The First Time Esme Saw Carlisle

The First Time Esme Saw Carlisle

This is the story of the first time Esme Cullen saw her soulmate, Carlisle Cullen

Chapter 1

Paralyzed

I was frozen. Not particularly cold, but more so paralyzed with a strange sense of adoration. I knew I should be grasping at my leg, screaming out in pain, but I simply had no voice to utter the sounds. Instead, my eyes remained fixated on the handsome stranger before me. I desperately tried to will them away, to search out other venues for their attention, but they refused to obey. He stood before me, seemingly unaware of my obsession, completely engrossed with my injury. As he was somewhat distracted by my sudden arrival to his office, I took the oppurtunity to examine the attractive doctor I had only seen from afar. There really was no other option for me. I couldn't gain control over my senses. Everything I had spent sixteen years trying to grow accustomed to, came rushing to the surface in a surge of unfamiliar emotions. My heart was racing, threatening to burst free from my chest, accelerating whenever his unusual eyes flickered to mine. Surely someone could hear the frantic thumping. It was deafening, even to my ears. My mind began to spin with anxiety as I listened to the unsteady rhythm. I was so preoccupied with my attempts to decrease the gallop, and finding another source for my eyes to gaze out upon, that I almost missed my father's exchange with the young doctor.

My attention was shattered as I heard the name of my caretaker. The words reverberated through my mind, bouncing wildly off the frazzeled edges; Doctor Carlisle Cullen, over and over again. My first thought was that of admiration for the striking man, and how his name seemed to spill from the pages of some foriegn fairytale. I'd never heard a name quite like his. It was unusual for our area, and strangely appealing. Then, as any infatuated girl would do, I silently mingled our names together, hoping for some kind of distraction to my obsession. But as I entwined the pieces, a sudden wash of contentment flooded through me. Everything around me was suddenly brighter, my skin was suddenly a few degrees warmer, my heart was suddenly pounding even more forcefully than before. I didn't understand the unusual feeling, yet it was peaceful, serene, and entirely new to me.

The corners of my lips turned upwards, as I relaxed under his gentle touch. Almost as if he sensed the change, he looked up into my green eyes, and flashed a crooked smile. It took only but a slight moment before his attention was once again upon my injured leg. I sat there utterly engrossed, as he methodically treated the break. I watched as he effortlessly tended to the aching wound with precision, occasionally stealing a glimpse at my awestruck face. I was mesmerized by his charm, his dedication, and even by the way the light seemed to bounce off his pale skin as he wrapped the break in my leg. But there was something more behind the sudden rush of emotion. Something I couldn't entirely comprehend. It was as if I knew him, as if the world had finally relinquished its hold upon me, and granted me this one oppurtunity.

As he turned to face my father, I quickly averted my eyes, desperately hoping he had not seen my obstinate staring. The kind smile that seemed permanently etched on to his face never faltered, as he carefully extended his gloved hand to my father. It took all of one rushed heartbeat to understand the complication in my mind. I was enraptured by him, and not just in a physical way. His mere presence had stirred something within me, driving my soul to heights I never knew could exist. I was young, too young for him to notice me, yet I could not help but feel as though there was a perfect balance streaming between us. A connection, tugging at the very fabric of my heart, urging me to stay just a little longer. To gather my wits, and speak even just one syllable to him. Just a hello, something simple, something that I should be able to manage. But the intense longing within me went far beyond my initial infatuation. The sense radiated from every pore, every cell, every tiny molecule that formed the make up of my being.

I knew nothing of love. Nothing of these strange feelings brimming to the surface. Yet, there it was, plain and as evident, as the butterflies in my stomach. The warmth, the peace, the complete and utter surrender of my heart to him. It was as much of love as I knew. A love that could not possibly be returned.

As swiftly as the epiphany came, my moment was over. My father was already helping me to my feet, as Doctor Cullen gently rested his hand on my shoulder, keeping my balance. I allowed one last glimpse at his angelic face, before I gave way to the inevitable loss. His eyes met mine in an instant, melting any resolve I had been trying to muster. I faintly mumbled a polite thank you, much to my own astonishment, before his smile crippled me once more; allowing his name to escape my lips without my hearts' consent.

Before I knew it, I was hobbling out into the dull light of the fading day, my father propping me up as we stumbled. The thought of never seeing him again was plauging my mind. A battle of endurance raged fiercely within my panic striken form. I dared not look behind me, for fear of rushing back into his gentle embrace. The only thing holding me to this dishelved street corner, was my own fear of rejection. It was not possible for him to reciprocate my feelings, and it was foolish of me to expect that. I just couldn't fathom the reasoning for my sudden realization. Could this be what love was truly like? Or was I just a deluded, besotted girl, with no sense of morality? I knew nothing about the kind Doctor, but the yearning I felt taunted, and begged, me to return to him. Quelling these feelings took every ounce of strength I had left in me. I could not allow my father to see the pain behind my eyes, nor the longing in my heart. A longing that I wasn't entirely sure I'd ever be able to control.

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