Translated-Don't Stop Believing (Hogwarts Story) By Danni_ and Twilight_Alli

So we all know that this is completely unreadable so i think i'm going to try my best to translate it....I'll post each chapter and then translate each sentence one by one...you'll see!

I'll also be adding commentary)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hey! my name is Andrea Melena Chastity July Apple D'Hart! but every1 names me Alli bcuz its shortaer. (Hi! My name is Andrea Melena Chastity July Apple D'Hart! Everyone calls me Alli because its shorter)

mi hair is relly long and is just above mi butt so peeple can seee mi butt bcuz its nice. it is yellow and blande. im not pale or tand just regler and ever1 calls mi prerty bcuz they know i am. i am wisked skinny and hav nice carves in gud places!!1!! (My hair is really long and is just above my butt so people can see my butt because its nice. It is yellow and blonde (or maybe bland...cuz that's what this story is) I'm not pale or tan just regular and everyone calls me pretty because they know I am (again MARY SUE!). I am (really?!?) skinny and have nice curves in good places!)

im a 5 year at hogwarts but im allmost a 6 year bcuz im about 2 turn 16 & im relly smart! and it is mi 1st day back at hobwarts 2day. (I'm a 5th year at Hogwarts but I'm almost a 6th year because I'm about to turn 16 (she realizes its the beginning of the year and she won't be a 6th year until next year no matter if she's sixteen or not right?!?) and I'm really smart (can you spell really right then?)

im a gryffindore & im freinds with Sparkle Mousse (she us 2 b hermoine but she h8td her name) butt we calls her sammi and i m freinfs wif harri and Ron 2. i think Rron is cuute and i wan him 2 assk me out sooon!!!1 (I'm a Gryffindor (OMG she's writing a HP fanfic and can't even spell Gryffindor) and I'm friends with Sparkle Mousse (seriously!) who used to be Hermione but she hated her name. We call her Sammi (how do you get Sammi from Sparkle Mousse) and I'm friends with Harry and Ron too. I think Ron is cute and I want him to ask me out soon.)

i went down 2 braefast and 8 a bunch of grapes bcuz tey tste gud and keep me skirny butt then i sawed a reelly pretry gal named steph butt since she wuz emo i filched her off wif my midle finga!! she saw my petty ring an yelld out "i lik ur ring bitcvh!!!!" (I went down to breakfast and ate a bunch of grapes because they taste good and keep me skinny but then a saw a really pretty gal named Steph but since she was emo I (? idk what she's saying) her off with my middle finger. She saw my pretty ring and yelled out "I like your ring bitch!" (this story is so offensive))

thx!" i shotted bak ("Thanks!" I shouted back.)
"hu u yellin at Alli??" ron assed me while drikning sum fairtwiskey and geting drunck ("Who are you yelling at Alli?" Ron asked me while drinking some firewhiskey and getting drunk.)
"de emu slu't" in da corner i sad quiectly so sammi wudnt here bcuz she gets jellos eezi.ly bcuz we r besties!!!!1 (The emo slut (seriously? I thought they were friends?) in the corner" I said quietly so Sammi wouldn't hear because she gets jealous easily because we are besties! (how would Hermione [I'm refusing to call her Sammi or Sparkle Mousse.] get jealous about you calling a girl a slut?))
"i c" ron licked at her wisly ("I see." Ron looked at her wisely.)
and i shotted to him "dunt lookat her!!! lick at mee!!!" and he did... (And I shouted to him "DON'T LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT ME!" and he did.)

l8r i wet down 2 Car of Manical Kreachers and saw proffesar Dumbrige teching cuz hour normusual texcher hargrid had a hedache bcuz she drank to much buttbeer da ni8ght b4 and wuz hugdover. (Later I went down to Care of Magical Creatures (she so fd (i know how to spell its just that quibblo won't let me say that) that up) and saw Professor (its either Umbridge or Dumbledore...not sure) teaching because or normal (she tried saying normal and usual here and got confused.) teacher Hagrid had a headache because he drank to much butterbeer the night before and was hungover)

