Random One-Shots

So, yeah, ignore this if you must. Just some ideras I really wanted to write down.

Chapter 1

Lips Of An Angel

I am Glados. I used to be a homicidal robot, until a moronic robot named Wheatley decided it'd be best if we were both human. I mean, I turned him human first, to torture him, but the idiot just had to go and push a button. In short, I fell in love with the idiot, he kissed me, we lived together for a while with George the robot-turned-toddler, Fact the robot-turned-teen and Rick the robot-turned-adventurer, we fought, then I left with Fact and George. Now, three years later, I'm living in an apartment in the city.

"Sp... space." I smiled at little George. He looked so much like Wheatley with his red hair and freckles. Then it seemed like he inherited his cute little pig nose from me. When I take him places, women oggle over him, saying he must look like his father. I just chuckle, because I have no idea. He was in kindergarten now. School in the mornings. I had taken both Fact and George with me. So Wheatley and his new girl, Chell, could have 'alone time' now. They'd have had kids by now if they needed that much alone time.

Chell used to be our friend. Before that she was the most annoying human and the hardest thing to kill. Now she's back to being the most annoying human ever. She's currently living with Wheatley in the house he and I used to own. I hadn't had any contact with them in the past few years, because I'm a bit too much of an alcoholic- used to be. I used to be an alcoholic. I only drink when I'm sad now. Of which I was last night. I had woken up at three in the morning hungover.

I couldn't help it anymore, I was going to call him. "Hello?" Hearing his stupid british accent for the first time in a long time, it brought me to tears.

"Wh-Wheatley? It's me... Glados."

"Glados? Why're you calling me so early in the morning!" He started whispering. "It-it's kinda hard to talk right now..."

"I'm sorry, it's just been so long since we've talked."

"Oh, why are you crying, luv? Is everything okay?"

"I thought Chell was your new 'luv'." I said, sniffing.

"Well, true, but seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's just..." I couldn't tell the truth. It was beneath me. "I wanted to know if you, Rick and Chell wanted to come visit for the weekend. To see how much George and Fact grew up. You should see Fact," I laughed. "His friends forced him to get purple streaks in his hair, he looks quite handsome."

"Sure, I'd love to, but..."

I sighed. "Chell?"

"Mm... I really wanna see the kids, and you. Rick would love to see you, I know that." He growled.

"Wheatley, don't be so hard on Rick. You shouldn't care about my love life anyways, if I'm out of yours," I sighed. "Why are you whispering?"

"Chell. She's asleep. Wouldn't wanna wake her."

"Whatever, just go back to bed."

"Well, okay. See you in a couple of days, hopefully."

"Yeah, I know this great karaoke place we can all go to. I can leave Fact home to babysit George. No drinks, promise. Haven't had one in a long time," If a long time means five hours ago. There were so many lies in this conversation. "Good night, Wheatley."

"I'll call you in the morning, luv. Hopefully with good news," I yawned. "Sweet dreams." He hung up the phone. I sat back against the wall, listening to the beeping of the phone.

"This isn't going to end up well, you know that well."

"I knew you were listening, Fact," I turned the phone off and looked at him. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I should, but I couldn't help but hear your sobs from the living room." Our apartment is cramped. One bedroom and a pullout fouton bed.

"They weren't sobs." He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, just, may I tell you something?"

"Will I regret it?"

"Most likely," He stood up from leaning in the doorway. "But I want you to know the facts. Just because you and Wheatley are still friends, doesn't mean you and Chell are. Or for that matter, you and Rick. This might just turn out horribley wrong."

"You don't think I know that?"

"From the way you've been acting the past few years, and the tone of his voice on the phone, neither of you have gotten over the other."

"So? He's happier now. Not having to drag me out of a bar anymore, not having to- No, he still has to deal with Rick. He's a huge flirt. He doesn't have to deal with me, who thought a good present for a two year old has a turret."

"No matter. You should get some rest. I'd like to see the outcome of this endeavour of yours." I threw a pillow at him, but he closed the door before it could reach him. I sighed and slipped under the covers.

"Why does he have to be right?" I put an arm over George and drifted to sleep.


I woke to George jumping on my back. "Mommy!" I groaned. "There's someone on the phone for you." Who would phone me in the mornings? Not like I... Then I remembered last night and hurried to grab the phone. It wasn't in it's usual spot.

"Looking for this?" Fact held up the phone. I grabbed it and almost smashed it up to my ear.




"Hi, Chell said we could go. We'll see you tomorrow, ten thirty on the dot."

"Morning or night?"

"Morning. Can't wait to see you."

"Great," I thought about what I dreamt of. "Wheatley, this is really pathetic to say, but I dreamt of you."

"Yeah, I dreamt of you, too, actually."


"Your smile looks stupid." I kicked Fact then turned away and started getting George ready for school.

"Wow, okay, see you tomorrow, then? I'd keep talking, but the company can't exactly wait for it's CEO all day."

"You? A CEO? Of what company?"

"GoodGunz, the gun company. We're testing out a new model today. It's gonna be fun!" I squealed.

He laughed. "Good luck with that, see you."

"Bye," I said. "Tell Rick I said furk you, okay."

"Same old Glados, will do." He hung up and I let the phone fall from my neck.

"You really do seem like a lovesick school girl right now."

"Just go warm up the car."

"We're late, by the way." I looked at the clock and saw that it was eight o'clock.

"Oh, shoot!"


The next day, at exactly ten thirty there was a knock on the door. I hadn't kept track of time, and was in the shower. "Fact! Can you get the door? It must be Wheatley and the others." I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. Immediately when I get into the hallway, I was pushed up against the wall.

