THE ZOMBIE APOCOLISP (Zombie apocalypse spoof)

"Lately there have been excessive sightings of demon possessed people going into public areas. So far there has been no one injured but the feeling of these people in supermarkets and parks is unanimous: Disturbing. If you witness any areas with one of these people you are urged to call the LAPD immediately. I'm Laura Eimboz, back to you Rick."
I'm TJ Bushra. An average 16 year old just trying to survive. Most teens would say that as in surviving high-school, but I am trying to survive something much more difficult: The opocolisp.
"Thank you, Laura. Now, here, we have Dr. Charles D. Espylacopa, who seems to know something about these demon possesed people. Mr. Espylacopa?"
"It's DOCTOR CHARLES D. ESPYLACOPA TO YOU!!!" Yells the Doctor, with a stange accent that I can't quite understand.
I look over to my friend Daren who is shaking his head and frowning at this man. "Pause it!!" Daren Yells.
"What is it, Daren?" Jannett ask, confused. Jannett is my girlfriend. We've been dating for 2 months.
"It's this guy. The Doctor. He has me wondering."
"About what?" I ask, bored.
"What if he is one of them?"
"A zombie?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Why would you think that?" Jannett presses on.
"Haven't you noticed that everyone who has been bitten by a Lispian has that voice?"
"Dude, just call them Zombies. It's all they are." I say realizing that I should be building a wall rather than discussing this.
"THEY ALL SPEAK IN A LISP!! THAT'S WHY WE CALL THEM LISPIANS." Daren has jusmed out of his seat and is in my face now."
"I get that, but it sounds like Lesbian and I can't quite stay serious when I say that." I say wiping Darens spit out of my eye.
"You don't take anything seriously, TJ!!" Daran is really mad.
"GUYS STOP!!" Jannett yells. And Daren is back in his seat.
"All I'm saying is how is this old footage from before the Apocolisp began going to help us?" I question our un-elected president of the LA Lispian Survival Partnertship, Daren.
"I don't know." Says Daren, out of complete geniousness.
"Let's just go murder some Zombies." I say.
"Lispians!!" Daren corrects.
"Shut up, Daren." Jannett pulls out her gun and gets up. me and Jannett fist pump.

Daren and I are waiting patiently for Jannett to get her bullet proof vest on. We found them after a few Zombies took out a police station.
"Done." Jannett says as she loads her gun.
"Don't load that in here, it's only for out there." Says Daren. Jannett and I roll our eyes.
I open the door. "Ladies first. I say to Jannett.
"Thanks you." Jannett says.
"Age before beauty." I say to Daren. He just scowls at me. For the next two hours we stay close and get no success in Killing any zombies.
"Maybe we should split up." Daren suggests.
"Living on the wild side, huh, Daren?" I say.
"Sure, whatever, let's just split up before I change my mind."
Turns out that Daren had a good idea for once, because we each get at least 5 kills. All was well until...
"TJ!!!" I hear Jannett's voice. I rush in the genreal direction of her voice. "TTheee Jyaaaa!!!" Oh no... Lisp.
"Jannett!!" I yell back, but there is no response. I rush through the short hall between the train station and the bagel shop, and I see Jannett on the floor around the corner. I slide by her side. "Jannett?"
"Thwee Yaayyy." She can hardly even talk.
"Jannett, no..."
...No response...

THE END

Author's comments:
I think I pulled that. What do you guys think? Cheesy enough? OK, so tell me if you noticed this... FIRST OFF. Laura's last name, "Eiboz" is Zomie spelled backwards. Second, Dr. Charles D. Espylacopa, obviously had Charles Darwin's initials. It sybolized that he used a fake evolutionary process to create the Lispian epidemic. His last name, is apocalyspe backwards. Also, the LA Lispian Surival Partnership can be abreviated LLSP, which sounds like Lisp.

HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT!! I know it was kinda long, but whatever.