I'm in a bad mood, so I'm going to rant now. If you're easily offended, narrow-minded, or dislike me, I highly suggest not reading this.

Beware of angry 13 year old girls with hyper-critical minds and a place to rant. This will contain everything from the fangirl rants about character injustice to legit rants about major problems.

Chapter 1

If you're easily offended, turn around and get away from this lovely rant.

Well, this marvelous rant is going to be on something that's pretty much taboo. Religion. My dad's side of the family is very, very Catholic. The "If you don't go to church every Sunday, obey everything in the Bible, and pray all the time, you'll go to hell immdeatly" type of Catholic. My mum and her sister went to Catholic school when they were young, but now we don't go to church much, because they've been to enough mass to last a lifetime. But I'm pretty sure they're believers.

Until my parents got divorced, I had to go to church every Sunday, and hated it purly because it bored the shiit out of little me. So a bunch of divorce-y things happend, I moved out to Pittsburgh with my mum and brothers, and we didn't have to go to church every week. We only really went on major holidays and two or three random times when mum felt guilty about not going. Unless it was my weekend with dad. For a while we stayed at my Papi's house and went on Sunday. It was still really boring, but I kind of believed, only because I didn't know any other way.

Then dad started staying at our house on the weekends instead of at Papi's, and we eventually just stopped going. So except for a few times, it was pretty much out of my life.

Then about a year and a half ago, I started thinking about if there really is a God. It seems a little illogical to me. I may not be a theologist, but I am a science student. Really, I doubt some mystical being just plopped everyone and everything on the Earth. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I don't really believe anymore. I believe in what I can see, what I can prove.

And Christianity is just kind of restrictive. You can't be gay, you can't be jealous, and you have to follow all of the rules or you get eternal suffering. You basically have be perfect. That seems unfair to me. If God really does care about every human life, then why is anyone who crosses the line sent to hell? If he cared, would He do that? And if He cared, why does a bunch of bad shiit happen to everybody? Natural disasters, car crashes, murder, all of that lovely stuff. Why would all of that happen?

Answer: He doesn't give a fvck. I think we're all just some sick soap opera for him to watch,if it's all real.

Everyone on my dad's side just assumes I believe. They assume that I'm going to be confirmed this time next year, get married in the Catholic church, all of that stuff. I hate assumptions with a passion. Do you really think you know everything about somebody you only talk to a few times a year?I have the right to choose. I don't think I can say that I think it's all real, because that's a huge lie. I know, I know, it's the basic truth of humanity that everbody lies. But some things you can't lie about, especially when it ties you to something you hate.

If I don't stay in this faith, I'll probably get disowned, become the shame of one side of my family, and sent to Catholic school to re-install faith into me. They already critcize me for not being a perfect, pretty girly-girl who obeys all of the rules. If they read this, some major shiit would go down. If I was bold enough, I'd say all of this out loud, their opinions be damned. Let them disown me, let them send me to a Catholic school. At least I wouldn't have to see them again. And causing that much of a stir would be fun, but I'm not going to put the few realtions I care about in that position. If they weren't there, I would say it, without a second thought.

I warned you that if you're easily offended, you shouldn't read this. You can't say I didn't. And I know it's patchy, and jumps from one topic to another. But it's how I feel, how I work. Deal with it. If you don't like it, you shouldn't have read it.


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