Don't read. You don't want to...

Chapter 1

I warned you

My impression that I'm getting from people is that people as a whole are out ot get you and that only their feelings matter. If your feelings get hurt then all that crosses their minds is 'oh well'. All my life that statment has been true about everyone I have ever met that's not on the internet. Every. Single. One. How many times have people stabbed me in the back? Thirty, fourty, fifty times? Maybe more? Been told 'I'll never leave Amy' then just when it gets rough they leave me without a second thought.

Am I really that worthless? Am I really just not worth it to be around? Am I just a horrible, mean, stupid friend? Or am I just bad as a person?

I'm getting the impression that when I meet someone that they'll eventually hate me for being me or when I tell them something that's not easy to hear that they'll just leave. They don't want to put the effort into talking to me about REAL world issues. They don't want to see it. Just pretend it's not there.

Maybe I am worthless. Maybe this life means nothing. I garuntee that's what more than half of the people in my life would agree with. Maybe I deserve to punish myself by cutting. Maybe all I deserved to be $xually abused. Becuase I'm just that horrible of a person. Maybe I deserve flashbacks. I guess I do. I guess if 95% of the people in my life think it's true then I guess it really is.


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