Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

Chapter 1

First 35

RULE 1:I will noit poke Hufflepuffs with spoons,nor will i indicate they are "covered in bees"

RULE 2:No matter how good a fake austrailian accent i can do,i will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

RULE 3:Growing Marijuana or halluccinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology

RULE 4:"I've heard every possible joke from Oliver Wood's name"is not a challenge

RULE 5:Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate

RULE 6:I will not goto class skyclad

RULE 7:The Giant Squidis not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

RULE 8:I will not use Umbridge's quill to write:"i told you i was hard core."

RULE 9:I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Mrytle an eyeful"

RULE 10:Polishing my wand in the Common Room is acceptible,"Polishing my Wand"in the Common room is not.

RULE 11:If a classmate falls asleep,i will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

RULE 12:House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

RULE 13:Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is tastless and tack,not a clever money project

RULE 14:I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as alubricant.

RULE 15:'Liften Separatus Crochum' is not a real spell

RULE 16:I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.

RULE 17:(my fave!!)Seamus Finnegan is not 'after me lucky charms'

RULE 18:i will not refer the Weasle twins as bookends(Bookends:the identicle ends of bookcases)

RULE 19"I will not refer the Patil twins as bookends

RULE 20:I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts Kenny,even if he is wearing orange onarak.

RULE 21:there is no such thing as were-thylocine

RULE 22:I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast am scripts

RULE 23:I will not bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination class

RULE 24:I will not place anything with Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves

RULE 25:tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine,iven if i yell"Pwned!"

RULE 26:I am not a sloth Animagus

RULE 27:I am not a tribble Animagus

RULE 28:I am allowed to have a cat,rat,owl,and toad.I am NOT allowed to have a retriculated python,snow lepard,tasmanian devil,or a pirhanna

RULE 29:I do not weight the same as a duck

RULE 30:Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

RULE 31:I do not have a Dalek Patronus

RULE 32:I will not EVER lick Trevor

RULE 33:I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is/

RULE 34:the Ravenclaws are not"Mentantsin Training"

RULE 35:Any resembalance between dementors and Nazgul are completely coincidential

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