2day our classs had to giv Dumbridges pet gigant Grawap a spong.e bathe bcuz he smellt & she fograt to change his d and da Slytherfins came down to da dungins bcuz dats were we r havin the class 2day bcuz it is rainin out in da skiy. [hargrid is a mistrerstood lil gril] (Today our class had to give (again its either Dumbledore or Umbridge)'s pet giant Grawp (he's Hagrid's half brother and Umbridge doesn't know about him! Nor would she be teaching CoMC!) a sponge bath because he smelled and she forgot to change his diaper (?) and the Slytherins came down to the dungeons because that's where we are having the class today because its raining outside (that stops you from having class why? and why in the dungeons?)

it wuz only 1 slifferfin rite now cuz de othars r still eetin in da grate halk 4 breakfats & i saw da streph gal and harri wuz chacing her!!!1 (It was only one Slytherin right now because the others are still eating in the Great Hall for breakfast. I saw the Steph gal and Harry was chasing her! (oddly out of character hmm?)

i through my spunge that i wuz washin Grawap with at harri and told him nut to be a dmbass and chace peeple. he lispened 2 meh & washed the gigant (I threw my sponge that I was washing Grawp with at Harry and told him not to be a dumbass and chase people. He listened to me and washed the giant.)

wen class wuz ova i wet 2 steph & apologhised 4 harri bing a weid guy & told hetr he wuz porbably drunk agani (When class was over I went to Steph and apologized for Harry being a weird guy and told her he was probably drunk again (when was he drunk before?))

"its k" she sobbed bcuz she wuz scared if me and is depersd and emu so she crieds alot. ("Its ok." She sobbed because she was scared of me and is depressed and emo (emu lol!) so she cries a lot.)

we wakled up 2 da grate hal 2getha and i saw ron crying so i yelld at hirm he lookd up (We walked up to the Great Hall together and I saw Ron crying so i yelled at him (nice thing to do for the kid who is crying...she likes him too so why is she being so rude) and he looked up.)

"hi alli!!!1" he sad and laffed ("Hi Alli!" he said and laughed.)
i rolled over ta him and we strated kiscsing on top of da hufflepug tables and we got an applaudience and then we stops bcuz i saw sammi crying!!!!1 (I rolled (rolled? Is she lauren lopez?) over to him and we started kissing on top of the Hufflepuff table. We got an applaud and then we stopped because I saw Sammi crying!)

"wutz rong sammi?" i asked loudly wile ron kisssed my lipz 4 me ("What's wrong Sammi?" I asked loudly while (this makes no sense...she can't talk loudly while being kissed))
"im failng math!!!!1" she sayud cring as rom frenchd me arm 4 me ("I'm failing math! (you mean Aritmancy?) she said crying (again this makes no sense...i'm not even going to try)
"i no!!!1" i scremmed!! and pointered ova 2 da slytherfin tables @ steph ("I know!" I screamed and pointed over to the Slytherin tables at Steph)
"shes gud at math!! and sammi went ova to talk to her while ron and i kisswed longa until proffsessor McG came ova and split us up. robn wuz put at da ravencluw tarble in time-ot and i went on the gryfindore table. ("She's good at math!" And Hermione (there is no f-in way Hermione is failing Arithmancy!) went over to talk to her while Ron and I kissed longer until Professor McGonagall came over and split us up. Ron was put at the Ravenclaw table in time-out (he's 15 not 5) and I went to the Gryffindor table.)

sammi got ova to the slifferfing table ansd sat nxt 2 streph! (Hermione got over to the Slytherin table and sat next to Steph.)

[AN: i hop u licked th stroy !!! buck to dfanni!~!!!1]
[AN: I hope you liked the story! Back to Danni!]

My own author's note!
I DID NOT WRITE THIS! THIS IS A STORY BY Danni_ and Twilight_Alli
I found it funny and decided to try to Translate it from Turtle to English.

Thanks so much guys!
Natalie

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