Best AVPM and AVPS Quotes

Hey! I loveee AVPM and AVPS and herer are some of my fave quotes(:

Chapter 1


Lavander: "BII***htc, I ain't Cho Chang." Ron: "THATS LAVANDER BROWN! RAIST SISTER!"

Draco: "Now you're just being cute. I CAN'T GO TO PIGFARTS. IT'S ON MAAARS, YOU NEEED A ROCKETSHIP. Do you have a rocketship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died; Look at this. Rocketship Potter. Starkid Potter. Moooonshoes Potter. TRAVERSING THE GALAXY FOR INTERGALATIC TRAVELS TO PIGFARTS."

Voldemort: At-choo!
Dumbledore: Did your turban just sneeze?
Quirrell: Um, no! That... that was simply a fart!

Ron: I have all these pains in my chest I know it's her fault, that ***tch!

Draco: Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!

Malfoy: "Do we haave to fight? I'm tired. Can't we just be death eaters?"

Harry: How does Lost end?
Dumbledore: There are some things, Harry, even I don't know.

Draco: Am I, am I bleeding? Goyle?
Goyle: checks NO!

Voldy: Quirrellllll.... mannnnnnn......... listennnnnn!!!!!!!!!!

Harry: This year no way anyone's gonna DIE!

Harry: "Haven't you heard?! Voldemorts back, Quirels CRAZY, Cedric's DEAD..."
Hermione:"Yes, I have heard those things, about a thousand times. But never with so. much. SAsS. You're acting like Garfield on a Monday!"
Harry: GASP

Ron: Oh My god Hermione, SHUT UP!"

Ron: No it's not that. It's Hermione! It's just like, I can't get her out of my head. and everytime I look at her I get these pains in my chest and I just know it's her fault. That **ch!"

~~~~~~And there are soooo many more!!! Post your fave AVPM quotes in the bottom~~~~~~~~~~~


Snape: Where did the poster of Headmaster Zefron go?
Umbridge: don't care for Zac Efron. Taylor Lautner is my man.
Snape: What do you want, you horrid b

Umbridge: Did you get my text?
Whoever she/he's talking to: Yes
Umbridge: Well you didnt text me back.

Ron: Red Vines...What the h
*l can't they do?

Lupin: There's no way we're losing to Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Jigglypuff.

Umbridge: Did you get mah text?
Dumbledore: Yes! I got all nine hundred of them and I'm tired of you clogging my inbox!
Umbridge: Well you didn't text me back. ( i know its kinda the same but watevs)

Snape: Why that's absurd!
Lupin: You're absurd!
Snape: What?! SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

Seamus: So, you guys evuh hear the one ‘bout Serious Black and Flitwick’s littuh brotha? So, Flitwick’s littuh brotha’s walkin’ down the streets of Londuhn… And Serious Black, ‘e’s in this STORM DRAIN… Dressed as a CLOWN. An’ ‘e’s like, “Yo! Hey! Flitwick’s littul brothuh! Down ‘ere in this storm drain! It’s me! A clown!” And Flitwick’s littuh brotha’s like, “Yeah chap? Wutchoo want?” And Serious Black’s like, “Oh, Flitwick’s littul bruhva, you gotta get down this storm drain with me, ‘cause you’re. Missin’. Out! We’ve got a CARNIVUHL down ‘ere! We’ve got LOADS of cottuhn candy, and balloons!” And the kid practically flips, ‘e goes, “I gotta get down there… That sounds like a RIGHT TREAT THAT DOES!” So! ‘E reaches down his arm, right? But Serious Black… He grows ‘is mad teeth and ‘e BIOTES THE KIDS ‘EAD OFF! And two days latuh…That kid died.

Dumbledore: Disapparate!
Everyone: Ah! Magic!


Lupin: How much no proof is there now? Ah-ah! throws down corpse What you're looking at is the corpse of Peter Petigrew. The man thought to be killed by Sirius years ago! Can I get a time of death on this please?
Neville: Well I'm no corroner but, uh, looks like he was killed about ten minutes and, uh, thirty-six seconds ago.
Lupin: Thanks Neville. How could Sirius have killed him years ago if he's only been dead for ten and a half minutes?
Molly: Yeah! Why does he look all FRESHLY bloody. And MANGLED... And DIRTY.
Arthur: Yeah! How'd he end up like that. Lupin!
Molly: Yeah! Lupin!
Lupin: Yes! Probably the work...of that infamous Hogwarts...Jaguar.
Dumbledore: Makes sense to me!
Lupin: Yes! The Hogwarts jaguar... Responsible for so much property damage to Hogwarts this year! Especially in my office... coughcough* deep voice Lupin shouldn't have to pay for that...regular voice Yes...Who said that? ...Probably that jaguar! Bless his soft adorable paws that he trips over when he's running to fast....

Ron: Where have you been all my life?
Harry: Oh, in a cupboard under some stairs.

Malfoy: I… am a r((ist.Dean Thomas stands up, offended I despise gingers, and mudbloods, I hate gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?

Draco: Hey, Potter. Potter. Potter.´
Harry: What Malfoy?´
Draco: I drew a picture of you. Pay special attention to the shading on your sweater it´s.. rather
good. It´s.. quite good. You know... it´s probably the best I´ve ever
done. Actually... can I have that back? Wait... no... I´m TAKING IT! I´ve stolen your favorite drawing! Look, what do you think of this?
rips drawing gasp NO! Goyle paste it!

Snape: I wanted to take your mom's b**ddbies and put them on my face, and go: BLGHBLRRGHBLRBGHLRGHBL

Umbridge: "So tell me sorting hat, are you team edward or team jacob?"
Hat: I'm Team Dumbledore!
Umbridge: What!? Dumbledore isn't a fictional character!

Harry: “I got this scar when I was a baby. I was in the car with my parents when we crashed… into a crocodile. My parents got eaten, but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar. At least that's what my liar Aunt and Uncle told me. “

Lucius: “She choreographed an affadir behind my back with someone I trusted, someone I may have even loved….”
Harry: "Ollivander?"
Hermione: "Filch?"
Ron: "Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother?"
Yaxley : "Me?!"

Lucius: flying across strage "HOW DAAARRREEE YOOOOU!"

Draco: “Daddy! Daddy! You came to love me!!”~~~~~~~especilally this one!!!~~

Umbridge: Guess who's new Headmaster at Hogwarts?
Snape: Me?
Ron: Snape?
Umbridge: Me!

Hermione: Nearly 600 House Elves die in toilet related accidents each year!

The Ron/Hermione, Spiderman metaphor.
‎"And that rehead.. MARYJANE.. she cares a lot about him.. even if he is just a nerdy potato-face loser. And she knows, deep down... miles beneath those... enormous brea))ts of hers... there's something special."

~~~~ and AGAIN so many more!! post your faves in the comments~~~~~


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