Mercy's advice column: Subject : Crushes
Yup, the first post for my advice column on here is up.
The subject is the most common one I see people asking about, their crushes, so I figured that would be a good place to start.
An important thing to note about this, is that it won't cover every situation, but it will cover the basics, so to speak.
It's next to impossible to cover everything in detail in a pretty much generic post like this.
But this will help answer basic questions.
Here goes: Crushes
The first and foremost rule I feel is important with a crush: If you think they like you based on their actions and what you are told by mutual friends, then they most likely do
If your crush shows signs of liking you
If the person you have a crush on flirts with you, jokes with you, and takes the time out to talk or hang out with you, those are the usual signs that they like you too.
However, the only true way to know how they feel is to ask them.
This takes courage, I know, but it's the best and most honest way to know.
You must ask them yourself.
There are a few big reasons for this:
1. You hear it directly from the source
2. Your crush then knows you have the confidence and courage to ask directly.
3. Your crush could easily be just as shy as you are, and so in taking the initiative of asking yourself, you'll be able to save both of you from wondering.
If your crush does like you in return, then asking yourself is the fastest way to turn a crush into an actual relationship.
Now, there are cases where a crush is already dating somebody else.
This gets a little more complicated, and an advice column like this won't be able to go in depth on every situation.
The best I can say about this, is that if your crush is dating somebody else, then you have to consider that they have feelings for their boyfriend or girlfriend.
If they're dating somebody else, and are flirting with you, it most commonly means one of two things:
A: They like you, but are afraid of ending up completely single, if they end their relationship.
This one ties in with the fear of rejection. If you've never told your crush that you like them, and they like you too, then they may simply be scared that you'd reject them.
B: They're potentially a player.
Often, I hate to say it, when I see someone who's already in a relationship flirting with somebody else, it's a sign that they cheat.
That being said, I've also seen cases of the first option as well.
It really just depends on the person.
A person who cheats will mostly likely lie to you about it. The best way to know if your crush is a cheater is to ask their exes the reason why their relationship ended. An ex will tell you the truth, and whether or not your crush is worth chasing after.
If your crush shows no signs of liking you
Often this means that they just don't know you.
If you have rarely even talked to your crush, then they really wouldn't know much about you.
The simple solution to this is to talk to your crush more often, and to get to know them. I'm not saying to tag along after them every hour of the day, but to gradually find ways to get to know your crush better. After all, it's hard to like someone who you don't know.
If you do know your crush, and talk to them, then it could be just a sign that they're not interested in dating.
I can't really say the reason your crush may not be interested in dating you, cause reasons for that always vary.
But I can say that, like I said above, the only real way to know is to ask them yourself.
If your crush is dating somebody else, and shows no signs of liking you, then the case most likely is that they truly have feelings for their boyfriend of girlfriend and have no interest in anyone else.
If this is the case, then the only advice I can give is to try to move on.
One other very import
ant thing to note:
Your crush is a person, not an object.
You must acknowledge and respect the fact that your crush has feelings of their own.
Those feelings may or may not work in favor to you, but regardless, you must respect their feelings too.
This is where I will end this.
I know I didn't hit everything involved in a crush, but this is truly just for the basics.
If you have a more complicated situation, feel free to leave a comment or message me if you think my advice can help.
Other than that, I would love feedback from you guys on whether you feel my advice is helpful.
I will admit that a lot if it is simply common sense, but it's also backed up by what I've seen and experienced.
I have been told that advice I've given before has helped, but ya know, the more feedback I get, the better I can help.