"Well, hey there, little lady. Looks like city life has been treating you good."

"It's well. And yes, it has," I grinded my teeth together. "You get my message yesterday, Rick?"

"Yes, I quite enjoyed hearing from you again, even if it was so rude." I pushed him off.

"Well, go into the living room. I need to get changed-" I ran into Wheatley who was just rounding the corner. "Oh, hi, Wheatley. I'd hug you, but I seem to have just gotten out of the shower." His face was red as a tomato.

"Oh... Yeah, h-hi, Glados."

"Oh, please? Have you really forgotten you've seen me in less?" I coldly regarded Chell with a nod. "I need to change. Can't exactly prance around the city with this on," I went and got into a t-shirt and jeans. When I went back out, Wheatley was playing rocketships with George. I smiled. "I see that didn't take long."

I sat on the ground behind George and put him on my lap. "He's grown so much."

"Mm, see how much you've missed in three years?"

"I'm kind of sad I have," Chell cleared her throat. "But, I still loved spending time with Chell, of course." I nodded. Chell had him whipped.

"Of course."

He reached out and touched my hair. "It's gotten so long."

"That's kinda what hair does over a long period of time, Wheatley."

"Right, well. Are you going to take us on a tour of town?"

"Sure," I got up, putting George on the ground. "Just have to get George ready."

"Is that my daddy?" George said as I put his rocketship rain jacket on. It was raining outside, and I didn't want him catching a cold- God, I am so much more different than when I was a robot- The question shocked me.

"Wh-what would make you say that?"

"Well, Kyle Cross, this boy in my class, says that all kids have mommies and daddies that look like them. He looks like me. Fact told me so, Fact's always right."

"Fact, huh?" I growled. "Well, he isn't... Exactly... Your father... I'll tell you when your older." He really could not remember his robot life. Honestly, mine was starting to slip off, as well.

"Okay, where are we going?"

"For a walk."

"Can we look at the stars?" I laughed.

"No, honey, the stars are only out at night," I picked him up and slipped my flats on. "Okay, let's go."


For the rest of the day we were showing them around town, including introducing them to my fanbase. Guns are really popular. Especially girns with guns, of which I am. Then it was five. Time to head out with the adults to the karaoke bar.

"Okay, here's fifty bucks for food, and anything else," I gave the money to Fact. "I know you won't spend it irresponsibley, but, please, this is the first time I've left George alone, and I don't want anything to happen-"

"Don't worry, just get into that new dress you bought yesterday to impress them and have fun. you really need it, trust me." I rolled my eyes as he pushed me into my room.

I slipped into my orange one-shoulder dress. It was short and had folds on the shoulder. It made me seem taller than I really was, that's the reason I bought it, because I'm short. I was also going to buy high heels, but decided against it when I found out I couldn't even stand in them without tripping. Instead I had black flats with yellow paisley patterns on the side.I curled my hair, but decided against any makeup.

Someone knocked on the door. "Glados, lu-" A loud thump. "Ow, uh, Glados?" It was Wheatley. Chell, too, most likely. "You ready yet?"

I opened the door. "Yes."

"Oh... Oh wow, Glados, you look-"

"Down right seexy-" I kicked Rick's leg and smiled.

"Thanks, Wheatley. I don't know what you were going to say, but it was a nice gesture."

"You look pretty, mommy!" I smiled down at George.

"Thank you, Georgie. Now, you be good for Fact, okay?" He nodded. I looked up at fact reading on the couch. "And Fact, can you-"

"Just go... Mom." I grinned. He refused to call me that. He knew about our past robotic bodies. Why he chose now to call me mom, I don't know, but I was happy.

"O-okay," I turned to the others. "Let's go."


So we got there, and Chell and Wheatley were attached almost the whole time. I rolled my eyes, and didn't realize Rick had pushed me onto the stage. "Wha...?"

"Just sing the lyrics, little lady, you'll do great."

"What? No-" The music started and I had to sing. "Uh... Are you ready? Let's dance.. Oh, baby! I know you like me, I know you do. That's why whenever I come around, she's all over you. And I know you want it, it's easy to see..." I started getting into the music.

"Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me!" Even though I was a horrible dancer, I danced. People were cheering. It was only near the end I figured out Chell and Wheatley weren't together anymore. Chell was glaring at me. Wheatley had dissapeared.

"That was..." The girl looked at me. "What was your name, again?"

"Oh, Glados..."

"That was Glados, with Doncha by the Pussycat Dolls." Everyone cheered and Rick patted my back as I came down.

"What was that for?" I had realized the context of the song was aimed towards Chell, Wheatley and I's relationship.

"Eh, I've tried for you, might as well let you be happy in some way."

I smiled as we went back to our seat. "Wait, where's Wheatley?" I said, as a familiar song came on. Rick pointed to the stage. There was Wheatley. At the mic. Looking right at me.

"Honey why are you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying, is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud," I gasped. He was an amazing singer. I new what he meant with this song, and I was almost crying.

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me?
Will it start a fight?
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late?"

He was still looking at me as the girl announced his name to the crowd. Still looking at me when the crowd went into an uproar. The whole time I was looking at him. Trying to figure out why.

"So... Chell... I'd just like to say..." She held up a hand and left. "Chell!"

"She can fend for herself. She's strong. She knew this would happen, just like Fact and I did. We were discussing it when you two were playing with George." Rick said. I bit my lip and looked at Wheatley.

"Wheatley... I-" I was cut off by a kiss.

"You don't have to say a word, luv."

"Oh," I kissed him back. "I missed you so much these past few years."


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