Gabriel Iglesias Stories/Jokes. From Youtube!
This is a little story thing about a comedians (Gabriel Iglesias) funny life stories. He is really funny, look him up on youtube.com for more. d:) Im going to try to put it in his own words ok.
P.S hes talking in this
I took a road trip about a year ago, after I got read of the Beetle and SUV. I took a road trip from L.A to Phoenix to go preform at this club. I can tell you whos in the car. Im driving I got my buddy Armando, riding shot-gun, he's another fluffy guy. We call him Sexy B*ch. Well I dont call him that his wife calls him that.
'He's a 'Sexy B*ch!'. Anyway, the back seat I got my friend Martin next to him is my friend Felipe. So we take off
Vrooooom. We're on the tenth freeway we're passing all this Indian casinos.
Vroooom Whoo-whoo-whoo. Sorry we're stupid like that, anyway. All these cars start passing me right.
Vroooom Vrooom Vroom. Im getting annoyed cuz Im driving Honk! I said next car that tries to pass me, im not gonna let 'em. So im looking in the review mirror waiting, looking, waiting, waiting, and I see a silver dot. This little dot turned out to be a little car with two hoochies in it right. Some of you guys are going
'How do you know there hoochies?' cuz my friend Martin is in the back going
'I feel a disturbance in the force!.' They try to go around and I cut them off
Vrooooom AHAHAHAHAHA! Im having fun they're back there going
eeeeee! whatever
HOOONK
AHAHAHAHA! My friend Felipe is in the backseat yelling at me
'Foo What are you doing?'
'Dude dont worry im having fun'
'Gabriel your gonna get pulled over'
'Dude its ok its cool' We're arguing going back and forth Im not paying attention I dont see a California High-way patrol officer creeping up on us. All of the sudden I hear
WHOOOOOO! I look at the speedometer, 102. Oh I freaked out
'AHHH!' I pulled over
vrooomeck ssss the little car behind me with the two hoochies got pulled over too because they were going just as fast.
vroom eek! Im in the front side of my car freaking out
'Oh my god imma go to jail I cant believe it' Im at the verge of tears. From the back seat I hear my friend Felipe yelling at me
'Fool what are you crying for? What are you crying for fool your not the one with weed in his pocket are you?'
''You have drug in the car!?'
'I told you to slow down didnt I? But nooo pickachu knows everything!'
'Shoot! Everyone roll down your window!' VroooVroovroovroo
'Air up the car Armando fart do somethin' The cop walks over to the window, sees my face, recognizes me from T.V right. He's like
'Hey! I know you, Your a comdeian' looks at him and smiles
'Yeah your that guy from Comedy Central,that guy who does that joke to his friend in the hotel and you call him a dirty mexican, then you go 'But it was funny huh?' Oh I love that joke! That one and the one when you go 'Chocolate Cake!' Oh! I love that Joke! I hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved I need your liscence and registration'
'Oh ok here you go, here you go' So he takes my info goes back to te car with the two girls in it right. The whole time his back there I tell everybody in the car
'Check it out he recognizes me from T.V maybe if we have fuin and crack some jokes he wont take the car. I dont care if we get a ticket but as long he doesnt take the car, Armando be silly crack a joke, Martin be funny, Felipe!'
'What fool'
'Well shut the Hll up!' So the cop goes back to the car
'What the hll we're you doing out there?!' Before I could think of something funny to say from the backseat I hear
'Fool he was testing the suspension' Oh my god this potheads gonna get me arrested.
'Officer im sorry thats my friend Felipe, hes the guy from the special hes the one that says 'but it was funny huh?'hes just trying to get me in trouble. Im really sorry'
'Whatever' So he goes back to his squad car wih my drivers licencse and was swipping it on the computor. The whole time he's doing that he's getting yelled at from the backseat of my car.
'Hey officer! Thank God you have a computor, last week we got stopped in Mexico that fool had a rollerdex(sp?)' The cop starts dying
'AHAHAHAHA!' Im all oh we got him going, we got him going. I tell my buddy Armando
'Give me my CD's' I get out my Bad Boys 2 sountrack, track 3 is the theme song to Cops. I tell my friend Felipe
'Tell me when the cop starts walking'
'Ok fool here he comes' I crancked that song as loud as I could. *Ha! Bad Boys watcha gon whatcha gon whatcha gonna dooooo Ohhhahahoohahohahahoa Best part, now the cop is walking, to the beat. Even better than that, the two hoochies in the car could hear the music and were freaking out. They're all like
'OH MY GOSH!! We're gonna be on T.V!' Fixing Boobs and hair The cop goes to the girls gives them a ticket and lets them go. Vroooooom Looks at our car, and at this point we're like halfway through the song. Nobdy naw give you no break, Police naw give you no break, Soldier naw give you no break, Not even you idren naw give you no break, HeHe, Bad Boys, Bad Boys Got our arms out the window like a bunch of idiots. The cop is in the middle of the freeway dying.
