101 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

101 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
read them their oberfunny!!!

Chapter 2

88-101

88. Diagram a love triangle: Edward <3 Jacob. Jacob <3 Bella. Bella <3 Edward.
89. When he plans his wedding, say, “You know, the leading cause of divorce is marrying too young.”
90. Suggest that the Cullen’s have more “family meetings.” Make a point not to invite Bella.
91. Tell Bella that her cooking skills will be wasted if she marries him.
92. Ask him if he’ll still love Bella once she’s a vampire and not clumsy anymore.
93. Give him your Divorce attorney’s card. Tell him it’s “Just in case.”
94. Skip around the house chanting, “Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree.”
95. Diagnose him randomly. “Maybe you have sleep apnea.” “You look anemic. Have you been getting enough red meat?” “Maybe it’s a vitamin D deficiency.” Ask Carlisle to back your suggestions up.
96. Invite small children to his house for ‘scary story time’.
97. Paint his room. Pink.
98. Ask if you’re going to be in the wedding party. Repeatedly. And frequently.
99. Wonder what to get him for a wedding present. “A mattress topper? No, that won’t work. A blender? No, wait…oh! A trip to Hawaii. Oh, never mind…”
100. Wave wooden crosses and strings of garlic at him randomly. When he asks what you’re doing, say, “I know I read this somewhere.”
101. Mail him a llama. When he asks why, say, “Why not?”

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