Paper Wings
I'm near the end of my rope..
Sometimes, I'm weak. I'm down and broken. Now, I'm hardly anything.
I'm sick of being this.. Stupid. I tried... And I failed...
Gomenasai. I'm so tired of thus fight, this dance of lies.
Think of me as a person, someone flying on paper wings, melded together by wax. The lies and emotions are the sun, and My wings are being melted, just like my sanity.
It takes a while to notice, pain drives you insane. And if more and more is piled upon you, insanity, disorders, thoughts, and lies will only be the children of that problem.
I'm what you call "ungrateful". I have a life, I'm "spoiled", I have things. A lot. Like a phone, iPod, iPad, TV, laptop, books, dog. Yeah, I'm so ungrateful. But it's not "I want more", it's I want less. I don't want fûcking presents, I want fûcking relief from emotional abuse and neglect.
Today's my birthday, the 20th of July. I'm turning, I think, 13. I'm quite glad. A year has passed, a year closer to death.
I wish to die, but enough with bullshit, I don't want to either. Personalities.. Voices. Different beings. They reside in me. I created a lie. And slowly, I packed onto it, but I grew that fire of guilt, but drenched the flames of emotion...
Death is relief. And now, my point of this bull, it's all my fault everything is happening to my friends, I take blame, and I'm ending myself with death.
- Lie Akito Shard
I'm sick of being this.. Stupid. I tried... And I failed...
Gomenasai. I'm so tired of thus fight, this dance of lies.
Think of me as a person, someone flying on paper wings, melded together by wax. The lies and emotions are the sun, and My wings are being melted, just like my sanity.
It takes a while to notice, pain drives you insane. And if more and more is piled upon you, insanity, disorders, thoughts, and lies will only be the children of that problem.
I'm what you call "ungrateful". I have a life, I'm "spoiled", I have things. A lot. Like a phone, iPod, iPad, TV, laptop, books, dog. Yeah, I'm so ungrateful. But it's not "I want more", it's I want less. I don't want fûcking presents, I want fûcking relief from emotional abuse and neglect.
Today's my birthday, the 20th of July. I'm turning, I think, 13. I'm quite glad. A year has passed, a year closer to death.
I wish to die, but enough with bullshit, I don't want to either. Personalities.. Voices. Different beings. They reside in me. I created a lie. And slowly, I packed onto it, but I grew that fire of guilt, but drenched the flames of emotion...
Death is relief. And now, my point of this bull, it's all my fault everything is happening to my friends, I take blame, and I'm ending myself with death.
- Lie Akito Shard
9 Comments
IS THIS A SUICIDE NOTE?!
Yes and no. I'm not complete...
Oh shït... Flagged your comment by accident! Forgive me.. Gomenasai... Stupid phone...
You need to talk to someone... You'e thirteen (err, happy birthday?), life has so much more to offer you. Not material things, experiences, people, memories... Fiendship is a two-way street, you can never fully cause something to happen, there is always the other person pushing toward the point too. What ever happened, can be forgiven and I mean what ever so anything can. Talk to these abusers, it's scay I know, but it is better relief than death because really, no one knows how it ends. Why thr
-ow your self into the unknown.
I really hope you're still online, I really hope you are reading these. I really hope you'll stay here until you're nice and calm.
I can stay up all night/day talking. What I want is for you to do he same. Please please be okay...
I'm staying till Wednesday. I won't miss a trip to LA...
It's only my parents and relatives...
First off. Happy birthday.
Second. Do you want to talk to anyone? I'm here now and we can talk if you need too. But I want you to understand that you can't give up your life. Just because life is being a damn bitch doesn't mean you let it continue to bark at you. You stand up for youself, show life that you're stronger than it. And if you prove life you can do it, then it may get better.
There's more than just the LA trip to your life... High school, college... A job. Boyfriends... Or girlfriends too maybe I guess if you go that way.
I know life sucks and it doesn't always get better, but that doesn't mean you should give up. I know you would think death is the one way to escape the hell we call life, but sometimes you have to let all the fear be your motivation to keep living. Life does have some good moments, don't let the bad things bring you down. Everyone deserves to live. I know i'm not your friend, but I just want to help. Sorry if this was no help to you. You can yell at me if it wasn't any help.
Ah....this is how you feel? Yeah I feel the same, but (this is really cliche) don't give up kay? Sometimes it makes it 10 times worse knowing you have a very privileged life and no reason to feel awful. Thats how it is with me anyway. Remember you are only human. It's okay to feel bad but it's also okay to stop caring just for a little forget everything, and just try and feel happy. Anyway, I get where youre coming from. Feel better.