'AHAHAHA!' He walks over to window and he's all
'SHUT IT OFF!!'
'AHHH!' shuts off
'Yes sir' hands me my license and registration and he tells me
'Gabriel, I want you to do me a big favor, I want you to keep this tank, under 100. You think you can do that?'
'Hmmm mmhmm!'
'Do that for me, keep on doing what you do and you have yourself a nice day.'
'Whoa,whoa, whoa, Thats it? No ticket?'
'No ticket' I dont know what possessed me to look at him and go
'Why? How come the girls got a ticket?' And he tells me the coolest thing he says
'Because they couldnt make me laugh. Whoooooee! You dont understand Gabriel ive been on the force now for 26 years, this is hands down the funniest, damn traffic stop ive ever been apart of. Do you know how damn hard it is to give to sl*ts a ticket while listening to Cops? I then near pissed myself I was laughing so hard. This is going in the books as one of the funniest things that could ever happen to a police officer I swear to God. The only story sweeter than this one was a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy that gave him donuts.' So he starts walking away right and just as im about to start the car.
'Does that mean I can keep my weed?' I turnedaround to yell at my friend, too late the cop is at the window.
'You wanna run that by me again son?'
'You heard what I said fool'
'Oh you think this a big joke dont you? You think just cuz I gave your buddy here a break, I know who he is, I like what he does, I dont know you I dont like you. Step out of the car' I turned around and my friend Felipe is all like
'Ohhhhhh, I am so scared' and the cop pulls out his gun Ch-Ch Im freaking im like Oh My God! Backseat my friend Felipe
'Ohhhhhh, Ohhhhh i am so scared fool he's good, he is good' Then he points it at him Whvoooo The looks on my friend Felipe's face gasp PRICELESS!!
'I am scared, oh your serious, imma go to jail?Imma go to jail?' The cop goes like Ch-Ch
'Nah, but that was funny huh?'
Requests?? Comment below and Ill post some. Up next imma post "E-glesias with a I" d:)
'He's a 'Sexy B*ch!'. Anyway, the back seat I got my friend Martin next to him is my friend Felipe. So we take off
Vrooooom. We're on the tenth freeway we're passing all this Indian casinos.
Vroooom Whoo-whoo-whoo. Sorry we're stupid like that, anyway. All these cars start passing me right.
Vroooom Vrooom Vroom. Im getting annoyed cuz Im driving Honk! I said next car that tries to pass me, im not gonna let 'em. So im looking in the review mirror waiting, looking, waiting, waiting, and I see a silver dot. This little dot turned out to be a little car with two hoochies in it right. Some of you guys are going
'How do you know there hoochies?' cuz my friend Martin is in the back going
'I feel a disturbance in the force!.' They try to go around and I cut them off
Vrooooom AHAHAHAHAHA! Im having fun they're back there going
eeeeee! whatever
HOOONK
AHAHAHAHA! My friend Felipe is in the backseat yelling at me
'Foo What are you doing?'
'Dude dont worry im having fun'
'Gabriel your gonna get pulled over'
'Dude its ok its cool' We're arguing going back and forth Im not paying attention I dont see a California High-way patrol officer creeping up on us. All of the sudden I hear
WHOOOOOO! I look at the speedometer, 102. Oh I freaked out
'AHHH!' I pulled over
vrooomeck ssss the little car behind me with the two hoochies got pulled over too because they were going just as fast.
vroom eek! Im in the front side of my car freaking out
'Oh my god imma go to jail I cant believe it' Im at the verge of tears. From the back seat I hear my friend Felipe yelling at me
'Fool what are you crying for? What are you crying for fool your not the one with weed in his pocket are you?'
''You have drug in the car!?'
'I told you to slow down didnt I? But nooo pickachu knows everything!'
