Two guys and a girl are stranded on a deserted island.
After a week the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing, she kills herself.
After another week, the two guys are so ashamed of what they are doing, they bury her.
After another week they are so ashamed of what they are doing, they dig her back up.
replied, "My moms dead, my sister is pregnant, my a55 hurts, and Dad... Well Dad's on the roof chasing the cat with a bottle of Vaseline."
One day a lady goes to her doctor and asks her how to get her husband to sleep with her more. The doctor leaves the room then returns with a little bottle and says, "Put one pill into his coffee everyday, the results are instant." The lady goes home and puts one into his coffee right away, and that night she got a little feel from her husband but nothing more. Disappointed, the next day she dumped in the whole bottle. Six months later the phone rings And the doctor asks, "Did they work"? The son
There were 3 dciks standing on the corner. They were talking about how hard there lives are. The first dcik said, "I have it the worst, my master plays with me all night." The second dcik said, "No, I have it much worse than you, my master strokes me all night." The third dcik says, "That's nothing, my master puts a plastic bag over my head, shoves me in a dark tunnel, and makes me do push ups until I puke."
A blonde, a brunet, and a red head are in the beauty parlor and they all ask the hair dresser what should they do cause there boyfriends have dandrift, so the hair dresser says "Give him head and shoulders" and the blonde respondes with "I don't know how to give shoulders!
TRUE STORY HAPPENED LAST WEEK LOL: my love buddy said " i have a job for you but it blows." c===3
The doctor lay in b.ed gazing at his lovely companion. "There's nothing wrong with this," he thought, "Lots of doctors slee.p wit.h their patients." Then he thought again, 'But I'm a veterinarian."
lol I don't know any! O_O, sorry! XD
erm, the best I've got is "i like doing things with my hands"
the cupcake joke
one day a dad and his lil boy were out and the lil boy saw 2 dogs under a tree doin "it". the lil boy asked his dad what were they doing the dad said makeing cupcakes.
the nxt day the lil boy asked his dad if he and his mom were makin cupcakes on the couch.the dad asked the boy how would u know if we were makin cupcakes on the couch?
the boy said cuz i licked all the icing off the couch.
hehe message me if u get this