My First Poem

First Impressions-

I look in the mirror,
I look at the glass.
And the reflection that looks back
Would never pass.

I put on makeup
And comb my hair.
I try to stay real
But no one would care.

At first I impress
At first I amaze.
My beauty and talent
And my eyes's gaze.

I got noticed
I was heard
Then closer to the end
There was a different word.

Some put titles
Some just stared.
Others knew better
And did not dare.

Those are my friends
Who are real and there.
As I take on my steps
To recover from despair.

They called me weird
They called me freak.
They called me loser
Or just a geek.

I pretend
Try as I may.
That I dont care
So I dont give away.

The pain that I feel.
That I cry and tear.
That I would be alone
Filled with fear.

But I wasnt invisible
I was known.
But no one cared
Without interest shown.

I was called cool
Chill and care free.
But not without reason
The person I feared I would be.

It was to hide hatred
Despite and fear.
I cared what people thought
Loud and clear.

I never cried
I never worried.
I never thought
My crap would be unburied.

I didnt want to appear bossy
Or brutal or mean
Words from a boy
Who me he had seen.

But now I suffer,
Now I cry.
Im not good enough
And I dont know why.