'Shoot! Everyone roll down your window!' VroooVroovroovroo
'Air up the car Armando fart do somethin' The cop walks over to the window, sees my face, recognizes me from T.V right. He's like
'Hey! I know you, Your a comdeian' looks at him and smiles
'Yeah your that guy from Comedy Central,that guy who does that joke to his friend in the hotel and you call him a dirty mexican, then you go 'But it was funny huh?' Oh I love that joke! That one and the one when you go 'Chocolate Cake!' Oh! I love that Joke! I hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved I need your liscence and registration'
'Oh ok here you go, here you go' So he takes my info goes back to te car with the two girls in it right. The whole time his back there I tell everybody in the car
'Check it out he recognizes me from T.V maybe if we have fuin and crack some jokes he wont take the car. I dont care if we get a ticket but as long he doesnt take the car, Armando be silly crack a joke, Martin be funny, Felipe!'
'What fool'
'Well shut the Hll up!' So the cop goes back to the car
'What the hll we're you doing out there?!' Before I could think of something funny to say from the backseat I hear
'Fool he was testing the suspension' Oh my god this potheads gonna get me arrested.
'Officer im sorry thats my friend Felipe, hes the guy from the special hes the one that says 'but it was funny huh?'hes just trying to get me in trouble. Im really sorry'
'Whatever' So he goes back to his squad car wih my drivers licencse and was swipping it on the computor. The whole time he's doing that he's getting yelled at from the backseat of my car.
'Hey officer! Thank God you have a computor, last week we got stopped in Mexico that fool had a rollerdex(sp?)' The cop starts dying
'AHAHAHAHA!' Im all oh we got him going, we got him going. I tell my buddy Armando
'Give me my CD's' I get out my Bad Boys 2 sountrack, track 3 is the theme song to Cops. I tell my friend Felipe
'Tell me when the cop starts walking'
'Ok fool here he comes' I crancked that song as loud as I could. *Ha! Bad Boys watcha gon whatcha gon whatcha gonna dooooo Ohhhahahoohahohahahoa Best part, now the cop is walking, to the beat. Even better than that, the two hoochies in the car could hear the music and were freaking out. They're all like
'OH MY GOSH!! We're gonna be on T.V!' Fixing Boobs and hair The cop goes to the girls gives them a ticket and lets them go. Vroooooom Looks at our car, and at this point we're like halfway through the song. Nobdy naw give you no break, Police naw give you no break, Soldier naw give you no break, Not even you idren naw give you no break, HeHe, Bad Boys, Bad Boys Got our arms out the window like a bunch of idiots. The cop is in the middle of the freeway dying.
'AHAHAHA!' He walks over to window and he's all
'SHUT IT OFF!!'
'AHHH!' shuts off
'Yes sir' hands me my license and registration and he tells me
'Gabriel, I want you to do me a big favor, I want you to keep this tank, under 100. You think you can do that?'
'Hmmm mmhmm!'
'Do that for me, keep on doing what you do and you have yourself a nice day.'
'Whoa,whoa, whoa, Thats it? No ticket?'
'No ticket' I dont know what possessed me to look at him and go
'Why? How come the girls got a ticket?' And he tells me the coolest thing he says
'Because they couldnt make me laugh. Whoooooee! You dont understand Gabriel ive been on the force now for 26 years, this is hands down the funniest, damn traffic stop ive ever been apart of. Do you know how damn hard it is to give to sl*ts a ticket while listening to Cops? I then near pissed myself I was laughing so hard. This is going in the books as one of the funniest things that could ever happen to a police officer I swear to God. The only story sweeter than this one was a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy that gave him donuts.' So he starts walking away right and just as im about to start the car.
'Does that mean I can keep my weed?' I turnedaround to yell at my friend, too late the cop is at the window.
'You wanna run that by me again son?'
'You heard what I said fool'
'Oh you think this a big joke dont you? You think just cuz I gave your buddy here a break, I know who he is, I like what he does, I dont know you I dont like you. Step out of the car' I turned around and my friend Felipe is all like
'Ohhhhhh, I am so scared' and the cop pulls out his gun Ch-Ch Im freaking im like Oh My God! Backseat my friend Felipe
'Ohhhhhh, Ohhhhh i am so scared fool he's good, he is good' Then he points it at him Whvoooo The looks on my friend Felipe's face gasp PRICELESS!!
'I am scared, oh your serious, imma go to jail?Imma go to jail?' The cop goes like Ch-Ch
'Nah, but that was funny huh?'
Requests?? Comment below and Ill post some. Up next imma post "E-glesias with a I" d:)
1 Comment
up next im writing "Crocadile Hunter!"