I Might Be Insane--Need Advice? Your Pathetic Loner Right Here...

So basically, all you wondering people out there. This is supposed to be an advertisement. Of all sorts. I will technically be giving advice to all you sad, misfortunate souls in this big, wide, sad world of Quibblo.

I'll give you any advice. Whether it's boys or friends or family or whatever.

But there are a few things that I need to set straight with you guys, if you're willing to follow me:

1) Don't be whiny about it:
--What I mean about that is that you can't go on for pages and pages of depression and loneliness. You can't just expect me to understand years of pent up rage or whatever. Just summarise the main points of whatever you want me to know, and I'll help you.

2) Don't expect me to be here 24/7
--I'm still new to Quibblo, and I'm not that attached to it as most people on this website are. I will not be here for hours waiting for a message. Trust me on that--and it might even take a while for me to reply. So don't b^tch to me about it if I don't reply for after a few hours or whatever the hell your patience limit is.

3) I will not take it if you don't like my advice. Don't like? Go away.

4) I am brash. I will be mean when I need to, and I will be forward. If I think that you've done something really stupid--I will tell you. I am not the fairy-godmother ready to sprinkle everything with fairy dust. Don't think of me like that. Ever.

I might just do you in.

5) I won't take anything religious. I'm sorry. Muslim and proud. I feel uncomfortable writing about Christianity and Jewish things.

And finally:

6) When messaging me, put the message name as "In Need of the Mystic Powers of Nashingle".

Lol, just kidding.

But seriously.

KIDDING.

Omg, I better stop. Seriously.

But really--I'm kidding. Name it as "Agony Aunt" or something. But I'd rather not have a title of being forty years old so give it something like...um..."Nashingle, I Need Help". Just put it with 'Nashingle' or 'help'.

Bye, you sods.