So Much Time, Such Little Faith
Megan is counting down the days until she decides she will commit sudcice, but until a boy named Zac figures out her little secret. . .
(This is telling from both of their point of views)
Inspiration: If I Die Young- By The Band Perry
MEGAN
As I walk away from all of the laughter and rumors from inside the school, I hope on my motorcycle. My black Harley Davidson. My messenger bag slung over my body, my skinny jeans, and Paramore tee, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to get out of this place. For good. I've been waiting to be gone from this place. For years.
I grabbed the black helmet and put it over my head. I started the Harley, and rode off into the afternoon. Leaving the laughter die out as I rode.
Once I got to the park I always go to, I took off my helmet and put it on the Harley, and walked toward the swings. I set my bag next to me, and took out the note book I've been writing in since it all had started.
What started? Well, all of the problems, people, life, rumors. . .
You get the point.
Anyway, it's like a chain reaction, or I mean like a snowball effect, the snowball just keeps rolling and rolling.
The whole thing started with this one thing, just this one person's thing just made me feel like I'm gonna crumble, and fall apart. But isn't that what's happening to me already? Am I not crumbling already? It's all falling apart, all the broken pieces all around me, and I, I try to put everything back together, but, I can't. Every time I try to build it back together, it just keeps falling apart. Every time. Every time, it just falls apart. You know how like, when you build a block of legos and all of the sudden, someone comes and knocks it over? Well, that's just like that.
When I open the book, I notice, it's already in the middle, and near the end. Near the end of my little story. My story's almost done. The story of my life.
I'm thinking about setting a date. A date when I'm gonna do sudcice. Yeah. I'm gonna do that. I know it's a little too far, and why waste the rest of my life? Well, my life has been wasted already. So there's no need. There's no need to continue my life. There's no need to be alive. There's no need to be here. Here on earth. I don't belong here. So why should I be here? 'Cause I have to. It's life.
I took the blue pen out of the bag and started writing. Another person that had just gotten added to my list. My list of reasons. Each and every one of them has a story. Which I won't tell. It's too long. All of it. Even the people. All of them, I hope they regret everything they did to me. And I mean everything they did. Everything they did. Every move they had made. Every single thing they made, spread, and started.
As I was writing the words;
I just can't--
A guy appears.
ZAC
I've been here since I notice she was here. One day I was walking into the park, and I just see her. Her. She's just been sitting there, writing in her little journal. All the time. I've come here, always since I found her here. And today, today, I thought, it was the day I would suck it up and just, talk to her.
I come out from behind the tree, and she notices me. She starts to pack up her stuff, and all of the sudden I hear myself saying, "No, don't go. I just want to talk."
WOW, Zac. Where did that come from? At least i know I have some courage.
She's staring at me with curious and mysterious blue eyes. Her face is blank and she's just sitting there on the swing, with that journal I see her writing in all the time. There's something different about her. Something . . . I dunno, something just feels . . . off.
She pushes her black hair away from her face, but it falls back into place.
"Hey." I say. Trying to make the first step. I don't know why, but there's just something that makes me want to know her, be with her.
"Hi." She says, looking at me, she stopped swinging.
"What's your name?" I ask her. Great. Just Great. That's what you could've think of, Zac? "What's your name?" Really? I could've done better than that.
"Megan, yours?" She tells me.
"Zac. Nice to meet you, Megan." I say.
She nods her head slowly. "Zac. . ." She says, like she's tasting a new flavor of ice cream.
A long pause between both of us stretches. I swear I could hear a cricket chirping.
"You look like I've seen you somewhere before. What school do you go to?" Megan asks me.
I say, "McCaller's High."
Megan blinks in surprise. "You go there? I go there too. So that's why you looked like I've seen you somewhere."
I chuckle, and say, "Yeah."
Well, I've never really notice her. She doesn't look familiar to me. But I look familiar to her. So what's wrong with me? I usually hang with the jocks and all of the other people, but--
THAT'S why I don't notice her, I usually hang with them. . .
Megan started doodling on the journal she's holding. I notice it and ask, "What do you write in there?"
Megan's eyes wide and a flash of-- fear? appears on her face, just for a split second. Only for a second. She closes the book tightly shut and stuffs it in her bag. She doesn't look at me while she doing it.
"I gotta go, see you later, Zac." Megan says and walks to the-- HARLEY DAVIDSON?!-- and gets on and rides off, leaving smoke behind and making me cough.
