Cutting-The End-A Poem

My blood flows gold,
My heart pumps black,
What can I do,
To bring my life back?

My scars scream red,
My veins plead cut,
Once you're there,
There's no way back.

My body it aches,
My eyes flutter closed,
I slump on the floor,
Away the pain goes.

The sparkle is gone,
There is no way to fight,
It stole my soul,
I can't find the light.
There is no way to fight,
It stole my soul,
I can't find the light.

Another cut
Another tear
Another night
That I live in fear

Another rip
Another tear
Another day
That you weren't there

Another blade
Another cut
Another person
Who put me in this rut

Another wound
Another scar
Another girl
Wishing upon a shooting star

Another dream
Another plan
Another person
Wishing it never began

Razor blades
can never hurt me
I've been hurt too often
I try to remember why
and then the guilt comes
blood on the bathroom floor
the sign of freedom soon to be gone
I am all
and I'll be gone
Burning pain in my arms,
Stops the burning tears.
Slicing the skin calms my doubts,
And helps erase my fears.
The anger is so strong at times,
And my pain becomes too much.
And I long to feel the calmness,
Of the knife's forgiving, tender touch.
As I watch my blood pour,
My sanity soars.
And I long to feel the pain once more.
To those who may not do this,
I probably sound insane.
But this is the only way I know how...
To ease the blinding pain.

Feel the pain, deep inside
Nasty scratches, hard to hide
Feel the pain, is what I need
Cut myself, until I bleed
Feel the pain, I was so blind
Seemed so right, at the time
Feel the pain, I was so wrong
Should have known that, all along

I remember those days, when I felt nothing

just a slash or a gash away
from what I thought was happiness
when all it was, just an illusion

a blade
blood
and then what?
I just let myself fool myself
when I look back, there really was no difference
I was still well aware of the problem, just in an altered way that didn't make any solutions

I realized that and stopped
just like that [with the few exceptions]

sure, I still get triggered but I know that it's nothing for me
so I journal about how I feel, call someone, cry, anything but cut
I remember those days, when I felt nothing

just a slash or a gash away
from what I thought was happiness
when all it was, just an illusion

Feel the pain, deep inside
Nasty scratches, hard to hide
Feel the pain, is what I need
Cut myself, until I bleed
Feel the pain, I was so blind
Seemed so right, at the time
Feel the pain, I was so wrong
Should have known that, all along