Snorts, Laughter and Blank Looks- Weird Made Up Stories Designed To Amuse People

Just some short stories to make people snort :P Enjoy!

Chapter 4

All You Need For A Man

The girl smiled sweetly as she strode through the village, her curls bouncing with each step. Her teeth were a pearly white, her eyes a baby blue and her lips a soft pink. Her nose was in a pefect curve, her body tall and the right shape-

In short, Frederica was perfect. All the boys blinked as she walked past and looked on with gaping mouths.

"Frederica!" one called. He was a particularly handsome one. Big green eyes, pink hair, a blue mouth...

"Oh, Joshua!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes madly.

"Oh, Frederica!"

"Oh, Joshua!"

"I loooooveee you, Freddie!"

The girl paused and tapped her chin with her long, pink nails. "Don't call me Freddie."

"Everything you want, my dove."

She beamed at him and blew him a kiss. He glanced around the crowd, rather embarrassed, and then dragged her away.

"Frederica Georgiana Theodora Nerdia Pinky Bubbles, I love you and-"

"I love you too, Joshie," Frederica interrupted, giggling madly.

He tutted and started over. "Frederica Georgiana Theodora Nerdia Pinky Bubbles, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me, Frederica?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, snatching the diamond ring he'd been holding up and shoving it into her finger. "About time, too!"

He blinked. "Er, what?"

"I meant: yes, Joshie! I love you, Joshie!"

Joshie nodded in satisfaction and a week later, Frederica Georgiana Theodora Nerdia Pinky Bubbles became Frederica Georgiana Theodora Nerdia Pinky Bubbles-Joshua-Princely.

.........................................................................................................................................

Frederica tapped the table impatiently. "Joshie, when is the last time you bought me something?" she complained.

Joshua grunted. "Later, love."

"But-"

"I said later!" he groaned.

"B-but Josssshieeee! Minnie needs a new outfit!" Frederica said, a large pout on her face as she pointed at Minnie, her chihuahua, who was dressed in a pink frilly skirt.

"I don't care about Minnie!" Joshua roared. How could he have known Frederica would be so difficult and demanding?

Frederica narrowed her eyes, but held her mouth. Joshua turned around and she picked up his favorite club...

...and hit him.

"I'm tired of your pink hair that curses with your green eyes and blue frog-lips, Joshie!"

......................................................................................................................................

Frederica dragged Joshua through the dirt in the garden, a shovel over her shoulder and Minnie trotting along with her, her tail wagging happily.

The girl dropped her husband, took the spade she'd carried with her and started digging in the ground. After a few hours of toiling, a man sized hole occured.

Frederica smiled. "You know, Minnie, a woman once said that a man was like a deck of playing cards...All you need is:

A heart to love him.

A diamond to marry him.

A club to smash his fvking head in.

And a spade to bury the bastard."


The End

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