Marshmallow Salt/ BLT

Once upon a... pear, a penguin named Freddiffer died again. His zombieness was applicant. He turned evil during July. Everyone screamed at the very sight of Freddiffer. His name was a mix of Jeniffer and....... Bob. POTATO? One night when he ate his happy cheesecake, something happened. Something mysterious. HE HAD EARS! (That's kind of creepy.) Even sausages thought that he was a weirdo!!! He just completely fooped when his dad, the leader of the Laurika penguins, sat on him because of the growths on the sides of his head. That was usually the beginning of the farting ceremony, which was sometimes, by his father, deadly. The ancient and ceremonial song for this ceremony floated through the room. PINK LENINADE? "Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot-" "STOP!" Freddiffer exclaimed. "You say it all wrong!" Loud gasps came from the crowd. "It goes like this: 'Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart-'" "Stuff and nonsense!" the Laurikan tribe leader interrupted. "We have ceremonial words that have been used for billions of millennium. You are an evil zombie penguin with ears! You must be gassed." The chant continued, bouncing eerily off the walls as the Laurikan leader, Malitto, was handed the ceremonial beans. CHERRY NAPKINS!? "OMG, Shut up already!" said Freddiffer, somehow chewing gum with his beak. "I've had enough of you, Laurikans. And Freddiffer stalked away!! "Wait, you forgot to..." but Freddiffer was already gone. He wandered across deserts and seas, through jelly-donut-stealing clouds and mountains of cream cheese (he actually just ate those) and lakes of gelatinous masses. Then he realized he forgot to eat his yogurt. Then he realized something else, something very crucial to survival:... "Jello... it's delicious!!!!!!!!!!!" he cried. His exclamation echoed all around and he realized how lonely he was. He arrived back with the Laurikans within minutes with plenty of cream cheese for everyone. His lawyer told him, "We figgurd out why you have ears: after you were reburied, you shared a coffin with some weird man and his ears came off and stuck to you!" "HALLELUJAH!!!!" cried Freddiffer. "And...you no longer need to get through the farting ceremony!" "Just eat some cream cheese," Freddiffer said as he threw cream cheese in his lawyer's face. FRECKLE!










FOOP is a word made up by the authors of this amazing and fantastically awesome story.