Sorry It's not well edited. But read if you have or are in depression or even if you have a friend like this, show this to them.

Chapter 1

Why do I even try.

I try to make my family and friends happy and always put them first, and yes I know that I put me first some times, and I don't mean to be self centered. But they all when I'm just trying to gain their love in return but they always seem to turn their backs to me as if I don't exist, just because I'm bi.

I really do wonder why I even try when I'm never going to earn anything. My teachers always say "You have great talent," then ask,"But why do you make it in to a put down of yourself or something sad?" (when I show them some OCC stories I wrote) I know I can not tell them of how lonely I am so I answer with the same old thing,"I find it more beautiful that way."

My friends never ask are you okay, and I always get bullied , because I'm goth, I like anime, and of my looks. And no matter what I do if I report to the teacher it won't work and I try to stand up for myself, but I always I go to the school therapist and always ask the same question,"Why me? What did I ever do to have them all hate me like this?"

She tries her best to work it out, and I'm thankful for that, but practically ever day I go back cry, tears running down my face and plan sobbing.

And it all happens every day and every day I begin to wonder,"How much longer will the pain go on?How much longer can I hold myself up? When will I be able to escape and be free from it all?"

But the day that people say will come, that happy, gorgeous day where some amazing will happen to you, has never and will never come for me.

And I guess I'll just have to get so use to this kind of life, that I'll never feel anything again the point were I end up dead on the street, or jumping off a building, that will be my day where I disappear and will never have to feel that same pain ever again.

Please If you feel like this or even some part of it comment. If your thinking,"Why the h3ll did she right this?" or,"This sounds like me." Then I want you to know that I lost my dad and every thing above his exactly how I feel and what is happening to me.

I just want some people to know don't commit suicide just because a few people are doing very bad thing to you, always remember that you'll never be alone.


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