101 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

101 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
read them their oberfunny!!!

Chapter 3

when he's mad

80. When he tells you to stop say Stop what?
81. Take all of his CDs Replace them with songs from Disney movies.
82. Tell him that he and Bella should go on more real dates.
83. Ask him if he’s planning on having a vampire attack Bella every spring break. Mention that you know someone who would be willing to help this year.
84. Make a list of reasons why Bella should leave him. Make sure that you have one of them be Jacob. Enough said.
85. Roll in glitter. Run around saying, Look at me! I'm Edward! Im Edward!
86. Write him love poems. Sign them from Jacob.
87. Tell him that its perfectly acceptable to be an alternative couple with Jacob.
88. Diagram a love triangle: Edward <3 Jacob. Jacob <3 Bella. Bella <3 Edward.
89. When he plans his wedding say You know the leading cause of divorce is marrying too young
90. Suggest that the Cullen have more family meetings. Make a point not to invite Bella.
91. Tell Bella that her cooking skills will be wasted if she marries him.
92. Ask him if he'll still love Bella once she’s a vampire and not clumsy anymore.
93. Give him your Divorce attorney’s card. Tell him it’s Just in case.
94. Skip around the house chanting, Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree.
95. Diagnose him randomly. Maybe you have sleep apnea. You look anemic. Have you been getting enough red meat? Maybe it’s a vitamin D deficiency.Ask Carlisle to back your suggestions up.
96. Invite small children to his house for ‘scary story time’.
97. Paint his room. Pink.
98. Ask if you’re going to be in the wedding party. Repeatedly. And frequently.
99. Wonder what to get him for a wedding present. A mattress topper? No, that won’t work. A blender? No, wait…oh! A trip to Hawaii. Oh, never mind…
100. Wave wooden crosses and strings of garlic at him randomly. When he asks what you’re doing, say, I know I read this somewhere.
101. Mail him a llama. When he asks why, say, Why not?

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