Movie "Reviews" From A "Very Important Critic"
These aren't so much reviews as it is my opinions on different movies. Don't be hating, people can have different opinions. If yours differ from mine, that's perfectly fine. Feel free to post them in the comments--either nicely, so we can discuss them, or rudely, so I can argue with you.
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I have just come home from watching this movie. I learned a few things.
1. Hugh Jackman can sing!
2. Amanda Seyfried can sing!
3. It really is possible to have rivers of blood in the street.
4. Endings are SO much better when everyone dies!
5. If you're running low on cash, you can just go sell your body parts.
6. You can sing regular conversations without people looking at you like you're an idiot.
7. That Eddie What's-his-face kid that played Marvis or Mavis or whatever his name was...is REALLY cute. :)
My Reactions:
Movie starts
Me: Hmm, seems legit.
Ten minutes later
Me: turns to friend Are there gonna be any speaking parts or what?
Thirty minutes later
Me: Apparently not.
Hour later
Me: OH MY GOD why didn't this guy just leave the country before?!?! That would've solved a whole lot of problems!
Fifteen minues later
Me: God, how much longer could this movie BE? What other tragedies could happen to this poor guy!?
Friend: This whole thing has been asides. Nobody's had any conversations.
Me: laughs and turns to other friend This whole thing has been asides!
Marvis and his buddy come on
Me: O.O This movie just got a whole lot better
Friend: looks over at me
Me: looks over at friend and we have a moment while other friend scoffs
We realize Eponine loves Marvis
Me: sniff sniff T.T
Eponine dies
Me: ToT WAHHHHH
That little boy dies
Me: ...... :O noooooooooooooooooooooo that little boy was my friend!!!!!! He was the best character in this damn movie!!! How could you do that?!?!
Rebels die
Me: Dammit, really?!?!?! That was unnecessary! T.T
//Inspector flings himself from bridge/
Me and my friend: laugh at him (Terrible, but it's true, we laughed)
Whatever-his-name-was-aka-the-main-charrie dies
Me: REALLY. REALLY. You've got to be joking. You can't just sit there and kill the main character!!!!!!!! What, are Cosette and Marvis gonna have a kid next, and then they both die, and then that kid is left an orphan? Then the kid'll have this huge, powerful song about how he feels so alone and dead inside, and then turn to prostitution, and then the whole thing'll happen over again.
Movie's over
Me: Huh. Not bad.
All in all, I can see how it got such good ratings. But if you go in there expecting something like Grease, you're going to be disappointed. There was like five minutes of speaking parts (when they said that it was a musical, they weren't joking around) and nearly everyone died. But I guess it was okay.
And part of the allure of this movie to a bunch of fifteen/sixteen year old girls is trying to figure out exactly how the name of it is pronounced.
Les Misrebles? Las Mesribles? Les Misrableees? Les Meesrebles? I will never know.
1. Hugh Jackman can sing!
2. Amanda Seyfried can sing!
3. It really is possible to have rivers of blood in the street.
4. Endings are SO much better when everyone dies!
5. If you're running low on cash, you can just go sell your body parts.
6. You can sing regular conversations without people looking at you like you're an idiot.
7. That Eddie What's-his-face kid that played Marvis or Mavis or whatever his name was...is REALLY cute. :)
My Reactions:
Movie starts
Me: Hmm, seems legit.
Ten minutes later
Me: turns to friend Are there gonna be any speaking parts or what?
Thirty minutes later
Me: Apparently not.
Hour later
Me: OH MY GOD why didn't this guy just leave the country before?!?! That would've solved a whole lot of problems!
Fifteen minues later
Me: God, how much longer could this movie BE? What other tragedies could happen to this poor guy!?
Friend: This whole thing has been asides. Nobody's had any conversations.
Me: laughs and turns to other friend This whole thing has been asides!
Marvis and his buddy come on
Me: O.O This movie just got a whole lot better
Friend: looks over at me
Me: looks over at friend and we have a moment while other friend scoffs
We realize Eponine loves Marvis
Me: sniff sniff T.T
Eponine dies
Me: ToT WAHHHHH
That little boy dies
Me: ...... :O noooooooooooooooooooooo that little boy was my friend!!!!!! He was the best character in this damn movie!!! How could you do that?!?!
Rebels die
Me: Dammit, really?!?!?! That was unnecessary! T.T
//Inspector flings himself from bridge/
Me and my friend: laugh at him (Terrible, but it's true, we laughed)
Whatever-his-name-was-aka-the-main-charrie dies
Me: REALLY. REALLY. You've got to be joking. You can't just sit there and kill the main character!!!!!!!! What, are Cosette and Marvis gonna have a kid next, and then they both die, and then that kid is left an orphan? Then the kid'll have this huge, powerful song about how he feels so alone and dead inside, and then turn to prostitution, and then the whole thing'll happen over again.
Movie's over
Me: Huh. Not bad.
All in all, I can see how it got such good ratings. But if you go in there expecting something like Grease, you're going to be disappointed. There was like five minutes of speaking parts (when they said that it was a musical, they weren't joking around) and nearly everyone died. But I guess it was okay.
And part of the allure of this movie to a bunch of fifteen/sixteen year old girls is trying to figure out exactly how the name of it is pronounced.
Les Misrebles? Las Mesribles? Les Misrableees? Les Meesrebles? I will never know.
16 Comments
Cool!
I can't believe they killed that little boy,I threw popcorn at the screen when he died and almost cried cos he was soooooooooo adorable.My reactions were exactly same as yours,but I was waaaaaaaaaaay more confused why everyone died.
That little boy legitimately made my day, and then they killed him. I was mad at the evil french military guys!!!! And I just had my friends explain it all XD
You got a bunch of strange ideas from a beautiful movie.... XD
It's technically pronounced "Lay Mizerob." With an awesome accent. XD But it's spelled Les Miserables.
I get a lot of strange ideas from a lot of things. And I never said I didn't like the movie XD it was actually pretty good...just too much opera. And Taylor Swift was almost cast as Eponine... O.o whaaa...
THANK YOU. I finally understand.
I thought it was a sad story that makes everyone cry cos of miserable was in the title.
You are correct, ma'am. lol
Eddie Redmayne... I love him!
hahahahahha the guy's name is MARIUS and his buddy is Enjolras(i love HIM!) main character is Jean ValJean, and Hugh Jackman is a HUGE broadway star of course he can sing, Amanda Seyfried was in Mamma Mia so I knew she already sang, and little boys name is Gavroche :)))))) just informing you
Yeah, yeah... cough I...I totally knew that. cough
Actually, I realized his name was Marius about an hour after posting this but was too lazy to go change it. XD
Hahahahaha well said my friend, well said :-)
I laughed through all of this... XD
fistpump yes, mission accomplished! And these are my honest-to-god reactions. Being completely serious. XD
I heard somewhere that Rick Riordan has a tradition/superstition of not seeing the movie after reading (or writing) the book. I was so, so glad, because I had a feeling he'd either be terribly disappointed or terrifically amused at the idiots whom he appointed to turn his masterpiece into screenplay.
But yeah. Logan Lerman. XD XD XD
I can honestly say I had identical thoughts throughout both movies. XD Actually, after I left the theater from seeing Les Miserables, my mom was like "Wow, I didn't know the whole thing was going to be sung." and I just kind of died of laughter...XD
lol your mom sounds awesome XD
Psh, yeah! XD