And leaving me wonder, what's she so scared of?
As I walk away from all of the laughter and rumors from inside the school, I hope on my motorcycle. My black Harley Davidson. My messenger bag slung over my body, my skinny jeans, and Paramore tee, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to get out of this place. For good. I've been waiting to be gone from this place. For years.
I grabbed the black helmet and put it over my head. I started the Harley, and rode off into the afternoon. Leaving the laughter die out as I rode.
Once I got to the park I always go to, I took off my helmet and put it on the Harley, and walked toward the swings. I set my bag next to me, and took out the note book I've been writing in since it all had started.
What started? Well, all of the problems, people, life, rumors. . .
You get the point.
Anyway, it's like a chain reaction, or I mean like a snowball effect, the snowball just keeps rolling and rolling.
The whole thing started with this one thing, just this one person's thing just made me feel like I'm gonna crumble, and fall apart. But isn't that what's happening to me already? Am I not crumbling already? It's all falling apart, all the broken pieces all around me, and I, I try to put everything back together, but, I can't. Every time I try to build it back together, it just keeps falling apart. Every time. Every time, it just falls apart. You know how like, when you build a block of legos and all of the sudden, someone comes and knocks it over? Well, that's just like that.
When I open the book, I notice, it's already in the middle, and near the end. Near the end of my little story. My story's almost done. The story of my life.
I'm thinking about setting a date. A date when I'm gonna do sudcice. Yeah. I'm gonna do that. I know it's a little too far, and why waste the rest of my life? Well, my life has been wasted already. So there's no need. There's no need to continue my life. There's no need to be alive. There's no need to be here. Here on earth. I don't belong here. So why should I be here? 'Cause I have to. It's life.
I took the blue pen out of the bag and started writing. Another person that had just gotten added to my list. My list of reasons. Each and every one of them has a story. Which I won't tell. It's too long. All of it. Even the people. All of them, I hope they regret everything they did to me. And I mean everything they did. Everything they did. Every move they had made. Every single thing they made, spread, and started.
As I was writing the words;
I just can't--
A guy appears.
ZAC
I've been here since I notice she was here. One day I was walking into the park, and I just see her. Her. She's just been sitting there, writing in her little journal. All the time. I've come here, always since I found her here. And today, today, I thought, it was the day I would suck it up and just, talk to her.
I come out from behind the tree, and she notices me. She starts to pack up her stuff, and all of the sudden I hear myself saying, "No, don't go. I just want to talk."
WOW, Zac. Where did that come from? At least i know I have some courage.
She's staring at me with curious and mysterious blue eyes. Her face is blank and she's just sitting there on the swing, with that journal I see her writing in all the time. There's something different about her. Something . . . I dunno, something just feels . . . off.
She pushes her black hair away from her face, but it falls back into place.
"Hey." I say. Trying to make the first step. I don't know why, but there's just something that makes me want to know her, be with her.
"Hi." She says, looking at me, she stopped swinging.
"What's your name?" I ask her. Great. Just Great. That's what you could've think of, Zac? "What's your name?" Really? I could've done better than that.
"Megan, yours?" She tells me.
"Zac. Nice to meet you, Megan." I say.
She nods her head slowly. "Zac. . ." She says, like she's tasting a new flavor of ice cream.
A long pause between both of us stretches. I swear I could hear a cricket chirping.
"You look like I've seen you somewhere before. What school do you go to?" Megan asks me.
I say, "McCaller's High."
Megan blinks in surprise. "You go there? I go there too. So that's why you looked like I've seen you somewhere."
I chuckle, and say, "Yeah."
Well, I've never really notice her. She doesn't look familiar to me. But I look familiar to her. So what's wrong with me? I usually hang with the jocks and all of the other people, but--
THAT'S why I don't notice her, I usually hang with them. . .
Megan started doodling on the journal she's holding. I notice it and ask, "What do you write in there?"
Megan's eyes wide and a flash of-- fear? appears on her face, just for a split second. Only for a second. She closes the book tightly shut and stuffs it in her bag. She doesn't look at me while she doing it.
"I gotta go, see you later, Zac." Megan says and walks to the-- HARLEY DAVIDSON?!-- and gets on and rides off, leaving smoke behind and making me cough.
And leaving me wonder, what's she so scared of?
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