Eternal Sonata: The Failed Parody

People, people... Don't get offended if I make fun of some of your favorite characters! It's a parody. Duh.

I MAKE FUN OF ALLLLLLL THE CHARACTERS OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just warning!

I'm also warning that I am not good at this kind of stuff!

Chapter 1

It's Only the Beginning!

If you've never played this game before or if you've not finished it, then don't believe my exaggerations and lies. You might get confused.

Oh, and there's censored out swearing in there. If you don't like that, don't read! But it's censored, soooo.....

It all starts out with pretty, rainbow flowers in the field. A mommy named Soul Fudge and her daughter named Polka were walking through the field. Polka asked her mommy why there are waves in the ocean, and Soul Fudge said to jump in the ocean. It was very, very good parenting.

Many years later, Polka had to get home before dark because her mother will kill her if she didn't come home. As she walked along the path, she saw a squirrel. Polka named it Bob. When she tried to pet it, Bob ran away.

"COME BACK HHEEEEEEERRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!" Polka called. "BOOHOO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING HATES ME! WHY!? WHY THE THE WORLD HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL!?!?!"

Then she had a flashback. It included Floral Powder, flowers, guys punching each other, girls, and magic. It was sad.

Polka can use magic, which means she will die soon. Which was good for her because she thought no one liked her anyways.

She kept walking and battled many little green, pumpkin, vegetable monster that were bouncing up and down. She hit all of them with her umbrella and smashed them into pieces.

This would make good soup, Polka thought as she looked back at the smushed pumpkin-vegetable-monster. Then she skipped back to her home known as Tenuto Village.

Just so you know, most of the Eternal Sonata stuff is based on music, which means you can't argue with the musician-loving people about that.

"Polka? Did something happen at Retardando?" Polka's mom, Soul Fudge asked. Polka looked REALLY sad.

"It's Ritardando, not RETARDando. But whatever. Yeah, I used my magic and now everyone hates me. I'm going to leave Tenuto Village, but first I want to look at the flowers. Bye," Polka answered. Then she ran out the door.


Back at Retar-- I mean, RItardando, there was a boy and a little boy stealing bread. The older one was really optimistic and never gave up, and the younger one was a coward and likes taking pictures.

"C'mon, let's go to the sewers and give these bread to the poor people!" The older boy, Allegretto (aka Ayhole), said.

"But Retto, why do we have to do it?" The younger one, Beat (aka Beato), asked. "Plus, it's too much work!"

"We go because the director said so. Now come on!" Allegretto answered. Then they ran to the sewers, fighting rats with funky names. Along the way they encountered a big, ugly, yellow rat.

"D^mn you, hah!" Allegretto said as he made the final blow. Then the rat turned into a huge ball of light and disappeared.

So they delivered the bread. Then Allegretto decided that they should head all the way to Forte Castle and talk to Count Waltz and complain about the taxes.

If one were to imagine how it would be like when they get there...

"I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY! JUST LOWER THE TAXES!" Ayhole demanded.

Count Waltz sat on his throne, obviously really bored. Him and his 16-year-old baby face answered, "F^^^ you, get out of here. If I don't want to, then the taxes don't get lowered. That's just a few sad rules of life."

"Lower the taxes, son of a ^^^^^!" Ayhole kept demanding.

--The imagination ends....--

"Huh, you know what, final decision: We're going!" Allegretto said.

They have never been outside of Ritardando, so hey, let's wander out to Forte City!

How's my failed parody?

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