An Armor to None
Let me know what you think- criticism is always highly welcomed!
My skin used to be an armor
and as courageous as I seemed
it was all just this facade
that made sleep make me feel like I could be redeemed.
But I was lost
and I wasn't me.
I didn't show weakness
but I sure as hell didn't show strength
for I kept to myself in the midst of war
and I kept everyone at arm's length.
Like I said- I was lost
and I wasn't me.
I don't know when that exactly happened
but I do know when it began to change
see it was a new start in a new place
with all these people who were also so strange.
We came from different backgrounds
and some of us knew how to speak in different tongues
but united we laughed and we cried
until sometimes we couldn't feel our lungs.
I was just starting to find my way
and I was just beginning to be myself.
When I met you though, most of that was established
for I grew more than you could have known within a year
but in the last eight or so months
it seems that even more is clear.
For before I still didn't show weakness
and I still sure as hell didn't show strength
but I was getting better
and no longer kept people at arm's length.
However, you changed how I approached that
for you opened my heart to a new world of possibilities
which ultimately softened my skin until I no longer had to carry the armor
and in your own hands you took my heart and secured it- wanting all those responsibilities.
I started to progress with finding my way
and I became less scared to find out who I am.
And as those recent months shifted into the present
my mind has yet to be anything but chaotic
and so many emotions still whirl inside
but now it's because my skin doesn't have that armor
and it's because I'm no longer lost
for you found me- and brought me to myself
and loved me for all of that and more
causing me to soften up and enjoy being in the comfort of yourself.
I know at times it makes you feel guilty
seeing all that I have going on inside my not so pretty head
and my oh so heavy heart
but I'm letting you know- what you did was save me- for I was before I met you- the living dead.
And because you saved me in that way, I'm no longer lost
and I'm someone who is starting to look a lot more like me.