The World's Cleverest Girl

A very unrealistic story, but fun to read (i think).

Chapter 1


by: oiio
The frosty English winter snow glazed itself outside the ice-cold windows of the icy hospital theatre. Mrs Helen was in intense labour. Her child was about to emerge from the shadowed corners of her womb.
"Go on Madison.... Go on! You can do it....!" There was a faint voice from her husband, who was now merely a blurred confusion of a silhouette....There were some faint white sparks in the distance......
Dr. Fresher, a medium-height man with an oval face, comical moustache, and Einstein-like hair, lifted the rosy baby from its dead mother. Poor Mr Helen! He was left to weep in sorrow over his wife. The baby was taken away by the brunette nurse through the alabaster, frosty doors to be washed away from its blood and tissue. There was a soft swing of the door, and the doctor too, had gone.
After some time, the brunette nurse returned, her hazel eye-brows furrowed and lips parted slightly in amazement.
"Mr Helen! I am quite proud to say that your child is a genius. Just now , and I swear by Hannah that I'm not wrong ; the child uttered the words 'Why have you taken me out of my mother's tummy?' "
Mr Helen had his jaw touching the floor ; eye brows and eyes wider than the size of the Earth. He passed out for a second, but regained consciousness after a little hydrogen oxide was spilt on his face.
"I'm sorry!" he said, shocked, "For a moment there I thought you said that my 3-minute-old child not only spoke in perfectly grammatical English, but also questioned on why she was taken out of her mother's womb. WHERE did she pick up the vocabulary?!"
"Well, Sir, I did mention when I was talking to myself ; 'You have, why , been taken out of your mother's tummy' " remarked the nurse, quite shocked. She slipped out of the room and returned a minute later with the child in her hand. The baby was dressed in a tiny silver dress and white under-pants.
She quite astonishingly had a small tuft of black hair on that tiny head of hers, perfect semi-circle eyes with soft hazel pupils in them, and a thin but intelligent mouth and face. It was very odd ; how could a baby have hair after being just 5 minutes into the earth, and talk when just 3 minutes into the Earth?
Anyway, the little genius needed to go home. But when the nurse was about to fit her into the newly bought buggy her father had got for her ; something even MORE astonishing happened. She simply prompted herself upright, jumped into the little buggy, lifted herself into walking position, and fearlessly began to walk up and down into the little space of the buggy. By this time, both the Nurse and Mr Helen had fainted, and the little baby's hair was now in a decent hair-style of pony tails - yet neither the baby nor the nurse had put it like that; her body seemed to have done so without her knowing.
Soon after the duo had regained consciousness, the doctor was consulted to view this abnormal power. Dr. Fresher had the baby placed upright in standing position, and neuropsychologist, Dr. Hamish, was beside him. Dr. Hamish was an Indian man, with the traditional black hair and brown eyes, and these features of him were quite strained as he analysed the little prodigy.
"Well Mr Helen, I've to say that in all my years as a neuropsychologist, I've never come up with anything as strange as this. The child's barely 20 minutes old and here she is; walking, talking, and questioning!"
As if to cue, the baby quickly said (in a babyish voice) , "That's right! I love learning... By the way, what does a neuropsychologist do?" she asked.
At this point, Dr. Hamish was about to pass out himself, but regained himself. The genius had said that word "neuropsychologist" without even a little slip of the tongue!!
Dr. Fresher was quick to point out a possible theory for the matter.
"Mr Helen, your child is of great genius potential. Might I suggest that this be due to the fact that her brain was actually left to grow much longer than the average child? If you would recall, Mrs Helen had delivered her child more than 2 months after the prescribed date. Usually, the baby would be of serious disorder, but in this case, your wife has obviously inherited some sort of extraordinary talent in the tot. This is nothing but scientific marvel, Mr Helen, and we hereby conclude our analysis."
Dr. Fresher lifted himself from his chair, and browsed over some papers in an open metal cabinet. He thumbed out a particular document and returned to his seat.
"Here we are! This is a little note to prescribe for her-- to develop this marvellous brain, she needs to attend 'The gifted school' - a school for such kids. Though, these kinds of cases are quite rare, and I must admit, this is a case that nothing in HISTORY has happened."
Mr Helen still had one more doubt.
"But the hair-- what about that?!"
Dr Hamish smiled cunningly.
"Her mind is so brilliant that at her wish, the other parts of her brain obey commands to be neat, orderly and professional. At her wish, her mind power grows hair."
"Wow......" said Mr Helen, amazed at his little baby, now only 45 minutes old and starting to learn alphabets on her own with a nursery book on the table.
Madison would be so proud, he thought. He had the cleverest girl in the world.
"Oh and one last thing...." said Dr Hamish with a kind grin. "You need to sign these. Your daughter has won a place in the Guinness World Book of Records for the world's youngest girl to speak."
What a day, thought Mr Helen, as he trudged through the winter snow, trying to avoid people seeing a grown man walking with a little girl about 30 cm in height - the size of a good ruler. What a day. Within the short time of 1 hour, he had lost his wife, discovered that his daughter's first word was "why", that she was a child genius, and she had a Guinness world record for the world's youngest girl to speak. He later found out that she had two world records; the next one being for the youngest person to ever even achieve a record.
Anyhow, he hadn't named the girl yet. He decided to call her Heather. It was the name that Madison loved, as it reminded her of Heather hills, and soft, wintery places.
