Mary Sues and Incorrect Grammar

I'm not trying to be mean . . . this just really annoys me.

Chapter 1

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Do y'all know who Mary Sue is? Let me explain:
Name: Mary Sue
Age: 13
Personality: Friendly and cheerful, and everyone on earth loves her!
Looks: perfect golden hair that falls in curls to her shoulders, and blue eyes that sparkle.
Family: Mom and Dad and a wonderful baby brother!
Friends: Why, everyone loves her!
Let's write a story about Mary Sue, shall we?

Mary Sue walked into her English classroom that morning. "Hi, Mary Sue!" everyone chorused cheerfully. "Hey, everyone!" she said back, smiling and waving. As she walked to her desk, all the boys looked at her and blushed. They all had a crush on Mary Sue! The English teach had the assignment on the board. Write a paragraph about your worst flaw. Mary Sue cocked her head to the side. Flaws? But she didn't have any! She was absolutely perfect in every way. Little birds sang on her shoulder, and wild deer approached her and let her pet them! Mary Sue was absolutely perfect! She squinted at her paper and tapped her pencil to her lips, thinking. Finally, deciding that the assignment was stupid, she put in big letters on her paper, "NONE!" She turned it in, and the teacher exclaimed, "Oh, Mary Sue! How incredibly true!" Then all the children clapped their hands and danced in a circle around Mary Sue.

Now, this is probably what you're thinking: What a hate able character! Very true. I can't stand Mary Sues, and as soon as I see stories with them, I turn around 180 degrees. So, therefore, Mary Sues are a big problem. No one is actually like that. Everyone has flaws, even story book characters and princesses. So, just be original and creative when creating a character. Please. I beg of you.

Onto my next issue!

For this, let's write a short fanfiction. Twilight, anyone?

hi my name is jazmin monroe and i am sixteen years old. i like playing outside reading and meeting new ppl! my mom made me mov to this awfull town forks washington and it's reigny and drab. i didnt want to go but she made me. on my 1st day ever there I met this pale guy named emmett. he was uber muscley and uber hotttttttt. omfg hes like my idol justin beiber! he said hey baby im a vamp wanna have sxxxxxx? i said omfg I luvvvvv vamps! there uber hot and kewl lol. he took me back to his lair and told me i sparkle in the sun. i slapped the btch and said ew gaywad! ur soooooo gay! no real man sparkles! (lol im fuuny lyk dat) so i left and met a new vamp named alice who wuz a lezbo. (lol see i changed things up) she kidnapped me bcuz she wuz evel and turned me into a vamp. i screamed noooooooo it hurts alot! she just laffed, fvcking btch. after i wuz a vamp i went back to emmet and we had steemy hotttttttt vamp sxxxxxx lol.

See what I mean? I was literally gagging as I wrote that piece of shit. First off, DETAILS! If I was serious about writing that, I could've made that at least four pages long. Second off, GRAMMAR! No one t@lk$ lyk d!$ !n r3@l l!f3 l0l. So don't! Use quotation marks to indicate speech, and this is how it should be done. "Hey guys, my name is GraceAnne!" she said. Or, "I'm bored," she sighed. Notice the comma after bored and before the quotes. That's how you do it if you add "she said" or "he exclaimed" If you do something like:

She exclaimed, "Well, I don't know." ADD THE PERIOD! There is no thought after those quotes, that is the end of the sentence. Don't do this, though:

"Do you know?," or "I'm tired!," THATS WRONG! If it's an exclamation point or question mark, just leave it, like this:

"Do you know?" she asked OR "I'm tired!" he exclaimed.

Now, for my final example, here's one more story about . . . I don't know, fish! Like in Finding Nemo or something where they talk.

"Rex! Where's Deborah?" Remy asked.
"I'm not sure, Remy," Rex said.
"Well, she has to be around here somewhere," Remy said, frowning.
"Well, this is an issue," Rex said, frowning too.
"I suppose it is," Remy said.

STOP! Look at the phrases after the quotes. Asked, said, said, said, said. Mix it up! Don't say "said" or "asked" after everything! Bo-ring! Use "exclaimed" or "mused" or "pressed" or "argued." I'm just saying.

Well, now that my Grammar Nazi self is gone, I think I'll leave.

I'm not trying to be mean, just help people and point out mistakes to some people. Thank you for reading this probably really boring thingy.

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