Dirty Little Secret

I felt important, walking next to the beautiful girl.

She was tall, with long gorgeous dark hair that fell to her waist. She walked with a spark of confidence in her eye. Everything about her was gorgeous, her tall thin figure, the perfectly high cheekbones, the features just soft enough to be kind looking as well as pretty. Standing next to her, I looked like a washed up rag.

I barely came up to her shoulders. My hair was long too, and thin. The biggest problem was that I was skinny - Oh, so very skinny - and my skin was white as a ghost, and I stood out like a sore thumb. My eyes looked washed out as if they were a black and white photograph worn from the sun. Of course, I knew this wasn't the case.

My eyes were worn because of the horrible things I'd seen.

But somehow, there was something there, too. Something in her face, something in her eyes, that was all too familiar. That look of distant guilt. The look that you put on, your brave face, when you know what the truth could rise to the surface at any moment, bubble up from someones lips without warning.

The same look that I had held on my face for three years.

"What's your first class?" The girl on her other side asked, running a hand through her hair. She was pretty as well. Not like Jessie, but this girl, Lena, had something to her, a sort of mystique, that I thought was special. Not like me. Not like the washed up rag of a girl I now was. "I have my AP History class."

"I have to head to Algebra," Jessie said, her eyes sparkling. Oh, goodness. Now she was intelligent too.

I frowned. "Band."

Both girls turned to look at me, their faces lost.

"Band?" Jessie asked. "What do you play?"

"I'm a floutist," I admitted. "I'm not very good at it though. Maybe I should skip."

Jessie grinned. "Now you're talking!"

Was she serious? I had no time to wonder. Both girls stopped. Their eyes widened.

It didn't take me long to see what they did.

For a long moment, the figure stared at us in turn, one to the other, slowly, slowly. Then he turned and bolted away, tossing the slim piece of metal in his hand to the side.

Our eyes fell down to the ground. The world had fallen silent.

And for the second time, the horrible color of crimson blood stained my eyes.

It leaked down into my skin and I could almost taste it, smell it. It washed down into my clothes and forever stained me, forever scarred me where I could never remove it. Both girls stumbled back. Jessie let out a little bit of a scream.

I didn't move. My eyes didn't leave the bloodied figure on the ground, staring blindly up at the ceiling. I really did not want to say a word, but for some reason I had to open my mouth and then I let out the soft name that had rolled off my tongue so many times before. But never, never like this.

"Jacob."

Jacob. The only one I had. The little brother, who was taller than me, sandy blonde hair, tan skin, the only one with a future on him. Captain of the freshman football team. Liked by everyone.

Well, I guess not everyone. Because now, his blood spreaded on the tiles, staining me. Staining me with everything. Staining me with tears.

"Jacob," his name bubbled from my throat once again, and I fell to my knees. Someone else screamed. There was shuffling feet running off in the direction of my brothers killer, and then a teacher sprinted around the corner.

Somehow, I stood up. Somehow I stumbled to the wall and pulled the fire alarm. There was shuffling feet and gasps, nips and screams of kids as they saw the body laying on the ground in the hallway. Everyone went outside. There were bells ringing in my head.

Jessie ran to my side and tried to hold me up, but I still collapsed against the wall.

In a drop of ink, the world began to disperse. I was swallowed in nightmares.

And all I saw was blood.

Crimson stained me.

Forever.