How To Identify a Tom Hiddleston (From Urban Dictionary)

Chapter 1

Tom Hiddleston

by: yeee
Some sort of long forgotten mythical creature that has come to life to destroy us all.

Legend says he charms his victims with his smile and sweet personality so they don’t know he is actually putting a spell on them that will turn them into Hiddlestoners who will then do nothing but look at pictures of him and flail. He also appears to have the power to control women’s reproductive organs, either destroying them completely or sending them into baby-making overdrive. The only plausible reason for any of this is that he does what he wants.

Identifying a Tom Hiddleston:

-Power Stance-ing all over the damn place

-He will probably be wearing an entirely leather outfit.

-If he is sitting, his knees will be about 4 miles apart from each other

-You will hear the call of the ‘ehehehe’

-Constant lip licking

If you spot a Tom Hiddleston just stay calm, offer him some sort of pudding and back away slowly. Then run like you’re in a horror movie. He’ll probably catch you anyways(long legs are all the better to catch you with) but at least you tried.

Girl 1: sitting in front of a computer staring at a picture of Tom Hiddleston

Girl 2: Hey… you okay? pokes girl 1 in the arm

Girl 3: It’s no use. She watched Thor for the first time last night. She’s been like this since the first scene with Loki in it.

Girl 2: How could you let her watch that! You know what it does to people.

Girl 3: I tried to stop her! She wouldn’t listen to me!

Girl 2: Another friend lost to the Tom Hiddleston.

Girl 3: It was bound to happen eventually.

Girl 2: Oh no… we have to get out of here. I think shes starting up Wallander. tugs on Girl 3’s arm

Girl 3: Magnus… Maaaaaaagnuuuuusss…

Girl 2: NO!! GODDAMMIT NOOOO!

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Created by yeee

aleamellark's avatar
yeee
23
in my basement, prussia, DE
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