Please Read This, Or Forever Be Curious

I've been gone for what, three, four weeks?

I'm sorry for everything I've done. I'm confused and absolutely sorry. I'm going through some deep stuff right now and can't get online much.

So I'm here to tell you if I don't answer your message, or if I leave for some amount of time, I can't blame anything but this.

This horrible thing. So horrible I can barely speak the name. I've searched it thousands of times and still don't know why me. I'm not just one of those people though. I've really decided to bring this up to you guys. I don't know who else to turn to.

I'm going to start off telling you these few things.

I'm on a laptop, typing crazily to you. I think you should know that I cannot remove myself from the spot I am laying in, because it is a hospital bed.

The pillows are lumpy, the bed flat, and my life now blank. I spend my day coloring in childish coloring books my father brings me and watching ten fuzzy channels on a hospital TV. In the Children's Ward, I have a large painting of cartoon sea creatures on the wall next to me.

I am on the eighth floor of the place, and have the best room to see the sunrise in the morning. But my bed is too far from the window.






It all started with a headache. It got painful, but I have had worse so controlling it wasn't a problem. Then I started to react to things slowly. Unlike me, since I am an A Honor Roll, Honor Band, Pre-AP kid. I remember distinctly my sister asking me what I wanted for breakfast, since I was sick. I waited five minutes before I answered, "What?"

We dismissed my slowness as a fever, and I was tired. So I slept and felt the same way. Sluggish and feverish.

Then I lost my peripheral vision. If you don't know what that means, I lost my vision above my eye. Look at something and stare at it. You can see above it, below it, and beside it. You don't focus around it but the item. I can't see the above part. What does it look like, you might ask? It's not black. Not any color. I just don't see it.

You can't see behind you unless you look there, from which it is no longer behind you. It's sort of like that. You just don't see it, and when you try to look at it it doesn't become what it was before.

I didn't tell anyone about my vision loss, which is why I regret it. It might of costed me my life if I told her just a moment later.

As soon as I started to vomit regularly ever morning, my mom rushed me to the doctor. I sat in a room, scared senseless.

They prodded me with an IV, put wires everywhere and I got lost. I even got a damn CT Scan, which I don't know if it was fully correct since I freaked out, having claustrophobia and had to stop near the end before I hyperventilated. They had to sedate me to do it the second time.

By then they figured out what I had. What strange disease was it that could do this to the body? Was it curable, and what is the best option? Is it life threatening?

Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma
Glioblastoma

It was a small tumor. Not larger then a golf ball. A little smaller.

Yes. I have Glioblastoma.

I have Brain Cancer.

It's okay though. The younger the better. I take more medicine at this age. My first surgery is supposed to be tomorrow. I'm not going to be on tomorrow. If someone is, it's probably a family member. My sister might be on, submitting in some drafts of stories I have.

I want to know that I love all of you guys. Thank you.

I also would like to ask if I should make an online diary. Or is that too boring?




Hey. At least I can fly to Cali for free.