My drug, My devil, My sick addiction...

Okay so this is depressing but its what I am feeling. and I dont do drugs! lol! Its just a metaphor :P

Chapter 1


I shouldnt but I do, I still want him. He's like a drug, sometimes getting me high, always making me itch for more, and leaving his searing mark on me. The after effects of the drug is a burning ache in my chest that almost stops my breathing.
I am an ex-addict. I have stop using but never have I once stopped wanting. All the horrible pains I have experianced because of him, my drug, still live in my memory. But also still alive in my memory are the times he gave me the high, he slipped it into the torture to keep me there, to keep me right where he wanted me.
He never cared about me. He gave me the high to bring me in deeper, to get me more entangled in his web. Just as the devil tempts the everyday soulds of people to drag them deep in sin. He was my drug, he had the lure of the devil, and lord did I love him.
Feeling so much at once hurts, it did hurt, like getting thrown into a pit of fire and having it slowly burn every part of you. As I cried so hard and for so long I had started to fear that I would never be able to stop. As I tried to grab the air for my lungs in between every sob, I was afraid he had taken my air, that I would never breathe, that all torture had caused my lungs to burst making me unable to suck in oxygen.
Everyone makes bad choices, lots people make their bad choices on accident. Some people make their bad choices just for the heck of wanting to start mayhem. I had thought I was making a good choice. i thought he had something good in him, everyone told me he was a bad guy but I was sure that there was something in him. Something good, something only I could apparently see. I thought there was something in him worth waiting for, so I was so willing to wait.
Now I know there was nothing there. That my waiting had just been time wasted. All my waiting did was drag me into addiction, even after no longer using, every time I see him I itch for more of his drug and I feel the large empty hole in my chest that the devil had dug.


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