I thought you loved me! (an original poem by me.) ( Warning WILL BE PRETTY SAD)

Ok having a depressed moment right now so dont judge me based on this poem its just some random things i feel i need to get out there.

Chapter 1

I thought you loved me!

I thought you loved me!
I thought you cared!
I thought you said you'd always be there!
Now I'm here and your not
And I'm in the worlds worst pain
For what you did to me.
I'm sure no one would understand my pain.
How could they?
You never told them you loved them.
You never told them you cared.
You never told them you'd always be there.
You told me those things and now you're gone,
You ran away.
You ran away from the commitment
You ran away from my pain.
You didn't want to always be there.
You didn't want to love me.
You didn't want to care.
I thought you loved me.
Now I know you don't care.
Otherwise you'd always be there,
Waiting for my return,
Waiting for my love,
Waiting for my care.
So do you love me?
Do you care?
Will you really be there?
The answer is always there
Torturing me
Worse than pulling my hair.
Worse than losing my air.
That answer will always be there,
Echoing in my mind.
No.
Thats what you said,
When you decided to rip my heart out,
Crushing it into a million pieces.
I lost my reason to live
Because I really did love you.
I really did care.
And I meant it when I said I would always be there.
But now I'm here,
Holding a knife to my throat.
The tear stained knife slowly makes its way through.
While your sitting there laughing with the next girl you had seen after me.
And now I'm gone.
No ones crying.
But no ones laughing either.
No ones noticing the pain in my heart.
So does this mean no one loves me?
Does this mean no one cares?
Does this mean I will always be there.
But always alone?
Well If it does then I don't want to live.
I dont want to love.
I don't want to care.
And i never want to be there.
Because you never loved me.
You never cared.
You would never be there,
Waiting for me to care,
Love,
And be there with you.
Laughing,
Smiling,
Crying tears of joy.
Because,
You said you loved me.
You said you cared.
You even said you'd always be there.

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