When they got home, he tucked Heather into bed, and whispered good night. She, in turn, wished him good night as well.
After a breakfast the next day of macaroni cheese, he popped down with his fast-growing,( now very, very quickly talking girl) to the hospital again to register her birth certificate. It was hard to believe that this 30 cm tall girl that was talking about astrophysics, was, well - born yesterday.
In fact, he decided to test how far Heather's brain could go to. He told her to buy a chocolate bar from the shop as he passed it on the way home-- the money was given to her. He watched the scene as she picked up a bar of 20pence less price as the money given to her, and tried to reach up to the man the money. The man took the money, but gave no change.
"Excuse me, I'm waiting for my 20 pence change and receipt!" she demanded. Mr Heather was laughing wildly outside as he saw the expression on the man's face.
The man gulped and spoke.
"My girl, you don't receive change."
"Do I look like I was born yesterday?" she asked.
Mr Heather found this too funny to bear. He laughed until his sides began to split. He quickly came into the shop, cheeks bright red, and tears of joy coming out of his eyes.
"M-m-y girl, Heather, come along now! Sir, please give her the- the-" he burst out laughing again. "Ch-change and r-receipt!"
The man quickly handed over 20 pence and the small receipt and shooed the two of them away.
After the duo had walked a sufficient 3 meters down the street, they began to talk.
"Heather, you asked him if you looked like you were born yesterday." Mr Helen said, a little quietly now that he had calmed down.
"Yes daddy! He tried to gyp me!!" She exclaimed, still seething with anger. This seemed a little much. A 1 day old - walking, talking, and now, even feeling the emotion of anger. Barely the size of a ruler, she had now been potty self-trained and had the amazing skill of writing many paragraphs of reports. She had learnt this by seeing a couple of "LEARNING ABC books" and seeing other people write.
In fact, she was promoted already from nappies to tiny underpants, since she was able to control when to excrete, and she did not cry in the middle of the night; nor bother her father in any way. It was as if she was an adult- but she wasn't, she was a 1 day old baby. But this baby dressed herself, sorted her clothes and demanded a closet, stopped the over-growth of her hair, cut her nails and washed her hands by climbing into the sink, bathed herself and above all this- Heather cooked her own little meals for her father with the special remote controlled high chair that she herself had invented.
"Heather, when do you presume you were born?" Heather's father asked, smiling at his over-intelligent child.
Heather blushed and smiled. "You have a point, daddy, you have a point." she said, with a small chuckle, and they both broke into laughter.
Of course, none of these strange events went unnoticed. Oh no. By the time Heather was a week old, she had invented her own alarm clock to wake herself up, out of nothing but a battery and some orange peels. She could now cook irresistibly AMAZING dishes that would get anyone's tongue dancing with divine delight. Heather now started reading books on nuclear physics and astronomy as well as quantum mechanics. She made herself grow by an entire 7 cm - she was now 37 cm.
Mr Helen was amazed beyond compare. News reporters and Television channels made entire series episodes on herself and her life so far. There were documentaries and regular television updates that surrounded her with awe. Not that fame ever got to the 1-week-old head. She still stood with care and cooked meals without a single bit of pride, but a lot of humility.
A year passed this way. And these were her achievements by the end of it.
1. Growth by 14cm.
2. A GCSE and A level in Astrophysics, Math, Biology, Theology and Psychology.
3. Appearing on the program Adult Master chef, Documentaries of life and the game show : gifted game.
4. Radio jockey for the regular "Geek Radio" for College students on Astrophysics.
5. 1st in the Gifted School, and won prizes in sewing, cooking, knitting, problem solving and table tennis.
6. Winning the grand prize of Adult Master Chef - £400, 000, 000.
7. Guinness World book of records for the best singer in the world, longest talker (82 hours straight), number of Oscar awards in a row and youngest member of the World orchestra.
8. Oscar awards for starring in the film : Batinda, You'll never beat me, Swot and Pressure.
9. Advised the president of the United State of America, upon hearing of which, all his problems were vanquished. World famous girl.
10. Won a place in Oxford University.
"ASTONISHING! AMAZING! I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU!!" Screamed Mr Helen with so much joy he could hardly take it. His little 1 year old Heather, doing all this. World famous! Naturally, this meant that he himself got a slice of fame. In fact, everyone even obscurely related to Heather had some kind of TV show of their own, or were local hot shots. The shop keeper that had tried to gyp Heather was now running AMAZING business because people found out that Heather had foot-printed in the shop. And on top of all this, she was sweet, too beautiful for words, and as kind and humble as ever.
Of course, her Father was mounted with bills and was too busy sorting out Heather's time table. It was just as well that she cooked the meals. Her gifted school was no longer suitable for her; she was too smart for it. In fact, no school was suitable. She had to move to Oxford, and use boarding school facilities there.
Her Father, being her closest relative, now had a large chain of superstores all over Britain, created by the billions of pounds received for her performances.
At this point of the story, you may be wondering that this is a little over-board. 1 year old? Achieving things greater than great? At this point of the story, it might be a good idea for you to look over her mother's past.

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