The Statue (For Gymdog's Contest)
Enjoy, rate and comment, please! I'd really love it! ^.^ Criticism is welcomed!
There once was a house. It stood in a silent (nearly abandoned, you could say) neighborhood, white-washed and peaceful, just a mere friendly, little cottage by a dirt-road. Back then, there was only one car in the street and it stood right there, parked neatly in front of the nicely-kept lawn. A thick oak leant against the small house for support, adding to the fairytale-like atmosphere. And it was to that house that a lovely, gorgeous garden belonged to.
It was perfect. Flowers and herbs, ranging from red tulips, yellow roses and blossoming jasmine to sharp and aromatic lavender, basil and peppermint. All grew freely, just like the damp moss that crawled up along the back of the house. The air was always heavy with the delicious scent of the sweet flowers, to the point that when you opened a door or window, you were surprised by the quality of it.
As you went to the back of the large garden, it became darker gradually; a dwelling for creatures of the night. A weeping willow, its long branches bent with seemingly-genuine grief, hung over a round pond, where no colorful lillies bloomed. The water was dark, nearly inky, even. No birds sang. It was a dark, depressing place, where the rest of the world seemed muted. Oppressing, one might call it. Designed for the miserable, others said.
And just beyond that place, in a far corner where no light shone, untouched and unwanted, stood a lone, stone statue.
It depicted a woman; obviously young and frightened. Her head was bent in shame, maybe even pure humiliation. Her hair hung past her face in slobby, disorganized curls, its texture nearly as if it was damp. The statue seemed to be clutching her robes, as if trying desperately to cover her naked body. Her feet weren't visible, but disappeared into the stone she stood on. What was perhaps most terrifying about this decoration was the mouth; it hung wide open, as if she was trying to scream, but couldn't.
And if you dared to approach it and bent over carefully to look at her countenance, you'd see the pain and fear in her eyes. Everything about it radiated grief, regret, anguish and horror. No one dared to remove it and many called it cursed.
It is with this statue that our story begins. It begins like all fairytales begin:
Once upon a time. . . .
It was perfect. Flowers and herbs, ranging from red tulips, yellow roses and blossoming jasmine to sharp and aromatic lavender, basil and peppermint. All grew freely, just like the damp moss that crawled up along the back of the house. The air was always heavy with the delicious scent of the sweet flowers, to the point that when you opened a door or window, you were surprised by the quality of it.
As you went to the back of the large garden, it became darker gradually; a dwelling for creatures of the night. A weeping willow, its long branches bent with seemingly-genuine grief, hung over a round pond, where no colorful lillies bloomed. The water was dark, nearly inky, even. No birds sang. It was a dark, depressing place, where the rest of the world seemed muted. Oppressing, one might call it. Designed for the miserable, others said.
And just beyond that place, in a far corner where no light shone, untouched and unwanted, stood a lone, stone statue.
It depicted a woman; obviously young and frightened. Her head was bent in shame, maybe even pure humiliation. Her hair hung past her face in slobby, disorganized curls, its texture nearly as if it was damp. The statue seemed to be clutching her robes, as if trying desperately to cover her naked body. Her feet weren't visible, but disappeared into the stone she stood on. What was perhaps most terrifying about this decoration was the mouth; it hung wide open, as if she was trying to scream, but couldn't.
And if you dared to approach it and bent over carefully to look at her countenance, you'd see the pain and fear in her eyes. Everything about it radiated grief, regret, anguish and horror. No one dared to remove it and many called it cursed.
It is with this statue that our story begins. It begins like all fairytales begin:
Once upon a time. . . .
51 Comments
Nice story!!!!!
Thank you! xP
This is awesome so far!!! :D
Thanks! :P
Keep writing!
I love it. ^.^ GO HORRORS!
Thanks, Katie! xD
This is really good XD You know how to describe stuff without making it boring, and that's hard. You have a talent XD PLEASE KEEP GOING!!
Thank you very much!
This sounds SO good!!!!!!! I can't wait to read more!!!!!!!! :)
Thank you!
Two things. One, now that you have entered the contest, there is no way I will win. Two, was the mute part inspired by my story? ;)
#1 I bet you'll win! Pssh! xD and #2 No, I got the idea because I needed her to be speechless, and thus unable to defend herself with words. Later on in the story, it will represent her inability to stand up for herself! ^.^ It might've drifted into my subconscious, though, now that you say it...:O
I LOVE this!!!!!!!! You should definitely look into getting your work published, because you are VERY talented!!!!!! :)
Haha, thank you! xD I don't think they'll take a stubborn-looking 15-year-old seriously, though! xD But thank you, and same goes for your work!
Well hey, Christopher Paolini finished Eragon when he was 15. Granted, he didn't publish it for another four or five years, but that doesn't mean you have to wait! You're writing is really good, so they'll notice. Go for it! And thank you! :)
You're welcome! xD I haven't read the series, but my brother has. :) I want to wait a few years, at the least, though. :P You know, think of a good plot, intricate characters, a good storyline...the works!
Not a bad idea. I myself still struggle with all of that. :P Working on it! Well I'll definitely be excited to see your work in print someday! And it will be amazing, no doubt. :)
Thank you! xD I don't think it will happen, but we'll see! I look forward to seeing yours!
I think it will! :) And thanks again! :)
I like this one too =)
Thanks! ^.^
I LOVE THIS. already addicted. >.
Thanks! :D
AMAAAZZIINNNGGG
Thank you, Delia! xP