Just A Simple Little Love Story x
I decided that I would write a little love story. I really hope people like it x If people don't really comment then I probably won't write anymore. I hope you like it x
Did you ever think that one day you would fall in love and live a happy ever after? I thought that too. Then I realised, life always isn't that simple.
It was a dull Tuesday afternoon. The brown leafs crunched underneath my feet as I walked up the drive way into my house. It isn't the fanciast house, it isn't the biggest house. It was just, normal.I was born and raised in this house. Along with my brother, sister, mother and father. We were a happy family.
Then our lives changed forever. None of us really got over what happened. It will be the saddest thing that ever happened to me. Well, that's what I thought.
As I walked in the door the smell of home made lasagna filled my nostrils. Something was wrong. Dad never cooks unless he has bad news. "Dad," I shouted as I closed the front door. "In the kitchen." When I walked into the biscuit coloured kitchen I noticed that Ellen, my little sister, and my Dad were sitting at the kitchen table. I took my seat next to Ellen. I could feel the tension in the room.
When we finished our dinner Dad brought out a huge tray of brownies. "Dad, what's wrong?" I asked. He sighed and placed the tray of brownies on the counter. "Ellen and Zibby, you know that I've been struggling since the thing with your Mam." I sighed and brushed a piece of my brown hair out of my face. Ellen kept looking at the table. Even she knew there was something wrong. And she's 12!
"Well, I've been having financial problems. Their cutting my pay check again and I can't afford to live here. So, we're moving in with Johnny."
I thought my heart jumped out of my body and ran down the drain. Tears were filling my eyes. I held them back. Big girls don't cry. I had to stay strong, for Ellen. I didn't mind Johnny. He's like my second father. It's his stuck up son I hate! He always flirts with me. ALWAYS! But he is good looking. With those hazel eyes and that beautiful brown hair... NO stop it. I CANNOT fall for that, jerkface.
"When are we moving?" I asked nervously. "Two Weeks."
So... I hope you liked it x I know it's insanely short but it's late at night and I've just been in hospital and I'm super tired. So please tell me what you think. If people don't like it then I won't go on. xx Anna xx
It was a dull Tuesday afternoon. The brown leafs crunched underneath my feet as I walked up the drive way into my house. It isn't the fanciast house, it isn't the biggest house. It was just, normal.I was born and raised in this house. Along with my brother, sister, mother and father. We were a happy family.
Then our lives changed forever. None of us really got over what happened. It will be the saddest thing that ever happened to me. Well, that's what I thought.
As I walked in the door the smell of home made lasagna filled my nostrils. Something was wrong. Dad never cooks unless he has bad news. "Dad," I shouted as I closed the front door. "In the kitchen." When I walked into the biscuit coloured kitchen I noticed that Ellen, my little sister, and my Dad were sitting at the kitchen table. I took my seat next to Ellen. I could feel the tension in the room.
When we finished our dinner Dad brought out a huge tray of brownies. "Dad, what's wrong?" I asked. He sighed and placed the tray of brownies on the counter. "Ellen and Zibby, you know that I've been struggling since the thing with your Mam." I sighed and brushed a piece of my brown hair out of my face. Ellen kept looking at the table. Even she knew there was something wrong. And she's 12!
"Well, I've been having financial problems. Their cutting my pay check again and I can't afford to live here. So, we're moving in with Johnny."
I thought my heart jumped out of my body and ran down the drain. Tears were filling my eyes. I held them back. Big girls don't cry. I had to stay strong, for Ellen. I didn't mind Johnny. He's like my second father. It's his stuck up son I hate! He always flirts with me. ALWAYS! But he is good looking. With those hazel eyes and that beautiful brown hair... NO stop it. I CANNOT fall for that, jerkface.
"When are we moving?" I asked nervously. "Two Weeks."
So... I hope you liked it x I know it's insanely short but it's late at night and I've just been in hospital and I'm super tired. So please tell me what you think. If people don't like it then I won't go on. xx Anna xx
67 Comments
I COMMAND you to write chapter 5!!!! :D
Neeexttt :3
I love this!!! Keep going! I can't wait to read the rest!!! :D
Wow this is actually pretty good, unlike most of the love stories I've read online :D Keep it up
It's really great! The grammar could use some work, but if you want any help or if you want me to improve the grammar after you've written it, just message me! Also, try not to make it too cliche. Obviously, they'll end up together, but try to think of how a normal teenage girl would react in such a situation (a.k.a., less dreamy!). Also be careful not to make your characters Mary-Sues or Gary-Stus (as tempting as it is). Again, I really liked it!
what do you mean Mary-Sues or Gary-Stus
How to explain...well, a Mary-Sue is a girl character, often with a traumatic past, who is beautiful, smart, sweet and often loved by many, though she herself doesn't believe she is beautiful. Basically, a Mary-Sue is how the author wishes she was. They are usually more unique and better than others in things, and often posess multiple talents. In short words: they are perfect. They are very tempting to make! :P Gary-Stus are male Mary-Sues. You can take an online quiz for your story!
I swear. I'm trying to make my own story. I have the ending and everything. I don't think anyone ever did this ending before... But I'm only 12 and I Never Ever wrote a story like this before. Also, I'm not that good at spelling..... Sorry if you don't like it
I do like it! I really do! I wish I could've written what you're writing when I was 12! (Back when I was twelve, I abhorred writing and failed utterly at it! xD) and I know, which is why I warned you about Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues; it's a tempting habit to fall into. Don't be discouraged; keep writing! And a little secret between us: before I was good at grammar, I used to write I without the capital letter, and I often failed! If you need help with grammar, though, I'm here. ^.^
Thanks x And I fail miserably at writing as well. I'm sure you were 100000x better than me...
Definitely not! Even my mother winched when she read my stories! xD They have improved, I admit, since then. Quibblo helped me a lot! And you don't fail! Just look at all the comments!
Still, I don't think I'm very good...
That's what we all think of ourselves!
this story is really good!! keep it up, girl!! :)
DO. NOT. DELETE! I am SO SO glad you told me to read this! I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love it!!!!! PLEASE MORE! MORE PLEASE!!! Tehe!!! I LOVE it!!!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENSSS!!!!! :D
love it!! :D
I'd like to get this out there: Sarah is awesome because she is a Directioner. Allen is super cool because he's Irish. Bah. Awesomeness.
Now, the story is terrific. Very interesting and you're a good writer. Perhaps work on spelling and grammar slightly, as there are a few errors here and there. Besides those grammar and spelling errors, it's a brilliant story.
Continue soon :) xx
AWESOME cool story