Lost Cries(RATED R)

I'm laying on the bed silently crying again. He's still right next to me waiting for his perfect moment. It's only been a week since his last visit. I had hoped that he had gone away but I was stupid for thinking so. The truth is he'll probably never go away.
He starts caressing my body again. Starting with my cheek down to my legs. It's getting to the end of his game now. His touch makes me feel sick inside. My mind races back to the first time I saw him. My friend Mandy had taken me to one of her big drug spots and needed some of my extra cash. It was smoky in the little run down building but I had still spotted him in the corner. Not thinking anything of it at the time. I helped my friend out and we left. It was only later the next night that he started making his visits.
Now he's begun whispering in my ear.
"Beautiful, why do you never give yourself to me? Always make me take, take, take." He puts his face into my hair and inhales. He starts caressing my hair now.
"You know you're special to me don't you? Out of all the girls you're the loveliest and the only one that always resists me." He knows I wont talk to him. Once the screaming is done there is really nothing left to say. He takes my face in his hand and turns it toward him.
"You have the most penetrating blue eyes and probably the only girl I know with real golden locks." He smiles at me with gleaming white teeth that look hideous to me. He traces the tears that have gone down my cheeks, down to my chin, and goes back up to trace the outline of my lips. He lightly kisses me. I feel bile rise. It's finally the end of his game.
"I must leave for now little bird, Tony has things that he must do. Don't fret though little one, Tony will always make time for you." At last he leaves my dingy apartment. I shiver and take a breath. His game is done for today. Again the thought of telling someone comes to mind but I know Tony has connections that will most likely get him out of anything. Even if I tried I'm sure if he found out about it he would be even less pleasant then he already is. Being assaulted is one thing, getting abused is another thing entirely when you're talking about Tony.
My phones starts to ring. I know who it is even before I press talk.
"Alex! Good you're up! Do you have any money I can borrow?" Mandy's voice rings through my ear. She must have already used up the stash she had and looking to score more. If I didn't give in and give her the money she needed I'm worried about where she'd try to get some next and the price she might have to pay for it. I tell her to come over in a little bit and hang up.
Walking into my bathroom I put the shower on almost all hot water and step in. I don't feel any cleaner by doing so but know that I need to. The water washes away the tears but not the pain, never the pain. I get dressed and wait for Mandy. Looking over at the clock for the first time I notice it's four AM and already the days trashed. Makes me almost wonder how my twentieth birthday is going to go next month. Or worse if Tony knows.
I go over to the dresser, take out the bottom of the middle drawer, and take out my only possession that means anything to me. The heart shaped locket is made of black gold and is the last gift I ever received from my parents. The rose etched on the top right side reminds me of all Ive lost. I put it on and slip it under my shirt just as I hear the knock on the door.
Mandy comes in with her short brown hair looking like a brush hasn't seen it in weeks, her glasses are dirty and she's obviously lost some weight from all the drugs. I wish I could help her. Guess it's hard to help others when you need help yourself. Every time Ive tried to help her in the past, tried to get her on the right track she's ended up deeper in the gutter then before. Sometimes I'm glad I'm an only child. If only for the fear that they'd turn out like that and that I wouldn't be able to save them. Mandy's still my friend but a lot of the time I have to wonder why. The theory could go that it's because we both have nobody else and really need each other no matter what. Well I don't have to be to work till much later. So that gives me time to deal with Mandy's drama.
Crap! She must have asked me something while I was spacing out. Looking at me expectantly.
"What was that?" I ask innocently as she gets an annoyed look.
"Jeez Alex, I was just saying don't we all wish we had our own personal hero?" She laughs at me then. "I swear sometimes Alex I just don't know where you are!"