Nightmare Moon without any help needed from you. How do you do this?

A dragon has decided to roost in Equestria, threatening to blanket the land in smoke from his snoring. How do you get rid of him?

Parasprites are threatening Fillydelphia and you won't be able to attend a party Twilight is throwing in your honour. What do you do?

The time has come to welcome spring, and all things warm and green. As the seasons do not change on their own anymore on account of your meddling with the sun, how do you accomplish this?

Gaining a cutie mark is an exciting time for young ponies, but for those who haven't found their special talents yet, this time can be embarassing. How do you deal with this?

The week each of spring and summer are over, and it's time for autumn again. How do you remove the leaves from the trees?

It's time to Twilight's weekly letter, but you want to surprise her this time. How do you do this?

You decide to host a Best Young Fliers Competition, celebrating the beauty of flight and competition. You have a list of ponies competing. How do you structure the event?

Rarity is performing in the Best Young Fliers Competition, sporting a beautiful pair of new wings. How do you recognise her new look?

Rarity's wings have been burnt to a crisp and she has knocked out the Wonderbolts, her only chance of survival. What do you do?

Twilight has arranged another party in your honour. What do you bring with you?

Fluttershy, a well-known animal lover, is enquiring about Philomena, your phoenix. What do you tell her?

Twilight is a filly and has just cracked open a dragon egg using her magic. What do you do with the newly hatched baby dragon?

It's finally time for the Grand Galloping Gala, and Twilight and her friends begin an impromptu musical number. How do you prepare for the night?

The Gala has begun, the most regal and elegant event of the season. How do you, as the ruler of Equestria, make your debut?

You have promised Twilight time to talk all about magic and what she's learned and seen, but guests keep arriving. What do you do?

Pinkie Pie has dived into Applejack, sending a cake flying into Rarity who knocked Blueblood into a statue that Rainbow Dash catches and uses to destroy the castle. What do you do??

Twilight and her friends apologise for ruining the Gala. How do you respond?

Discord has broken free from his stone prison after a field trip full of primarily young fillies had an argument in front of him. What are the odds of a pre-teen girl fight? Anyway, what do you do?

Twilight has gone full Cupcakes on everypony and has basically destroyed all of Ponyville on a rampage to find something to write to you about. How do you punish her?

has it really been a year since Luna's return? Anyway, how have you educated your sister about this new world she's living in?

It's Nightmare Night, the one night of the year that could easily confuse and scare your sister into thinking nopony likes her. What do you do with Luna to ensure her feelings aren't hurt?

It is revealed that years ago ponies everywhere were inflicted with a disease called 'cutie pox'. What were you doing to stop this?

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