Alone

She sat in the back yard, her heart beating faster than she had never felt it before. She felt the liquid flowing down her and and on the ground. She didn't look for fear of getting scared and she wanted to be as peaceful as she could at a moment like this.

She laid the knife on the ground and put her head back against the house and closed her eyes. It would be hours before her parents knew she was missing school and it was unlikely that they would check her little hiding spot. By then, she thought, she would be dead.

She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but what seemed like a moment later jerked her awake. She looked around, she was in a hospital. Looking at her arm where she had cut, there was a bandage. Had someone found her after she slit her wrist or had it clotted on its own?

She looked to one side and then the other and found her parents there, crying. Her dad gave a small smile while her mother jumped to give her a hug. "We thought..." she started but was unable to finish.

"Me too..." She replied. "I...I'm sorry..."

"We're happy that you're still with us," her father said trying to keep a calm voice. He was failing, but he obviously didn't want to make her or her mother more upset.

No one was going to ask why. Everyone knew the story of her best friend. Everyone knew she hadn't been herself, and her normal self wasn't a terribly cheerful person either.

A doctor came into the room, "Visiting hours are over," he said. "You'll have to leave."

"No!" she quickly responded. "I almost...died alone. I don't want to be alone now."

The doctor looked at her. "Oh, you're awake. That's good." The doctor unwrapped her wrist and inspected it. "No sign of infection." He moved her hand and looked for her response. "No pain? Seems like no permanent damage. We'll keep you overnight for observation to make sure we have no complications and let you go home tomorrow."

"Why not now?" she asked.

"We might not see signs of an infection yet. We should keep you here were someone can watch you. We don't want to overlook anything." With that he took her parents out of the room. She could hear them talking, but it was too softly for her to understand what they were saying.

"I don't want to be alone," she cried out too softly for them to hear. It didn't take long for her parents to come back into the room to say goodbye. She got a goodnight hug and kiss, but it was impossible for her parents to stay the night.

"I don't want to be alone...I still might die...I don't want to die alone..." she said to herself. Her voice, her echo, kept her company though the sleepless night. The morning was cold for a late spring morning. The sun hid behind the dark clouds in the sky, but she lie awake knowing her parents would come.

First, a different doctor came in, quickly inspected the scar on her wrist, and left without a word, but her parents were only minutes behind him. She figured they must have talked.

"Let's go," her dad said. "I'm sure you want to get home."

The ride home in the car was long and quiet. Everyone was happy to be together, but no one wanted to talk about her suicide attempt. They all knew it had to be discussed, though.

"Turn off the air conditioning, Dad." Her father turned a dial, but the cold air didn't stop.

"It must be broken," he told her.

She sat in the back seat and looked up at the sky. It looked like night, the clouds were so thick. There was no light coming though the clouds. It was incontrast to her mood, which was not sad, in spite of the circumstances.

She was actually quite happy to be alive, to not have died alone.

"No one wants to die," she said, knowing she would have to face this sooner or later. "I didn't want to die. I wanted not to be miserable anymore. I wanted to stop hurting. I wanted..." She stopped and shook her head a little. She was lightheaded suddenly.

They were pulling into the drive, anyway. Maybe it was just loss of blood from before.

They got out of the car and she grabbed both of her parents and gave them a hug.

"I won't do it again, I promise," she told them. I don't want to be alone. Please, don't leave me alone."

She smiled and walked toward the house. She opened the door. All of the lights inside were off, and the sky was still black with clouds. She walked in and felt the wall for the light switch.

She looked back out for her parents, but they weren't there.

Her mind raced. "Not again, I don't want to be...."

She sat motionless against the back of the house, the sun shining overhead. A small river of crimson ran along the ground where her hand sat. She was not breathing. Silence filled the air around her. Blood stopped pouring from her wound, without a heartbeat to push it out.

No one was near. Her parents were at work, not knowing she had missed school. Her friends were in school. No one yet knew what had happened.

She sat behind her house, dead...and alone.