Pilot scene 1

Pilot scene 1

So I'm thinking about making an animated series. It'd be a cartoon. See www.youtube.com/user/randomcowproductions. What do you think of the indroduction? I wanna make it a comedy-drama, similar to "futurama." Tell me on a scale of 1-10 on how much you want the next part. It's written in script-book form

Chapter 1

Scene 1

Pilot (book version)
SCENE 1

It was a cold night. I didn't have to be outside to know it. I felt the cool wind sneak its way through the thin insulation. I felt numb and hallow as I packed my things. I thought that if I didn't think about it, then it wouldn't be as hard to leave. The florescent light flickered as a picked up my mp3 and put on he same song I always do when I feel like this.

"See of Love"

I was about to leave for the last time when something caught my eye; my old teddy bear. I've had him since the day I was born. I embraced him as I walked over to my book bag and packed him away, but I left his head out. He was afraid of the dark as I had been as a child. His left eye was always missing. He was broken, but that was just another thing we had in common.

As I exited the house the smell of rain hit me. Numbly, I walked down the cement path to the side walk past the crabgrass, weeds, and foreclosed sign and before reaching the sidewalk I took one last look at the house. The living room is where my parents fought, in the backyard is where I broke my arm, in the front is where mom would play with me, and in my room is we're I played my ukulele to comfort myself from the-

...

I hated that house.

For the first time that night a single tear shed down my face as it started raining. I tightly grabbed my suitcase and turned away towards the taxi.

I don't know how long I was packing, I don't know how long it took me to get to the taxi, I don't know long the drive was, or what I was thinking about. But what I do remember is I got out of the taxi and it was pouring

The moment I received my ukulele and suit case from the truck the taxi speed off. With my backpack feeling as heavy as the burden I've had to carry my whole life, I stepped towards the house.

I felt like a ghost, a figure of what I once was. The rain was bullets on my skin. Not even the loud thunder made me jump.

I reached the door. I never thought this moment would come. I played this scenario thousands of times over in my head, but I never thought it would actually happened. Weakly I knocked on the door. I waited dripping wet. I knocked again, harder, and waited.

She first saw her peek through the window, quickly she ran to the door. It unlocked swung open. Her face was filled with fear and concern, as if she already knew what was going on.

KORA: It happened…

ALI: Oh my god!

SCENE 2

I hadn't said anything to her since she let me in. It was late, I couldn't sleep.

KORA: Ali?

ALI: Yeah?

KORA: (pause) it can't get much worse than this can it?

ALI: ...

I waited awhile but she didn't reply.

KORA: but somehow it will... it'll find a way to make you suffer more, until your soul is broken and you've lost the will to live...

ALI: Don't take like that.

KORA: It's the truth

ALI: It SCARES me... (Pause) let me see your wrists

KORA: ... (Pulls blanket/turns away)

ALI: Kora... Let me see your wrists!

(KORA lifts her wrists from the blanket hastily as ALI inspects them. She has obviously been cutting recently. KORA looks at ALI with tears in her eyes)

KORA: I'm so sorry (she starts to cry hard as Ali holds her)

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