JJ's Tales of Absolute Truth

The bear in the big blue house lived in Nebraska with his family of story telling lions. Those lions were like kids to him. So he abused them nightly and made them do slave labor. One day the lions found a genie lamp in the bears's nightstand while they were folding his golden boxers. So they rubbed it and were going to ask for 6 flags of fun when the genie refused to help them without an appoligie from Barney. They quickly stuffed the genie back in the drawer and walked away cause they wanted Barney all to themselves.
You see Barney was a strange purple dinosaur. He was convinced he was Santa clause. But not just Santa clause no no that wasn't enough for his jolly huge heart. He thought he was Santa clause/a doctor for abandoned pirates. And what does every pirate need...oranges!! So he gave them all oranges.
Everyone body wanted to throw their oranges at the new kids. Let's face it they were ugly and clumsy and not at all amusing. Even they knew it. Yes the tweenies were well aware they were hated. They were sick of always being compared to their more popular uncles the tellitubbies. They thought of a plan to get rid of them once and for all. So there they were.The tellitubbys were all eating custard in their little meadow when tinky winky came out with an ax and popped lala's bug inflatable ball. She was so upset she went on a rampage and destroyed the whole network. So Poe went onto a whole new network and kiddnapped Bob the builder and brought him to the scene of the crime
And they asked bob the builder "can we fix it"
And he said"yes we can"
But they couldn't. And then bulldozers and flamethrowers started falling from the sky and crushing little kids. So they all moved to Nebraska where nothing happens.
The end
(thank you Parawhore for helping me out with this)