Silly Little Stories

Joseph Tamar (Joey for short) lived in the country with his Ma and Pa. He helped Ol’ Mr. Poppy out at his farm ‘cross the road. He had red hair that stuck out every which way, and the squarest head ya ever saw. Folks ‘round ‘them country parts called him Lil’ Joey Square Head, we just gonna call ’im Joey. Now Joey’s 8th birthday was comin’ up, and Ma and Pa didn’t know what to get im.’ Joey had been hintin’ for a Jumpy contraption thingy, but Pa was to dumb to take a hint, and Ma couldn’t stop tootin’ long ‘nough to hear Joey. But Joey just had to have that Jumpy contraption thingy, so he tried even harder. “Ma!” Joey yelled, “What in da world is you yellin’ fer!?” Ma made a toot. “That’s what fer!” Joey yelled. “What’s all the yellin’ going on ‘round here!?’ Yelled Pa as he stormed into the sittin’ room. “Ma’s rear is too loud,” yelled Joey “that’s why!” “Don’t you talk ‘bout your Ma like dat” Pa slapped Joey to da floor. Joey got up. “I want a Jumpy contraption thingy!!!” He yelled into his Ma’s ear. Ma kicked Joey in da face. “Don’t yell at me!” She scolded. “She’s right son!” Pa slapped Joey again. “Now go help Ol’ Mr. Poppy!” Joey was glad to be gettin’ out of da stinky house. “Ol’ Mr. Poppy!” He called. Ol’ Mr. Poppy came out of da barn. “What sonny?” He called loudly. “It time for me to help ya out Pa said!” Joey yelled. “Come make me lunch while I go to da outhouse for some private time Sonny!” Yelled Ol’ Mr. Poppy waddling to da outhouse. Joey went into his junk house. “What should I make ‘im?” He wondered aloud. He looked in his cupboards. Nothin’ but old stale crackers, and stinckin’ moldy cheese was in there. “Cheese and crackers it is.” Said Joey as he took the food out. He found a knife and started slicing some cheese, then he put them on the stale crackers. It was ’bout 30 minutes ’for Ol’ Mr. Poppy was back in the house. “Maybe you should be called Ol’ Mr. Poopy.” Said Joey as he came through the door. “What about poopy did you say Sonny?” Asked Ol’ Mr. Poppy. “Nothin’ Ol’ Mr. Poop…Poppy.” Sad Joey. “Here is yer lunch.” he handed it to O’l Mr. Poppy. “Thanks Sonny.” He took a bite, “this is yummy. Now go home, I need to change my pants for some reason… just please go home Sonny.”

The next day was Joey’s birthday! Joey slept upstairs, and he tried to run down the ladder like you would run down stairs, but he fell and hit his head on the floor. Pa ran over to ’im and picked ’im up and slapped ’im. “Don’t be so clumsy, you’re gonna kill youself!” Joey was to excited to care about slaps right now, so he just ran outside to see if he got what he had wanted! There it was, the Jumpy contraption thingy, (otherwise known as a Trampoline.) He got on it and Jumped for hours. When Ma and Pa saw how much fun Joey was havin’ they decided to join ’im. Every time Ma would hit the Jumpy contraption thingy , her rear would make a tooty noise, and shortly after, a stinky smell. Every time Pa hit the Jumpy contraption thingy he would fall over, and stretch the it out, and hit the ground. Joey had a wonderful birthday, until the end of the day when Joey and his Ma and Pa all decided too jump at the same time, and they broke it.
The End!!!