Just My Tangled Heart

I was very young when the arguments started, maybe 5. They thought I was asleep upstairs safe in my room. I'd always listen to them and it wasn't that hard, my father was the loudest, my mom more quiet tried to convince him to keep it quiet, don't want to wake the baby. There were few quiet nights age 5 to 8. I never tried to distinguish what the argument was about, I just wanted to listen. The only time I'd intently listen is when I heard my name. It was horrible, I'm still a little freaked out by yelling.
By the time I was 9 my dad was out of the house. He said good-bye, hugged and kissed me and said he loved me with all his heart and I'd be the only girl for him. I know now that that was a lie, but at the age of nine I liked hearing it. I used to see him almost every weekend. As I gradually grew up the visit gradually went down until he eventually moved to Florida. Now he only sends my cards on my birthday and almost all the holidays.
My mom was sad when my dad left I could tell that much. I could see it in her blue eyes, the same ones I have. She started going to therapy and tried getting me into it but I wouldn't talk. She's still in therapy. I feel bad for my mom, he's the only guy she really ever trusted with everything. She tried dating after that but she still hasn't found someone she trusts as much and I don't think she ever will.
Well now I'm 17, I don't believe in love and I laugh when a guy says 'I love you' to me. I'm on the more popular side in school and I have 2 best friends. Cherry, pronounce Sherry, and Leeanna. They've been with me through middle school and now high school. I have dated plenty of boys before, that's mainly what my stories going to be about. What's happened to me since I've started dating. Here's my story.