Paradise

Walking down the cold wooden hallway I thought of my last moments with you, they were like being in paradise. My feet grow cold and felt tried but I kept pushing forward wanting nothing more just to stop the creepy feeling of being watched. My white dress cling to my body it felt so thick, it felt so heavy. My shoulders drop with so much weight on me.
My hands were glued to my sides as I got closer to the end of the hall my pale feet never stop at the dead end of the hall. I walk through the wall only wanting to be with you. Knowing leaving you would be the last thing I ever wanted to do. My heart stopped a long time ago when I saw your cold dead body hit the floor. My heart went too. It broke when your blood ran dry.
I opened my eyes to see I was in a jungle and my feet were warm and my skin was no longer pale. I wonder if this was heaven. The juggle carried every animal that was no longer on earth. I wonder if you were here too. The leaves were green and the sun shined brightly on my feet. I felt at peace. My feet kept moving. My hands ran across many things from leaves to flowers and grass. No particle thought was on my mind, just looking around with my eyes gazing at the beauty that surrounded me. Then I heard your laugh, my eyes tore away from the world around me and followed the sound of your voice.
My feet acted on their own and I started to run. The closer I got to it the farther it seemed. I wanted to see you. I need to see you. I closed my eye and stop my feet. I picture your face. The way your eyes would light up at simple clumsy mistakes I would make. The way your smile would light up the room. How every time I would hear your voice it was the only thing I would here. How every time you would hold my hand the whole world disappeared and it was just us two.
Then this paradise didn’t seem so great without you here… then it started to disappear.
My eyes saw a closed door and behind that door I heard yours and mine voice. We were laughing at our clever remarks no one ever seem to get. Our secret jokes were so flirty. Your eyes held a glint of tenderness behind the dull stare you would give everyone. I hand reached for the handle then the door opened before the sliver snake knob was in my hand. I saw something I always wanted to see. You and I telling the rest world about us and it going it the way we hope it would go. My face turned cold as I walked backwards form the scene. If I wanted to see something I wanted to be the truth. After all the lies I told I was sick of the game. So were you. You said so yourself. My body began to fall to the floor. My knees gave out. My body was pale once again. The white dress was heavy on me and my feet became tried and cold.
My eyes saw the pain of my life sand others that I meet. It repeated. Then I tried to close my eyes. My body refused to do what I commanded. I saw my life and others, over and over with no remote to change what I hate said. Paradise was gone. I lied and I meet the best thing in my life, you. I lost you because of that lie. There’s nothing more I can do, but watch it repeat. I put my hand up high and watch the mistakes I made. Knowing this was my punishment. I never thought it would lead to yours or my life being dead. I miss you. I wish we meet natural but not on a lie. One thought echo though my head.
“Do you miss me?”
Then the scenes played were I told you I never regret anything I do. I was wrong. I regret ever lying to you about me. I told you a lie because I jealous and felt so vulnerable. I was wrong to do that. I wanted to impress you. Yet, it looks like I never really had to. My eye finally closed. My tried self-went to sleep for the last time. I love you, always.