Famished

I sat in a room draped with the short ugly purple fabric that I knew all to well. I was chained back to yet another piece of ugly upholstery that somehow felt rock hard and cold. I screamed as a girl dressed in a red pea coat came in with my cat, Sylph. "No! Don't!" I screamed pathetically, sobbing and yelling as a cruel smile formed on the peacoat girls' lips.
"I love her!"
"DON'T!"
the girl reached for the knife.
Sylph looked at me sadly like she knew it wasn't to be, then started screaming in pain; a different kind of pain than I was feeling.
I flexed my arms, ran at the girl and-


Woke up on the hard tile floor of my bathroom. Sylph was safe next to me. The crazy cat was biting her tail and running in circles, howling in pain when she bit herself too hard. She noticed I was awake and came over to lick my eyeball.
"ugh"
"mrow"
I had been sleepwalking again. No one had come to wake me though. I sighed. I was going to have to lock myself in my room at night. I picked up Sylph, and began to trek back to my room, noting that it was almost time to get up for practice anyway.


And though I knew I was only dreaming and sylph was just fine, I felt a hatred towards the girl in that peacoat, the one who showed me no mercy. The hatred was irrevocable.
The girl was my best friend.




My carpool picked me up at 6:30 AM.
"off to ice skating, girls!"
Jessie's mom sang a weird song of her own creation. She was good at doing that. I sat in the back drinking starbucks, and hoping that my legs would feel a bit more sure of themselves when we got to the rink.
Jessie yawned, then said "frothy" to the air. Neither of us were morning people.
I guess you knew that by now.
Jessie was a year older than I was, a few inches taller, and, while people said we looked the same, I personally thought we looked nothing alike. Jessie's full name was "Jessica Margaret Aspen" A beautiful confident name.
My name was "Callie Jane Brown." how quaint.
I looked up to Jessie, (but not her sister)
Oh. Wait. That made me remember something.
"Mrs. Aspen, where is Guillia (pronounced like julia)?"
Jessie answered for me.
"She just got her drivers license, so she took the other car."
disgust showed on Jessie's face and I understood. Guillia was a big snob who treated Jessie like a lower life form.

"were here, girls!" Jessie's mom stopped outside the large dull looking building. How misleading its appearance was. I jumped from the car and walked indoors smiling.

I beat Jessie to the dressing rooms and was changing when she came in. I quickly made sure the drapes were closed so I had privacy. Then I changed into the purple skating outfit that I just got. That was funny. It was too tight all of a sudden. I peeked out of the curtain to look at myself in the full length mirror. I was horrified by what I saw. I did not have a skaters body. My legs were long, but their stockiness was most obvious. My chest was out of proportion with the rest of my body.

I saw clumps of fat on my back through the suit. I was horrified. This couldn't be happening to me. I cowered behind the curtain not wanting Jessie to see me as I was. I peeked through the curtain as she changed. She was THIN. Oh how I hated her! All the grudging feelings I had about her ever but suppressed came bubbling to the surface. And while I had willingly poisoned myself and begun to despise Jessie with a passion in all of three seconds-something that was so strange that it was almost irrevocable-I felt ashamed of myself. I tried to decide what to do. I got an idea suddenly. I changed into my mom's old skating uniform. It was too big pretty much everywhere. It made me look a little bit smaller. Then I sucked in my stomach and sauntered out of the changing room. Jessie stared at me hard as I got out. (what a meanie!)
"Why didn't you wear the brand new one you were telling me about?"
(why are you so nosy!)
"I left it at home"
"we have some time, we could go back to get it"(stop patronizing me JESSICA)
"No, I'm fine, really."
We walked out of the room and began warming up. I was in a split when I noticed the back. There was A HOLE in the suit.
not in any embarrassing places! But I was suddenly mortified. I ran back to the dressing room and tore through my bag looking for ANYTHING that would work.
I found nothing. I sat out of practice. After school I looked in the mirror in my purple suit. Tears came into my eyes. I was below average in height, and IT MADE ME LOOK STOCKY! I didn't have a skater's body! But I didn't want to get any taller. I wanted to be the small skinny girl who everyone envied. I WOULD MAKE MYSELF SKINNY IF IT KILLED ME. Sylph sauntered into the room and stared at me. I felt embarrassed and hid behind the curtain. Part of my brain wanted to know what on earth was wrong with me, but this new dominant part would not be easily dissuaded from my path to greatness.
"DINNER" my mom called. I ignored her and went to bed.