Killer Standards

December 24th 1962:

Today mommy told me that I have to go see the man at our church. She said I can tell him what I see around me and why I destroy them. I think she just doesn't want me using the fishing rods and hooks anymore. But she doesn't understand. Nobody understands. I'm going to see Zachary today too. I'm very mad at him. He told me I was evil for killing one of his birds. He also yelled at me. But I was happy before he did it. I loved killing that bird. It was very easy too. I took it out of the cage and took him to the lake in the back. I held it under water for a long time. When the bubbles stopped I took it out and then put it back the cage. Zachary came in and yelled at me to leave. I cried the whole way home. I don't like when people yell at me. It makes me want to hurt them, but I don't hurt things I love. Mommy said it's time for me to go see the man. Bye diary.
Love,
Casey

"Casey dear please hurry up we don't have much time and it's

not often that he does these sort of things. Casey are you

listening? Casey! Casey I swear if you don't answer Zachary

won't come over today, and you won't see him at all." my

mommy said. I ran down the stairs wiping dust off the skirt of

my dress. Mommy grabbed my arm and pulled me to the Uvier.

She ran a brush through my hair. My hair is too wavy though,

it won't make any difference."You know if you would just calm

down sometimes, you'd be the perfect child. You're beautiful,

sweet, loving, kind, and even respectful. You just need to calm

down. Can you do that for mommy?" she asked. "I can try

mommy just for you." I told her smiling into the vanity. She was

right I am pretty. Lots of people have told me so.Mommy,the

neighbors,Zach, the ladies at church, even my brother Mason.

Mason doesn't really like me though. He said that he doesn't

like me anymore. Ever since he kissed me. I told mommy

and she said he did it because he loved me. But he did it in a

mommy daddy kind of way. He said he loved me more than as

a sister. But he said since I'm only ten I can't love the right

way, so he'd teach me. But I didn't want to be taught. He said

when I'm older he's gonna try again. Maybe then I'll love him

like he loves me. I think I might once I'm older. Mason's

handsome, smart, and a nice brother. But so is Zachary. He's

my age too, but I still like Mason better. I finally got to the

Church. There was a big man dressed in black with a white

collar. He shook my hand and said his name was Marshal. "I'm going to be

talking to you today. About the things you have been doing. Is that okay with

you?" Marshal asked. I didn't like him and when he tried to stoop down to face

me I screamed. And mother heard.